(Minghui.org) I live in a town near Wuhan City. I had an accident when riding my electric bike on December 31, 2019. The bike hit a small wooden block on the road and fell after turning over a few times. I fell to the ground and was unable to get up. My husband called 120 [equivalent to U.S. 911]. I was taken to the hospital and the x-ray showed that I had a comminuted fracture. I was unable to walk.
However, I was determined to take the path that Master Li (Falun Gong's founder) arranged for me, from refusing surgery, to not taking any medicine, and checking myself out of the hospital. Five or six days later, the plaster cast was removed. I felt that Master was right next to me and cared for me, so that I could make the right decisions as a practitioner. On the second morning after the plaster was removed, my daughter woke up and said to me, “...what remains is only this bit of black qi that will come out on its own...” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun). I knew it was a hint from Master.
My daughter is less than 10 years old and has been practicing Falun Gong, also known as Falun Dafa, with me since she was born. She is firm in Dafa but playful. In order to take good care of her, I gave up a well-paying job for a lesser paying one near my home. I took her to study the Fa for an hour every morning and evening. We have studied all of Master’s lectures. We practiced the exercises intermittently. She is clear on the Fa principles.
She stresses clarifying the truth about Dafa, and has encouraged me to do so since she was three years old. She has cooperated with me when doing various truth-clarifying projects. She was at home for the school winter break when I had the accident. She accompanied me every day to study the Fa until midnight and send righteous thoughts. She also helped with household chores, such as making breakfast and making her bed. Her xinxing has risen and her playful and lazy mentalities were gradually removed.
One day I talked to her about the cause of my accident. I said, “Recently, fellow practitioners and my colleagues praised me a lot. Unconsciously I developed the mentalities of complacency and showing-off, which I didn’t realize.”
I continued, “I should realize that it’s my own complacency attachment that resulted in people’s praises. However, I became too relaxed in cultivation and didn’t look inward. I thought that I was just pretty good in cultivation.” My daughter said seriously, “Your complacency mentality indeed has grown, and must be removed. Otherwise, it can develop demonic interference from one’s own mind.” I was shocked to hear that.
After the accident, I calmed down and spent a lot of time studying the Fa, reciting the Fa, and sending righteous thoughts for a long time to clear up my own dimension. I found many deeply-hidden attachments. Gradually my cultivation improved a lot, which laid the foundation for me to face the upcoming epidemic with righteous thoughts.
I had been studying the Fa at home for about 20 days before the Wuhan coronavirus broke out around January 20 or so, something really shocking. Wuhan City was locked down. A few days later, the lockdown had spread to our local area. The residential community where I lived was in lockdown too. People were not allowed freely in and out. Supplies were delivered when requested.
One day, my daughter found dozens of truth-clarifying brochures in a cabinet and asked if she could distribute them in the community, six copies each time. I hesitated for a long time before giving permission. While she went out to distribute the brochures, I sent righteous thoughts at home. At that time, I was in huge fear, because the community was in lockdown and one could be discovered when outside the home. After she finished the task, she came back smiling, while I was trembling.
I had studied the Fa for a long time and had sent righteous thoughts four times a day – one hour each time. I wished she would wait for a few days before going out again. However, she said, “I want to distribute them all before the epidemic comes into our community.” I couldn’t say anything but cooperate and send righteous thoughts whenever she was out.
Once, she went out at midnight and did not return for a long time. I was unable to go out and look for her. I kept asking Master to protect her. When she came back, she told me that she had to stay in a corridor for a long time to avoid people, so it took longer than usual.
My mind was in turmoil, one moment struggling in fear, and then sending firm righteous thoughts. I didn’t think that my attachment to fear was so strong. In fact, I had cooperated with a fellow practitioner to clarify the truth face to face on the street a few years ago. We even went to a small factory to clarify the truth to the workers there. At that time, many fellow practitioners thought both of us had strong righteous thoughts. However, I know now that the fear was hidden deep in my heart.
Once after my daughter came back after distributing the materials, I told her that I was scared. She answered, “It’s not you but the evil who is afraid.” After she finished distributing dozens of brochures, I had to look for the root of my fear. In the process of clearing up my fear again and again by sending righteous thoughts, I slowly traced its source. I realized that my fear came from an arrest of mine. I didn’t do well after I was arrested at that time. Since then, I was in the shadow of fear when clarifying the truth. Starting to clear up the root of fear caused by the persecution and rectifying myself, I felt my xinxing had improved.
Soon after the lockdown, there were confirmed cases of the coronavirus in the local area as well as in our residential community. A notice of a confirmed case was posted in the unit next door, and another notice of a suspected case was also posted in the building behind, which brought fear to everyone.
