(Minghui.org) I began Falun Dafa cultivation practice about 25 years ago, when I was a young primary school student. I was quite diligent while in school, but after graduating I gradually slacked off and became more and more like an everyday person. I even found excuses for my laziness in cultivating myself in the Fa.
After reading “Teachings From a Tour of North America” by the founder of Falun Dafa, I felt quite relieved. I came away with the thought that Master Li Hongzhi would not abandon those who had done awful things, not to mention students like me who were just not very diligent. I was then no longer afraid. However, I still wasn’t cultivating diligently.
Although I continued to perform the five Falun Dafa exercises, I studied the Fa very little, only one or two paragraphs per day. I read the Fa as if I were fulfilling a task, and tried to finish the study quickly so as to play afterward. I often fell asleep during meditation. I also became addicted to computer games and pornography on the Internet. I gradually showed serious illness karma symptoms, and by the time I was 30 years old my physical status was worse than a 60-year-old.
I used to be very healthy. I never needed to wear heavy, insulated clothes in the extremely cold weather of Northern China, and I never caught colds. My colleagues used to joke with me, saying that they also wanted to learn Dafa so that they could save money on winter clothes. I told them I had reached such a state of health by cultivating for over 20 years and that their intention to cultivate was not a correct one, so it wouldn’t work. I feel very regretful now when I recall this exchange with my colleagues. If I were more diligent at that time I could have guided more people to learn Dafa. This memory also made me determined to overcome the demon of illness, because I knew that everyday people were watching practitioners, and if I were to die it would defame Dafa. In this case, those who knew I became healthy because of cultivating Falun Dafa would be very much affected.
I hadn’t been determined to quit playing computer games until then. I deleted all the games on my computer. As for the attachment of lust, although I couldn’t quit immediately, and still thought about it occasionally, I began trying my best to negate it.
Before, I played games for a few hours every day; now I use all available time to study the Fa. I think that although I couldn’t let go of those bad things immediately, if I studied the Fa more, my mind would improve, and accordingly the bad things would become less. Unfortunately I understood this too late, and I missed many opportunities to save people.
The most important thing that I have understood as a result of this serious lesson is that we must value Fa study, and must study the Fa as much as possible! Even if we feel hopeless about reaching consummation, we should still study the Fa more.
“Having heard the Dao in the morning, one can die in the evening.” (“Melt Into the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Even when we might really be facing death, we should try to have the Fa upmost in our minds.
Unknowingly, my health was eventually restored! I never thought I could recover and not be abandoned by Master! I will cultivate diligently from now on, and use my time well. Master has prolonged the Fa-rectification again and again; wasn’t it just to wait for those disciples who, like me, are not diligent?
Master said,
“My hope is that Dafa disciples can all be like how they were with each other in the old times, and as diligent as before when you first obtained the Fa. There used to be a Buddhist saying, the idea of which was: If you can be like you have just begun, all the way from the beginning to the end, you will surely achieve Consummation.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
“That is why Fa-study is still the most, most important thing—it is the fundamental guarantee for all that you are to do. If you cannot keep up in Fa-study, then there is no hope.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
I hope that all fellow practitioners who are in a situation similar to mine will take my lesson as a warning!