(Minghui.org) After I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998, I provided informational materials about Falun Dafa and the persecution to our local practitioners. Recently, practitioners set up many production centers to produce such materials, which greatly improved our supply. This gave me more time to read the Fa, do the exercises, and talk with people face-to-face.
I admired practitioners who went out every day to talk to people and hand out brochures. I thought, “I have a job. I don’t have time to go out as frequently as other Dafa practitioners.” Still, I can find some time to hand out materials to people face-to-face. However, I always found excuses to avoid going out because I was afraid. I only went out occasionally, and not as frequently as I desired.
Master said,
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
I looked inside to find out why I was still afraid after so many years of cultivation. I realized that I wasn't truly cultivating myself. Although I was busy doing the three things, I paid more attention to the formality of doing things rather than truly cultivating myself in the process. Therefore, I was unable to discard many of my attachments, which kept popping up, especially the fear mentality.
Master said,
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I started reading the Fa more and memorizing the Fa. I read one lecture of the book Zhuan Falun each day and then tried to memorize one or two paragraphs. If I had time, I read more of Zhuan Falun or Master’s other Fa teachings. I made reading the Fa my first priority and read or memorized the teachings whenever I had time. My righteous thoughts gradually grew stronger as I kept reading the Fa, and my fear diminished.
Seeing my desire to truly cultivate, Master arranged opportunities for me to improve. One practitioner in our Fa study group was a school teacher. One day, the teacher told me that the school was about to start a vacation period and asked if I could distribute CDs about Falun Dafa to the students before the break started. I knew Master had arranged this opportunity for me. I made up my mind to do the job well.
On the last day before the vacation period began, I gathered some CDs and went to a street the students would pass when they left the school. The CDs included “We Tell the Future” and the software to break through the communist regime's internet firewall.
Seeing the vehicles and pedestrians coming and going on the busy street, my fear surfaced. I was afraid of the surveillance cameras on the street, afraid of plain-clothes police, afraid of the people seeing me, and afraid that students might not accept my hand outs. I begged Master in my mind, Master, I am still afraid. Please strengthen my resolve.
I tried hard to calm my mind and kept sending righteous thoughts to disintegrate evil interference from other dimensions. I kept thinking, “I am a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. What I am doing is righteous. No evil persecution or interference is allowed.”
I also asked Master for protection so that the evil forces could not see me. Soon, I felt that I was surrounded by a powerful energy field and Master was by my side. My fear disappeared and all I saw were the students walking my way. The vehicles and pedestrians seemed to disappear.
I greeted a boy, handed him a CD, and said, “Hello, this is a copy of software to break through the internet firewall. Once you install it, you can read a lot of real news that you would not be able to see otherwise.” He accepted the CD with a smile. I then walked to a girl and handed her a CD and said, “Hello, this is a copy of ‘We Tell the Future,’ it has very touching true stories.” She gladly accepted the CD. I handed out all the CDs I had brought without any problem.
Master said:
“We really do have some people who have done a great job, who have gone about things in a very natural and poised manner in upscale neighborhoods. And when they’ve spoken with people, they have been quite at ease. Instantly the other party has been delighted, just as if they’d been waiting for you. That really is the case. There has been a great deal of groundwork done in advance. All that’s missing is your carrying things out with righteous thoughts. Yet you haven’t had the righteous thoughts that it takes.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
I felt ashamed because I realized that handing out the materials face-to-face wasn't as difficult as I had thought it was. I had failed to take that step forward because I did not study the Fa well and did not have strong righteous thoughts.
From then on, the schoolteacher would tell me when the school was going on hiatus. I would prepare the materials, go to the school, and hand them out. When I was fearful, I denied it by thinking, “It’s not me who is afraid, and I don’t want the fear. I am a Dafa practitioner and I only follow Master’s arrangements.”
Gradually, I became more and more relaxed and my fear dissipated.
Master said,
“So just put in the effort needed and leave the rest to your teacher. The intent that you have to develop higher energy and make progress will suffice. It will be your teacher that does the real work, and it will be beyond anything you could possibly do.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Master helped me and removed some of my fearful substances. This allowed me to take a step forward and tell people about Falun Dafa and the persecution.
My husband likes to travel. He used to frequently take me to scenic areas. After I started cultivating, I stopped him from arranging such trips using various excuses, for I felt that travel was wasting my cultivation time. Sometimes he felt upset, thinking that I only cared about my cultivation and was being selfish. This situation distressed me. In my mind, I begged Master for help: “Master, please make my husband busy doing other things to free me from traveling with him. Gradually, my husband became busier doing other things and I did not have to travel with him as often.
Later, we bought a new car. He liked to drive around in it and wanted me to go with him. I was reluctant but felt I had no choice.
One day, he asked me to go to a mall in a neighboring city. When we were in the mall, I heard a familiar voice calling my name. Looking in the direction of the voice, I saw a college classmate. I was overjoyed and grabbed her hand as we greeted each other.
She worked in a department of the Chinese Communist Party, and was deeply brainwashed by the propaganda against Falun Dafa. I had talked with her before about Falun Dafa and the persecution. However, she didn't accept what I said. She kept telling me not to do anything [to speak out for Falun Gong]. I thought that I must talk to her again and pass Master’s opportunity for salvation to her.
I told my husband to go ahead and walk around the upper floor since I wanted to chat with my classmate for a while. I then took out two amulets and a CD containing the software to break through the internet firewall. I wished her and her husband a safe life when I gave the items to her. I advised her to read some factual information on the internet. She readily agreed to do so. I then advised her to quit her membership in the Party. I could tell that she was worried; she was afraid that quitting the Party would put her in danger. I asked Master to strengthen me and to disintegrate the evil communist spirit behind her. I then told her why and how to quit the Party. She finally understood and agreed to quit. Just as I finished chatting with her, my husband returned.
Another time, my husband and I went out of town. I wanted to get home early because we had group Fa study that afternoon. Unexpectedly, on the way back, my husband stopped at a health clinic. He wanted the doctor to check his pulse because he had felt uncomfortable for a few days. I didn’t say anything but felt unhappy. I complained in my mind, “Why didn’t you come here before now? It’s almost noon and I have somewhere to be this afternoon.”
While my husband was with the doctor, I sat in the car and saw many young people coming and going. I thought that it must be that Master arranged for me to be here and give information to them. I got out of the car in the scorching sun, walked over to the young people, and handed them the software CDs and the Falun Dafa leaflets. As soon as I got back in the car, my husband came out of the clinic.
Through these two experiences, I came to understand that I should, and can offer salvation to people wherever I go. Master said:
“In other words, human society is one big practice site for the cultivation of my Dafa disciples, and you can cultivate no matter where you are. It just depends on whether you are diligent or not in your cultivation, and that holds as well for those who are doing things as special agents. (Audience laughs) You all can cultivate and save beings. It is just a question of how you align your thinking and what kind of attitude you have toward the Fa.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference”)
Reading this passage of Master’s teachings, I came to understand that as long as I treat myself as a Dafa practitioner at all times, I can do well wherever I am. No matter where I am, I can tell people about Falun Dafa and the persecution and give them the opportunity to receive Master’s salvation. I stopped blaming my husband for interfering with my group Fa study schedule. I came to understand that nothing is accidental. I firmly believe that Master’s arrangements are the best.