(Minghui.org) According to ancient Chinese wisdom, joining two pieces of a broken mirror represents remarriage. After the last Chinese New Year holiday, I went home for a big event: to remarry my ex-wife. This was not a simple matter. Some may ask: marriages and remarriages happen every day, what’s the difference?
Let’s look at this in detail. I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 20 years. After I was arrested by agents of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) in 2001, my wife divorced me. When I was released, I left town for a job. I then returned to my hometown because my second elder sister was in poor health. She felt she was terminally ill and wanted to see me. After I got to my sister’s home, a few relatives arrived and so did my ex-wife.
Previously, my ex-wife had called me to ask about selling the house. I said: “We’ve been divorced for 20 years, and there is no longer a property rights issue. You don’t need to ask me. You can do whatever you want.” She replied: “I want to buy a smaller home that will be big enough for me. You can live there as well when you move back.” I thought to myself: What does she mean? Is she trying to comfort me because I haven’t had a home for all these years? So I told her not to worry as I was used to being alone.
I was arrested and held in a detention center in 2001. One form of torture I was subjected to was starvation. One day, an officer called my name and said that my wife had come to see me. I was happy, thinking she would deposit some money for me or bring me some instant noodles. But to my surprise, she brought divorce papers, which made me feel bitter. I told her: “I don’t want to divorce, but since you don’t love me and want to get divorced, I respect your choice and will sign the papers.”
In a most painful and difficult time, she had left me to suffer alone. After I was released from the detention center, other practitioners and my relatives tried to pursuade me to remarry her. I suggested this to her on four occasions, but she ignored me. She resented me for not being financially well off.
My ex-wife had a bad temper. When she was younger, she often hit and scolded me. After the divorce, she did many bad things, ruined her health, and in 2009, she developed diabetes. While taking insulin, she knew that practicing Falun Dafa could cure her disease, but she was not diligent in cultivation, so her health didn’t improve. Her behavior damaged the reputation of practitioners and interfered with the ability of her relatives and friends to understand the truth about Dafa.
When I saw her again 20 years later, however, she wanted to remarry. She abandoned me when I was in trouble and now she was in trouble and wanted to get married. Some family members objected to this and asked me what I thought about her request.
I said that I had agreed to remarry her for several reasons.
First, if I were an ordinary person, I would not accept the trouble of taking care of a person who was ill. Even though I was not rich, I was not short of money, so it would not be difficult for me to find a younger woman to marry. For ordinary people, this was a normal thing to do, but I wasn’t looking for a wife.
Years ago, when I was in a difficult situation, she left me, and I suffered hardships. Now, it was a difficult time for her, and she wanted to remarry. I agreed to continue this relationship because I wanted to accord with the requirements of a true cultivating Dafa disciple.
I was also moved by her choosing to return to cultivation practice and have faith in Master Li Hongzhi's teachings. I thought that although she had slacked off in cultivation, her deep-rooted belief in Dafa was not broken. There was still hope for her. When one of Master’s disciples is in distress, shouldn’t other practitioners help? Absolutely. As a fellow practitioner, I would help her in terms of overall improvement in cultivation, finances, etc. Being husband and wife means endless devotion for the rest of one’s life. Considering how many years she cooked for me, washed my smelly socks, and so on, I should repay her.
I knew that I live by Dafa's standards and requirements; Master teaches us to be good people. In order to validate that Dafa is good, and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good, I should remarry her. When I told our family my motivations for the remarriage, they were moved to tears.
During that period of time, my wife’s blood sugar bounced between high and low, and her vision became blurred. If she became hypoglycemic, it could be life-threatening and require hospitalization. Her family was busy and unable to take care of her. My daughter told me: “Dad, you should look after her.” So I went to help her.
In those days, I took good care of her and encouraged her in many ways. I knew that her ability to forebear was low. In order to encourage her to cultivate diligently, I supported her in an understanding, tolerant, and rational way, without accusations or finding fault. I communicated with her from the Fa principles, explained the cause and effect of sickness karma, and encouraged her to build up her confidence. I studied the Fa, sent righteous thoughts, and practiced the exercises while she was in the hospital.
My wife changed a lot. After returning home, she insisted on studying the Fa and practicing the exercises, which was something she had not done for a long time. She laughed at herself and said: “I wonder if I will be able to persevere after you leave?” I encouraged her: “Don’t be afraid, as long as you treat yourself as a Dafa disciple, you can cultivate well. If you are able to go to work, then go. If you aren’t, come to my place, and I will take care of you.”
The night before she was discharged from the hospital, she confided to me: “I left you when you were in a difficult time, and now I am in a difficult time. You remarried me when you are doing well, both economically and with cultivation. I hope you don’t regret it.” I said: “The relationship between husband and wife is not maintained by sentimentality, but by gratitude. You have seen me being meticulous and loving to you recently. My intention was to validate Dafa and let you see the gratitude that should exist between a husband and wife, as well the traditional way of how to treat one another with courtesy.
“I would also like to thank you for giving me this opportunity to validate Dafa. You are Master’s disciple, and you are also cultivating, but you are not doing well, and you cannot let go of your attachment to illness. As a fellow disciple, I want to help you through the ordeal, to demonstrate my xinxing improvement, show the beauty of Dafa through you, and to change the view your relatives have of Dafa.” She nodded in agreement.
Since we got married, my wife has changed a lot through continuous cultivation improvement. Her illness symptoms are gone, and her blood sugar is stable.
Master said:
“Once you upgrade your xinxing, your body will undergo a great change. Upon xinxing improvement, the matter in your body is guaranteed to transform.” (Lecture one in Zhuan Falun)
Through this incident, I also experienced some noticeable physical changes. My niece exclaimed: “My uncle is so energetic and handsome since he came back!” My daughter said: “Dad, why do you look younger?”
My wife had a bad temper, which was known among her relatives and friends. When people around us saw how well I took care of her, they praised the miraculous effect of Dafa in elevating’s a person’s moral standard. My son-in-law is a government employee. He was poisoned by the CCP’s lies and previously had hostility toward Dafa. Not only did I explain the truth to him, I conducted myself well so that he could discern the CCP’s false claims about Falun Dafa. When I told him about the “Tiananmen Self-immolation,” he was surprised: “What? You people didn’t try to kill yourselves?” I said: “Of course not.” My son-in-law’s attitude changed a lot after learning the truth.
My father-in-law is a retired government official. He used to hate Dafa, looked down on our family, and said some unpleasant things that hurt us. He is now almost 80. Recently, he patted my shoulder and took my hand and said: “I used to say things that were hurtful, please help me apologize to your relatives. I hope they can forgive me.” I was moved. It was not easy for a person who was indoctrinated by CCP culture and a lifetime of prestige to apologize.
I realize that if I cultivate myself well, things change in a positive direction. It seemed like a simple act of remarrying my wife, but in just a few days, the physical and mental changes in both of us validated the wonder of Dafa to our entire family.
Please rest assured Master, I did what I needed to do and will do better in the future. Thank you Master, thank you fellow practitioners.