(Minghui.org) When I was a kid, I lived with my grandparents. Because they spoiled me, I was stubborn and selfish and didn't know traditional cultural etiquette.
From the time I was in elementary school, I was brainwashed by the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) doctrine of atheism. After entering society, although I was seemingly meek, my attachments to selfishness and fighting never decreased.
I ended up developing all kinds of health issues. In 1996, I was seeking to alleviate the pain of severe cervical spondylosis and periarthritis when a friend recommended Falun Dafa.
After I started practicing Dafa, I became light-hearted and was able to fall asleep. My chronic gastritis, breast tumors, and many other painful diseases were gone.
I felt comfortable from head to toe. After obtaining the Fa, I no longer felt lonely or empty and lived free from anxiety. I even started waking up with a smile in the morning.
Before I became a cultivator, I always wanted to profit at other people's expense. If I gained anything, I felt happy and satisfied. But through continuous Fa-study, I no longer cared about personal gains and losses, and I was very conscientious about my work. Everyone trusted me!
Master said:
“The realm you reach in cultivation will manifest itself in every setting. People will say you are a good person—at work, in everyday life, at home, or out in society.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference”)
My mother-in-law had cancer and couldn't take care of herself after suffering a cerebral hemorrhage. She loved to be clean, however, and had the habit of taking a bath every day.
She had itchy skin in her later stages of cancer, and in order to alleviate her discomfort, I bathed her with warm water almost every day at her request and washed her clothes afterward.
Her underwear was washed by hand. In the beginning, she complained that either the clothes were not clean enough, or there was a problem with the shampoo or body wash. So I paid more attention to ensure her clothes were clean and often switched the brand of shampoo or body wash. In her final years, I couldn't even remember how many brands I tried.
One day, my colleagues invited me to travel with them, I said: “I can't go because I have to bathe my mother-in-law.” They couldn't understand why I, as a daughter-in-law, needed to do that and suggested I let my mother-in-law's daughter or a nanny do it.
I was surprised to hear that, as this is the thinking of today's people. In fact, I sometimes felt I didn't have to do it. I had a thought that I sacrificed for her. Although I tried to suppress this thinking, it still came out from time to time. It especially came out when my mother-in-law was not happy about how I helped her.
Sometimes, my mother-in-law was also sober in thought, especially at the later stage of her illness. When I helped her take baths, sweating and smelling the foul odor, and feeling tired, she was often touched and said: “I must have accumulated blessings in my previous life to have such a good daughter-in-law to serve me like this.”
Later, my mother-in-law became incontinent, often at mealtimes. This once happened when everyone was having breakfast, and she stopped eating and didn't say why. I immediately realized what was wrong, but it was too late, as she had already soiled her pants. It was another busy day.
In the past eight years, except for looking after my daughter who was hospitalized for 10 days, I was the only one who gave her a bath, did laundry, and cut her hair.
The whole family praised me. The elder brother-in-law often said: “You are really awesome! I would rather take care of ten children than serve an elderly person.”
Because I cultivated Dafa, my father-in-law once discriminated against me. Even my eldest brother-in-law, who also discriminated against me, thought my father-in-law went too far. He often talked about unreasonable things my father-in-law did to me in front of others.
Once, my husband's elder brother and his wife came home from southern China. At breakfast, my husband saw his sister-in-law was seated and asked me to sit down with her.
Right after I sat down, my father-in-law said to me angrily: “You stand up, your elder brother hasn't come yet, you can't sit down.”
My mother-in-law was also on my father-in-law's side. At that time, my husband was angry and quarreled with them.
If this had happened before, I would also be very angry. But after practicing Dafa, I didn't mind these things. Now faced with my father-in-law's unreasonable accusations, I didn't defend myself and took the initiative to consider him first instead.
Since my mother-in-law passed away, I accompany my father-in-law to take walks in the park every afternoon. When I cared for my father-in-law while he was hospitalized, I was often asked if I was his daughter. My father-in-law said to me: “You can tell others you are my daughter.”
My father-in-law has suffered insomnia for more than 50 years, and he has been taking medicine to sleep. This year he took my advice and started to recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” before he went to bed.
Since I was a child, I had been a person who was sensitive to other people's opinions about me. I had low self-esteem and couldn't stand if others looking down on me. When I became a practitioner, I often encountered tests in this regard in my family or workplace.
At work, someone might point at me, or after a group of people walked by a few of them would turn back and look at me. I became anxious, but it ended up being nothing more than a couple of colleagues saying that I practiced Falun Dafa.
At home, my eldest sister-in-law said: “There are so many people in our family, No one except you practices Falun Dafa.” The implication was that I made them ashamed. My work supervisor once said to my father-in-law that he had a daughter-in-law who practiced Falun Dafa, my father-in-law said to me jokingly: “You are famous!”
Even my husband mocked me by saying I had dealt with the police. In the face of all this, I kept myself calm and composed, which was the best way to exhibit the goodness of Dafa.
Once, while I was waiting at a bus station, I tried to tell a woman the truth about Dafa. She became angry as soon as I spoke and immediately started shouting.
I was unmoved. After I boarded the bus, I saw that she was carrying a lot of things and offered to help her. Although she didn't let me help, my kindness moved her, and her expression softened. I felt very sorry for her afterward and regretted that I couldn't tell her about the goodness of Dafa.
Due to my attachment to showing off, I have always liked to hear pleasant words, which further developed my attachments of zealotry and being self-centered. I even told a lot of lies.
With a rational understanding of the Fa, I became more and more aware of the seriousness of my attachments and tried to gradually eliminate them. In fact, the ultimate root of showing off is selfishness. Once selfishness becomes weaker, the attachment of showing off also becomes weaker.
I can now face difficult situations and look within myself for answers.
Although I have made some improvements in my cultivation, I am still far away from the requirements of Dafa. I must continue to cultivate myself diligently, walk my path well, and help save more sentient beings so I can return to my origin with Master.