(Minghui.org) Dear Father,
It has been a while since I wrote to you. Although we have not lived together much in my lifetime as father and daughter, and it is difficult to say that we know each other very well, I know that you are a man of integrity. I inherited some of your traits. You follow a traditional way of life. Despite your wealth, you live a simple and self-disciplined life. It is also commendable that you do not follow the trends in a society where moral decline and chaos abound.
Dad, if you feel proud that you haven’t struggled with others for profit, then you can also be happy for your descendants—me and your grandson Mingming. We have both carried on that character trait, caring little for profit and not fighting over petty gains. I thank you and Mother for guiding me well so that I became an upright, decent, and content person.
In this letter, I want to talk to you from the bottom of my heart because we haven’t communicated much and you may not understand or agree with some of the choices I have made in my life. I did not do well explaining things to you, I did not describe my experiences or make things clear to you. Even though I am already a middle-aged woman, I still feel like a child when I talk with you. By writing down my thoughts, I might be able to describe things more thoroughly and comprehensively for you.
I was frail and sickly when I was young and was an added burden for you and mother. Particularly when I wet the bed. Many times, Mother woke up in the middle of the night and discovered my bed was wet again. She would get up, change all my bedding, and vent her frustration in the meantime. In the quiet of the night, her voice sounded particularly loud and harsh. I knew I was a burden. I did not know the meaning of life. I even thought of ending it all, but I did not have the courage.
I was bullied a lot by my schoolmates over my poor health. I resented them and also had low self-esteem. I did not care about the future. I don’t know how I passed the college entrance exam. I do not recall how I got married and taught school for 15 years. I just made a living and that was all.
After my son was born, I became very ill. I had insomnia, fatigue, and a low-grade fever. I could not teach anymore. I tried all sorts of treatments but to no avail. I lost the courage to live.
Body purified
A friend of mine lent me a copy of Zhuan Falun and said it might help me. I was skeptical that a book could cure me while medications could not. After reading the book, my body went through a lot of changes in just a few months. I have not been hospitalized since and I no longer need herbal cures.
I went back to teaching six months later. In the past, I could hardly stand for ten minutes and had no energy to discipline the naughty students. But now, not only can I handle the standing and teaching, but I also made my lessons fun and lively.
It has been 22 years since I began practicing Falun Dafa. I am illness-free and that is a fact. Dad, you know that “a drop of water in need, return with a spring indeed.” How can I not be grateful? Zhuan Falun not only purified my body, it also improved my character and answered my questions about life.
Morality elevated
I often felt life was unfair: I had so many health problems and I was bullied and treated unfairly. I resented the world. When I had a vision problem in college, I was miserable. I wanted to get even with society. I began to steal. I pretended to purchase things in the market, but I’d put them in my bag and leave. I stole things I didn’t even need and then threw them away. It was just to get revenge.
This behavior continued until 1993. One day after I purchased something, I stole a piece of cake before I left the store. As I walked away, I suddenly felt a pair of piercing eyes staring at me. I looked up and saw the eyes were fixated on me from the deep blue sky! I panicked. That was the last time I ever stole. I could never forget those eyes. It was terrifying!
Even though I stopped that reprehensible behavior, I was still not healthy mentally. I often wondered why I got so sick after my son was born. I was frustrated and hateful. Only after I read Zhuan Falun did I understand why I had so many ailments and why was I looked down upon. I learned to let go of my resentment and understood how to be a good person. Now, no matter what I encounter, good or bad, I always use the standard of Dafa to evaluate things.
I was fortunate to come across Falun Dafa, which allowed me to find the meaning of life and the path to return to my original self. It’s hard for a good person just to survive these days—how can I not go with the flow? And when faced with all kinds of injustice, I can still follow my conscience.
Dad, you know I used to have a bad temper. When I was mistreated in middle school, I got so furious, I picked up a broomstick and hit those who bullied me. When I was wrongfully accused, I would get hysterical. Even after I became a teacher, I would still lose my temper at the students. Looking back, I am ashamed of myself.