Just then, my husband started to have a dry cough. I started to have an itchy throat, and was trying not to cough. The fear took over again, although I knew that a practitioner would not get sick. But the strong fear still made me tremble. I studied the Fa from morning to night every day. I gradually got rid of my fear. I realized that it was caused by the attachment to sickness hidden deep in my mind.
Facing the fears day by day, I kept studying the Fa and digging out all kinds of human notions and attachments deep in my mind. Gradually I could let go of the fear of the plague. The righteous thoughts dominated me. I no longer felt that my throat was itching, which actually must be looked at as a purification process for a practitioner. To ordinary people, the epidemic is an elimination. My daughter said, “I realize that Dad’s cough is just an illusion, which is caused by the concern of both of us. His cough has escalated to test us.”
One day, my fear of the epidemic appeared again and I said to my daughter, “Mother is worried that I will not survive this epidemic.” My daughter said, “We definitely will survive. However, I am afraid that ordinary people will not.” She wanted to go out to post the life-saving words as soon as possible.
Since we had no stickers and no printer, she hand-wrote on small pieces of paper, “Life-saving prescription for the pneumonia: sincerely saying Falun Dafa is good, can save your life in the crisis,” “Life-saving prescription for pneumonia: withdrawing from the CCP and its youth organizations, can save your life. The phone number to call is…” Then she would carefully draw a pink lotus flower on the back of the note. Each piece of paper was only the size of a palm. Without glue, we steamed potatoes and then cut them in half. By rubbing the cut side of a potato against the wall, then putting the small piece of paper on it, a sticker would be produced and posted quickly.
My daughter would go out to post the stickers in the early morning while I would face my own attachment of fear and human notions. Once, she wanted to go out to post stickers again. She said, “I'm just running errands. It’s Master who is doing it all.” I didn’t say anything and realized it was a hint from Master to encourage me not to hold fear. The next morning, her words appeared in my brain just after opening my eyes, “I’m just running errands. It’s Master who is doing it all.” I let her go out at 7 a.m., while I sent righteous thoughts for her.
Every time when she came back, I felt it was particularly bright in my physical dimension, in my mind, and even in the community. Once I said to her, “When you are out there to post the stickers, I am still a little afraid.” She said, “Mother, it’s not right to be afraid, because I’m posting the Dafa stickers to save sentient beings.” I knew I must eliminate my fear and human notions when the Fa-rectification is coming to the human world.
Master said,
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I knew everything came from the Fa, so I would study the Fa the entire day. By the evening, I would basically break out of my worrying state. After more than half a month, I found that my main consciousness had become much stronger, and I was no longer that afraid every day. My righteous thoughts began to dominate.
One day I realized that I had improved in my cultivation. I found out that the showing-off as well as other attachments were all at the same level. They would only manifest on a particular level. Once one was beyond this level, they would be gone. I simply didn’t want to show off any more. I felt that the showing-off was dirty, corrupted, and low-energy.
Why could I surpass it little by little in just one month now? The epidemic touched the nature of my self-protection. In the difficult selection of “selfness” or “altruism” I chose the sentient beings.
In the past, although I knew in theory that the root of the old universe is selfishness, I had never seriously dealt with this issue. On the surface it seemed that I was diligent in cultivation and did the three things mechanically. When I realized this root of selfishness, I felt like I was bursting out of a thick, dirty, and solid shell. I could feel that true selfness is innocent and selfless. At the same time, when I found my true self, those attachments could be easily removed. They were just a layer of dust on the surface. I didn’t need to swirl around in those attachment whirlpools anymore.
I also understood why people didn’t want to listen to us in the past when we clarified the truth to them. When we are sealed by this thick shell of “selfishness” and “numbness,” what we say has no mighty power of pure benevolent compassion, and is not our true self, therefore it truly is not really effective.
After I had enlightened to the above, something happened. In the past, I'd asked my daughter to bring to a lady from my husband’s family the software for breaking the Internet blockade, and I also tried to inform her via phone. Both of us hadn't reached her. Then, she came to my home to pick up the software. She'd never come to my home before. I realized, this “selfishness” and “numbness” was the matter of the old universe, very similar to the old forces. Master always stresses the importance of studying the Fa. Especially at the end of Fa-rectification, in order to have fundamental changes, one must study the Fa well. Only Dafa can change a “selfish” life in the old universe and change it to become one of selflessness and altruism.
