(Minghui.org) Greetings Master and fellow practitioners!
I have been cultivating for 22 years. Thanks to Master's arrangement, I was able to join the Sound of Hope media project group. Recalling what I experienced during two years of being a broadcaster, I realized that every tribulation was a big challenge.
During the first test recording, I remember the coordinator pointed out my incorrect pronunciation. She said that I still lacked the proper pronunciations for actual broadcasting. I was shocked. I realized however, that because of my dialect, a problem arises when I speak faster – my flat retroflex sounds and pitches are not up to standard. I asked the chief to give me three days to correct my flat retroflex sounds. Having the correct intonation is a basic requirement for broadcasting. I am used to speaking without clearly pronouncing the Chinese words.
That day, I found a broadcasters’ lecture and kept listening, reading, and correcting the pronunciations. I finally finished the basic lessons for a broadcaster within two days. I was then able to pronounce Chinese words more accurately. On the third day, I passed the recording test, and was able to start my broadcasting job.
Pronouncing words accurately is foremost in broadcasting. Recalling the times when I pronounced words incorrectly, the director is most concerned about this. After listening carefully to the recordings, he will point out the wrong pronunciation on the platform. When I re-record it again, there is the problem of a different voice quality, which requires the director to readjust the voice quality settings for the whole recording.
Whenever there is a broadcast, I dare not relax. To reduce the chance of pronouncing anything wrong, I prepared a notebook, and recorded all the incorrect pronunciations by everyone which were pointed out by the director on the platform every day. I use that to remind myself. Whenever the broadcast scripts are ready, I print them, read them, and look in the dictionary for the correct pronunciation. I then note them on the script. I allow myself to only pronounce a word wrong just once, and then never again. Many thanks to the director who patiently corrected my incorrect pronunciations. Before long, I was mispronouncing fewer words, and I no longer needed to re-record my recordings.
Master stressed many times during his Fa lectures that practitioners who emigrated from China must eliminate the indoctrination they experienced in China. Recalling the time when I first came to Singapore, I noticed that local practitioners speak in a plain and peaceful way. Much to my regret, it is very hard for me to speak and behave like that. I felt that I speak loud, and the tone is stiff, which makes people feel uncomfortable. These problems are especially magnified now that I am involved in broadcasting.
I remember that not long after I worked in broadcasting, the chief said that in order to avoid being opinionated, she went home to let her family listen to my recordings. Once they heard it, they said that this broadcaster came from the “strong country.” This exclamation alarmed me. Given the CCP’s indoctrination, the mainland Chinese accent has an unnatural connotation that resembles a presentation. It gives people a feeling of being powerful and harsh. When people do not feel comfortable listening to it, will they continue listening to broadcasts from that station? I was upset and felt that I no longer knew how to talk. Now, when I listen to the broadcast recordings that I did at that time, I notice a sense of impatience, and the pitch sounds high and unnatural. I felt sorry for the audience.
On the surface, broadcasting is the display of sound and content conveyance. But it also displays one’s cultivation state. Whenever I am hit with bottlenecks and emotional mood swings, it gives me the chance to look within, change, and recognize the cultivation perspective. If I do not put my heart into doing this, and just recite the script once through, which is the fastest way, I know deep down that I did not correct myself.
Master said,
“If you haven't done well, try to improve gradually. It's good that you know you need to focus on it. There is no use in being anxious, and that's an attachment. Don't be anxious and just do what Dafa disciples should do. Look at how others are doing it and follow their lead. Gradually you will blaze your own path, and gradually you will be able to do it in your own way.” (Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005)
I realized that the recording for every piece of news script is actually part of my cultivation process. I realized that what was behind my un-calm tone were my desire for success, instant benefits, and to show off. On the surface, it is a desire to attain a perfect broadcast, but in reality, it is to show off and validate myself. Master’s lectures bring to mind, that desire for instant success and validating oneself are all attachments, and I want to let go of this attitude of seeking perfection. I do not want to make myself become another person or act like another person.
Master said,
“As a result of studying the Fa and cultivating your inner self, you do better and better, and gods give you the wisdom you deserve and give you inspiration so that you can come to realize a lot of things while you study, create better things, improve your technique, and reach beyond.” (Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles)
Master’s words of perfect wisdom enlightened me that we are really lucky to have Dafa guiding us. When I used to study the Fa, I read it quietly. Now, I speak in a calm tone when I study the Fa on the platform with practitioners every day.
A practitioner told me that when we are broadcasting, we must think of the audience. I suddenly realized that when I am doing my broadcast recordings, I am always reading the script, and did not think about listening to what the audience expected. Our appearances originate from our hearts. When we do not have others in our hearts, it will affect our tone during a broadcast, and others can feel it.
During the recording, there are often a variety of disturbances. The simplest method to resolve them is to maintain righteous thoughts. The times when I make many mistakes and am inefficient are when I am in an incorrect state of mind, such as when I’m impatient, or my inner mind is not calm, and so on. If I can maintain my righteous thoughts, my heart will be calm, and no thoughts or negative emotions will be able to affect me.