But Falun Dafa changed me. I later worked in a key high school in our area. Competition for job titles and bonuses made relationships among the teachers complicated. But from time to time, I have heard my colleagues praise me, saying that I am one of the few people today who “give without expecting anything in return” and that I am an “endangered species.”
My grade level director is a serious older woman. She often says to me, “You have the best mindset in the entire school. I should learn from you.” The vice-principal was a college classmate. He once asked one of the teachers, “What do you think of my classmate?” She replied, “If every employee behaved like her, it would be so easy for you.” My grade level director commented, “Look at Teacher Xia. She never complains about her job and her students give her the highest remarks.”
Dad, if I did not practice Falun Dafa, I don't believe my colleagues or students would say such things about me.
The students cleaned the teachers' offices, and I never felt bad about it before. Since I began practicing Falun Dafa, I quietly cleaned the desks and mopped the floor before others arrived. One day while I was working, a senior teacher came and joked, “Falun Gong is indeed very powerful. It turned a lazy girl into a diligent one.” In a gathering, a male colleague said, “I respect you Teacher Xia. You are upright and honorable. I like to joke around with others, but I dare not in front of you.”
Acknowledged and Appreciated
My students told me that I was different from other teachers and they respected me. One of the teachers’ daughters was in my class. That teacher said to me, “You are the only one whose words my daughter will take to heart. When parents give their children to you, they will be worry-free.” The title page of the notebook my student gave me reads, “I feel fortunate that a noble soul came to me and showed me the way when I was lost in life. Teacher, I will always remember you!”
A student was shocked to learn that the “Tiananmen Self Immolation” was staged and Falun Dafa was not at all what that incident portrayed. After that, he solemnly said to me, “Teacher, as long you verify the information, I will believe it.”
Dad, these words are the greatest reward for me as a teacher. And these rewards came after I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1999.
My colleagues praise me and my students respect me. And I, for one, am grateful to Master Li and grateful to Falun Dafa! Without the power of my faith in Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, I would just go with the flow in today’s chaotic world, and it would be difficult to remain virtuous, because it takes courage to go against the tide.
I used to be quite attached to profits and personal benefits. I remember when I attended a research meeting and was told to keep track of my travel expenses, my colleagues claimed all kinds of expenses, and so did I. Since taking up Dafa, I no longer do this, because I understand that I will lose virtue if I do.
At the beginning of 2000, our school was allotting housing for the last time. According to the list, it was supposed be my turn. But a colleague took advantage of his good relationship with the principal and got the house. Others thought it wasn’t fair and encouraged me to fight for it. I did not. The principal knew what he had done was unfair and was a little embarrassed to see me.
Surprisingly, six months later, another apartment became available. The principal told me to come straight to his office to fill out the application form for the new housing. All of my colleagues were amazed. The size and the location of this apartment were better than any others in the past!
This incident made many teachers reflect—I did not fight, but things turned out the best for me in the end anyway. If I hadn't practiced Falun Dafa, I would have fought, just like others, and my life would be bitter and tiring, and I would never be so carefree.
Dad, everyone has different pursuits and values and ambitions. Today, I am proud to strive hard in the pursuit of justice and conscience. My husband, who joined the CCP in college, used to believe in the Communist Party with blind faith. Because of my belief, he endured several years of internal struggle (including wanting a divorce) and we had fights and even cold wars over it. He even kicked his beloved son in the rear for saying “evolution is wrong” and then left us in a rage. That was the year Mingming was nine.
When I was arrested and taken to the police station in 2008, they called my husband. He walked in with a bloody knee. He didn’t even know how it happened. Watching him try to stay calm and submissive in front of the police, I was both heartbroken and sad. As a vice-president of a large corporation, he gave people the impression that he was calm, cool, and collected at all times, but now, his fear and timidity betrayed him through his eyes. I thought I would rather face all of this myself.
