(Minghui.org) For a long time, I felt my body was surrounded by a black substance, which was hard to break through. Only recently have I realized that I was taking a detour in my cultivation by following people instead of the Fa. I hope that my sharing can help fellow practitioners who may find themselves in a similar situation.
What constitutes a good person? I used to think someone is good if they were capable, popular, had little conflicts with others, and loved doing good deeds.
As a result of this notion, I would form my opinion on a person based on their ability and try to seek other people’s recognition. In other words, I was following the standard of being good or bad in society, which is contrary to what the Fa requires of us.
In China, education gears people toward modern trends. From their perspective, many practitioners aren’t considered good. Some practitioners try to conform to this new “good” and think that adopting everyday people’s notions and mindset is cultivation.
I went through this myself. As I wasn’t too good at interacting with everyday people and couldn’t relate to their perspectives, I took it upon myself to work on changing this. People around me, including practitioners, thought I was becoming better, when in fact I was far worse.
After all, I was conforming to everyday people instead of Dafa principles. My supposed naivety and not-witty behavior in the eyes of non-practitioners was in fact because I didn’t have many attachments to worldly things. By trying to please others, I added upon myself more attachments, which I now need to work hard to get rid of.
I enjoyed spending time with fellow practitioners whom I thought cultivated well, and eventually formed a small circle. As a result, I had isolated myself from a better cultivation environment.
But mixing with like-minded individuals will make one narrow-minded. Since I couldn’t enlighten on the Fa and hardly studied the Fa, I would only follow what practitioners said. The more I listened to others, the less I studied the Fa. It finally got to the extent that I couldn’t remember any Fa lectures by Master; I was in fact not cultivating.
Learning from fellow practitioners isn’t necessarily bad. However, whether we think a fellow practitioner is good or bad is often determined by one’s own perception and evaluations. In the past, I’d taken practitioners’ shortcomings as something good to learn from, only to find later on that it had caused much interference to my own cultivation. We should just do as the Fa says, rather than following others.
As I grew up, my mother decided what was good or bad for me, and all my ideas would reflect this. I realized this after experiencing a great tribulation that left me unable to recall the Fa. All that came to mind was words of my mother and fellow practitioners. I tried to remember Master’s words, but I couldn’t remember anything that Master said.
By studying the Fa hard, I got a bit better but still couldn’t get out of the tribulation with many doubts in my mind. Finally, Master enlightened me: just like a scientist, new discoveries and inventions can’t come forward without thinking outside of the box. Likewise, my mother enclosed me in a bubble such that I could not change myself for a long time. Even when I’d catch myself in this situation, I would still follow her way and find it hard to truly change myself.
I was very afraid of having the attachments of jealousy and showing off. It made me overly cautious of these attachments in everything. But this only caused my attachments and fear to grow. With ideas like “you will be persecuted if you don’t do well” in my mind, the more I strove to do well, the worse I became. I was in an anxious state every day. After spotting it as an attachment, I calmed down and told myself not to think about anything. I simply did my best, and it worked out.
It took me a long time to learn that I must take the Fa, not fellow practitioners, as my teacher. This was a big realization for me. I hope that my sharing is helpful to fellow practitioners. Please correct me if there is anything wrong.
Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s current understanding meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)