(Minghui.org) New music that included a one-hour version of Falun Dafa’s exercise two came out in 2018. I tried to do the one-hour version a couple of times, but I stopped each time because holding my arms up that long was very painful, and it made me feel nauseated. I’m ashamed to say I dismissed the one-hour version as something I didn’t have to do. I used the excuse that I already had a very stable exercise routine, and changing it was too much trouble.
My family members are non-practitioners, I work full-time, I have a good study routine, I am involved in multiple projects to clarify the truth, and in 2018 when the new music came out, I was doing all five exercises daily, so I allowed myself to think that I was already doing enough, and I didn’t need to do more exercises, or more of anything.
Time passed and suddenly one day I accidentally missed doing the exercises one morning. I usually did all four standing exercises before righteous thoughts in the morning, and I did the sitting exercise in the evening. This had been my routine for many years, and I never missed a day. But this particular morning I didn’t hear any of my alarms. I was genuinely shocked. And then within a week, it happened again. It was very strange. I didn’t know why this was happening.
Very quickly the situation got worse. The first couple of times I had missed the exercises unconsciously, but then I started doing it consciously, and within a few weeks I wasn’t able to get up to do the exercises in the morning at all. It was like my willpower had just been completely switched off. My self-discipline no longer seemed to exist. I was bewildered.
I was worried—very worried—but I couldn’t break through it. I talked to a couple of practitioners in the city, but their understandings didn’t help, and I noticed that I had resentment and jealousy. I was putting the blame elsewhere and seeking external help. A third practitioner I talked to agreed that my situation was very worrying, but this didn’t help either. Since talking to fellow practitioners wasn’t helping, I didn’t mention it again and I just kept it to myself.
In Zhuan Falun Master Li says:
“As I said the other day, many people practice qigong with wrong thoughts on their minds. Though they are practicing a standing exercise there with their hands and legs shaking from fatigue, their minds are not at rest.” (Lecture Five, Zhuan Falun)
As I pondered my cultivation state, I had to admit to myself that although I had done the exercises every day for approximately eight years, my consciousness had wandered off many times. It was my habit of daydreaming. How could my exercises have any effect if I was daydreaming through them?
I continued to diligently study the Fa throughout this tribulation, but my righteous thoughts were very weak. I felt that my cultivation state had regressed terribly. This tribulation lasted many months.
Although I was deeply concerned, my heart remained determined to continue cultivating, even when I felt like I was completely failing and couldn’t possibly succeed. I cultivate in delusion and cannot perceive my cultivated side. I just had to keep going with every other aspect of cultivation and not succumb to the fear that I would fail because I wasn’t doing the exercises regularly.
Then, one day I started trying to pay more attention to righteous thoughts. I accessed a sub-category on Minghui to specifically read articles about righteous thoughts. Whenever I could send righteous thoughts in private, I said the formulas out loud to force my mind to concentrate and I tried to picture the word “Mie.” Very quickly my righteous thoughts started getting stronger.
Days later I was looking at my Dafa music downloads and I suddenly decided to try doing the one-hour version of exercise two. Happily, I made it through the whole hour. A few days later I decided to try changing my morning alarms. After getting up to do the standing exercises (including the one-hour version of exercise two) successfully a few times, I felt hopeful again, although I still wasn’t getting up on time every day.
Then one morning a thought came into my mind as if it was put there. I realized that when my alarms go off, if I consciously decide not to get up, I’m choosing the path the evil forces want me to take, which is the same as choosing evil. Another way to look at it is: “If I don’t get out of bed to do my exercises it’s because it is uncomfortable to get up early and it’s uncomfortable to do the exercises. Seeking comfort is an attachment stemming from my demon nature. If I knowingly go along with my demon nature, aren’t I choosing evil over good?” Now when my alarms go off, I remind myself that it is a choice between good and evil that I’m making every morning.
Only after I started writing this sharing did I finally see the bigger picture and realize that my tribulation with the exercises came about because I disregarded the one-hour version of exercise two. I think the most important part of this experience is that I persisted with other aspects of cultivation, such as Fa-study and clarifying the truth, even though I was struggling and felt like I was failing in one aspect of cultivation.
An excerpt from a sharing presented at the National Australia Fahui 2021.