He chose not to leave me in the end. When I asked him why, he said, “I would never be able to find someone as good as you ever again.” Now, he is totally awakened after learning the truth. He quit the CCP, and supports me financially and spiritually. He knows that what I am doing is right. He is also blessed by supporting me.
Although we are not well off, and for various reasons we three are not yet reunited, we trust each other, and, despite our conflicts, we understand and respect each other. Mingming is physically and mentally healthy, respects his parents, and is kind to others. Most of the older people who meet him like and approve of him. I am not the one who should claim the credit. It was the Buddha light that harmonized our family. Without Falun Dafa, I was struggling to try to be a good person—what did I have to teach my child?
Dad, please believe that I will never disgrace you. There is open-mindedness that has been passed down from generation to generation in our family, don’t you think? That will be a proud memory.
Currently, many people do not understand what my fellow practitioners and I are doing. They call us stupid and say we have nothing better to do, including some loved ones who speak ill of us. But I know it is not that they are not kind. It is because, after decades of totalitarian suppression, they are accustomed to bowing their heads in obedience to have even a temporary sense of security.
After experiencing firsthand what happened to my relatives, starting with my grandparents, I can understand your desire to simply live a peaceful life. Mother also wanted me to leave China so she wouldn't have to worry herself sick about me. I understand, I really do, what you have been through.
Dad, you may not know that I was arrested and taken to a detention center for talking about Falun Dafa to two middle school students. Other family members did not tell you because they were worried about your health. That is why they hoped that I would leave China.
But even in the detention center, I gained sympathy and admiration for my integrity and kindness. One guard once quietly asked me when nobody was around, “Do you hate me?”
When I said I didn’t, he asked if I would still practice Falun Gong after I was released.
Of course I said, “Yes.”
He lowered his head and said quietly, “Just be careful out there. Take care of yourself.” He looked at me for a few seconds and bid me goodbye. I was happy for his kindness.
One elder woman was there because she stole metal. She said, “We are here because we have done something bad, but you are wrongfully accused. You are not like us.” One girl who was addicted to drugs asked me many questions. In the end, she sighed, “How I wish you were my mother. Then I wouldn't be here today.” She wanted to look for Dafa books when she was released.
Please don't feel ashamed because I was detained by the CCP. Instead, you should feel proud that your daughter did not bow down to the oppressive powers that be. She carried on in a dignified manner, firm and strong, kind and caring.
The courage of a benevolent person is not the absence of fear, but the ability to stand firm despite intense pressure; to remain calmly rational in the face of violence; to keep moving forward while overcoming fear. This kind of heart and mind after assimilating to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance will naturally influence the world. This is exactly what we are practicing.
In Chinese history, people were either obedient or rebellious. But the Falun Dafa practitioners are an exception to the rule. They neither bow down to a powerful regime, nor do we repay evil with evil, because we have the universal principles in our hearts.
Dear Father, you are also an honest person. Please believe that no cloud will cover the sky forever. Spring will always come. You can be a beam of light to illuminate the darkness, or you can open your eyes to welcome the beam of light. All you need to do is to open your eyes.
Dad, I miss my hometown, and I miss the quiet flowing Jialing River and our kindhearted neighbors. I am also grateful to my homeland and my parents who raised me. I am proud to be Chinese, because my bloodline is infused with the traits of traditional Chinese culture: sincerity, kindness, and goodwill. In the near future, when our virtuous nation, which has survived all the vicissitudes, is once again glorious, when the truth is revealed and people return to the right path, you will be proud to have me! Your daughter is one of the hundreds of millions of kind people who worked hard for this day!
You can even feel honored, because we have done something that many Chinese with a conscience wanted to do but failed. There have been no violent words or deeds, only peace and kindness. This would not have been possible without the perseverance of faith and the protection of heaven. We do not want to be heroes, but the power of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance makes us compassionate and fearless, with bright and open hearts.
The dawn of the new epoch belongs to good and kind people!
Dad, please act out of your integrity and wisdom to support justice and me silently in your heart! The Divine will bless you! May you and Mother take care of yourselves!
Your Daughter
March 2021