I also find that many fellow practitioners, like me, who have cultivated in the Fa for 20 years or so and have enlightened to some Fa principles, tend to talk about their own understandings, think their own understandings are right, and rarely talk about what is said by the Fa, when having a Fa-sharing. This self-satisfaction prevents us from letting go of oneself, and studying the Fa with a humble mindset. In fact, this self-satisfaction is a great disrespect to the Fa. For a long time, many fellow practitioners have failed to understand the Fa, and have been unable to fundamentally change themselves. Sometimes we still tend to depend on fellow practitioners and the group as a whole, instead of cultivating according to the Fa and understanding the Fa. Therefore, the Fa will not manifest itself in front of us.
I hope, besides urgently saving sentient beings, practitioners also study the Fa more, cultivate themselves well, and find the attachments that have long existed, but were not recognized. Only by assimilating to the Fa, can one be truly able to offer salvation to sentient beings. After all, it is not our physical body, but the Fa that can save sentient beings.
At the same time, I found that it is very powerful to send righteous thoughts. In the process of sending righteous thoughts for a long time, I found that some long- standing things arranged by the old forces in my body were disintegrated. They have always hindered and controlled me, preventing me from truly recognizing my attachments and human notions. They have also amplified my attachments and made them stubborn and difficult to be removed. At the same time, these corrupt substances have also made me numb and slack. Sending righteous thoughts for a long time also disintegrated a lot of evil factors behind the people in the residential community. We must pay attention when sending righteous thoughts during this epidemic.
As I cooperated with my daughter to clarify the truth, and as I studied the Fa every day and cultivated myself to improve to a certain level, I enlightened with the help of Master, that I should write down that people during the epidemic were being saved by sincerely saying, “Falun Dafa is good,” and post it in the fitness center where more people can see while doing the exercises. As before, my fear arose, “So many people would read my handwriting. I am the only practitioner in the community ...” After much deliberation, I let go of my fear, between myself and the sentient beings, I chose to let go of self. My daughter posted the notice again in the early morning. Later I found that there were many people working out in the fitness center near my home. I was happy and also afraid. I kept sending righteous thoughts to clear up my human notions and study the Fa. At the same time, I noticed that there was less severe coughing in the community.
My daughter told me a dream she had that night after she posted the letter. In the dream, I was practicing the second exercise at home facing the back of the wall, where the entire wall had a huge picture of Master. Master was in a cassock, standing on a large lotus, and radiating golden dazzling rays around his body, which showed an indescribable magnificent sacredness. There were two golden dragons on each side of Master. Master and the golden dragons were above the colorful clouds. Behind Master was a heavenly palace, golden and bright like the scene seen in the backstage of the Shen Yun show. The painting was fixed and hung on the wall, but the scene inside the painting was dynamic, and the light from Master was constantly radiating. In the dream, my daughter was lost but I found her. I was really moved when my daughter told me her dream. I knew that Master was encouraging me and reassuring me, that with the protection of Master, one must be doing as much as one can to save sentient beings.
Later, I realized that I should clarify the truth from the balcony. I tried, but the effect was not very good, which was a little disappointing. But, now I realized that I should persist and eventually the situation would change. I feel, it is very difficult to walk every step in the Fa and every step requires complete and unconditional trust in Master. Every step is a watershed between the life and death of sentient beings. Every step is also a life change of my own.
I don’t read the news on the internet, or the epidemic news sent to my cell phone. I simply delete the messages. I just study the Fa and read articles on the Minghui website to improve on the Fa. I also need to know what is meant by the Fa on those worldly issues, so that I can try my best to cultivate and save more sentient beings. At the same time, I also find that the articles on the Minghui website can also quickly correct me when my righteous thoughts are not strong, and my negative thinking is heavy. It can help me attain strong righteous thoughts instantly.
When cooperating with my child, especially in the early stages when I had a lot of fear, looking at her who was pure and fearless, I once laughed and said, “Mother is so afraid. It’s you who forced me to go forward. When I let go of a lot of material benefits so you could cultivate, I never thought that one day you could help me like this. I no longer will treat you as a little fellow practitioner. You are like me, a Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period. You cultivate much better than I.” She asked me to stop saying such things.
In addition to seeing her purity, selflessness, and firm belief in Dafa and Master, I also find many things for her to improve upon, such as not knowing how to cultivate solidly, and not having found many of her attachments. She also talks to me about how to find my own attachments. I can objectively see her cultivation. I realize that it is not her but Master who is helping us moving forward. All is arranged by Master.
I have gradually matured in my cultivation, I have gone from the state of low energy, showing-off, validating myself and complacency, to the state of believing in Master and the Fa. Master is great! Dafa is mighty! I don’t want to validate myself but Dafa only.