Master said,
“If you, as a cultivator, only part with things superficially while deep down inside you still stick to something or cling to your own vital interests that you don’t allow to be undermined, I’d say to you that your cultivation is fake! If your own thinking doesn’t change, you cannot advance even one step and are deceiving yourself. Only when you truly improve from within can you make real progress.” (Lecture at the First Conference in North America)
What Master said pointed towards my not truly cultivating, and that I had been holding on to any fundamental attachments.
Upon thinking back on my cultivation state over these years, I realized that I had been in a state of mind that seemed calm on the surface. Whenever I have a different opinion than other practitioners, on the surface I accept their opinion humbly, but in my heart I may be indignant. My tolerance is just like what Master said,
“To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I seldom touch the things within my inner self. I still think that this kind of harmony on the surface is due to my better cultivation state, and the result of my doing well in my cultivation. I realized that I had not truly cultivated, and I had been hiding my stubborn attachments. I also discovered many of my attachments, which I did not see in the past, such as selfishness, not being willing to listen to criticism, seeking benefits, wanting to show off, and so on. There are still more attachments which I covered up. I felt that I was not up to par in my cultivation, and I am a far cry from meeting the cultivation standard that the Fa requires of us.
Last year, I felt self-satisfaction when the Minghui website published an article I wrote. After thinking about it, I realized that things were not like that. If I did not cultivate in Dafa, I would not be able to write even one sentence. The reason why I was able to write that article was because the content originated from Dafa, and it was all due to my enlightenment from Master. Master is helping his disciples become accomplished. What I did is just cultivate, doing my part as a disciple.
When it comes to whether I am truly cultivating myself, I also have another understanding.
Master said,
“The very act of using human thinking to stress who’s right and who’s wrong is in itself wrong. That’s because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others. As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important,...” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
Rereading Master's Fa helps me realize that I had always been wrong in certain areas. I miss many chances to cultivate myself due to my persistence of thinking that I am right.
Late last year I went to tourist sites to clarify the truth about Dafa, promote the Fa, and do the exercises, but ran into problems with fellow practitioners. They were actually small things, and I was just voicing my opinion, and trying to cooperate with everyone to do this, but the opposing party felt uncomfortable listening to my opinion. During that period of time, I felt that this kind of barrier was like a needle stabbing at my heart. When I make reference to Master’s Fa, being right or wrong is not the most important matter. Eliminating the attachment is the truly important task at hand. I suddenly realized that this was not a coincidence, but an arrangement by Master for me to improve in my cultivation.
When I can calm down and look within, I realize that my tone while speaking has been influenced by CCP indoctrination. It makes people think that I am emphasizing that I am correct, and it sounds like I am forcing my opinion on them.
Thinking back about the cultivation sharing with a practitioner, I said that things should be done the way I perceived them, and I tried to share my thoughts, although I was not very sure what to say. However, the more I addressed the issue, the more I was certain that my understanding was very correct, and in the end, it became the correct path for me. As the practitioner did not accept my point of view, a problem between us developed.
I kept looking within for what was holding me back, and finally discovered that when others do not accept my point of view, I feel unhappy. And when I think that I am correct, this unhappiness becomes more apparent. I finally understood that the stubborn attachment that I have been covering up is “validating myself.” If a cultivator is validating himself instead of validating Dafa, is that true cultivation?
These thoughts are too dangerous. It seemed that my cultivation during all those years was going down the drain. It was definitely not a small matter. When we really do not have any elements of selfishness, we should be able to speak calmly. There should be no requirement for others. Therefore, when we have the thought of forcing others to accept our opinions, it is a sign of selfishness.
I kept trying to figure out how to eliminate the barrier between myself and that practitioner. I happened to read an article that said if we look at the shortcomings of practitioners, we will store their sentient beings’ opinions and karma into our own bodies, and that causes our own bodies, which are made up of karma, and the sentient beings’ opinions to increase in size. When the demonic self becomes big, it may cause a barrier between practitioners and us, and that will obstruct our awakening the conscience of sentient beings. On the other hand, if we were to look at the merits of the practitioners, that body which is made up of karma and sentient beings’ opinions will reduce in size. Kindness and a heart of benevolence will prevail, and the barrier between other practitioners and ourselves will disappear.
Master gave me a hint,
“Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
Master's Fa told me that looking at the practitioner’s merits can actually help awaken the conscience of people. From that day onward, I started to think about the merit of practitioners of whom I held an opinion. Some of them are very proficient, some are good at cooperating with everyone, and some made a lot of sacrifices. I was surprised that the knots in my heart were untied so quickly, and I immediately felt relaxed. Thank you Master for helping me eliminate my attachment. I really felt that cultivating myself well is really very important.
Thank you Master for giving me this rare chance to cultivate myself, and validate the universe’s Dafa. Thank you for the divine affinity, and for granting me the opportunity to use my voice for awakening the conscience of the precious mainland Chinese, and fulfill my ancient promise to help Master in rectifying the Fa. As a Dafa practitioner, I will continue to work on eliminating my attachments, and cooperate better with all Dafa practitioners.
(Presented at the 2020 Sound of Hope Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)