(Minghui.org) My father-in-law was the first person in our family who began to practice Falun Dafa. When my parents got sick in 1998, my father-in-law taught me the Falun Dafa exercises, so that I could teach my parents.
Amazingly, my parents’ diabetes and blood clots were gone after they began to practice Falun Dafa, also called Falun Gong. They spread the news, which helped many people get interested in the practice. My home became a group exercise site for over 40 people at its peak time.
However, Jiang Zemin, former head of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), launched the persecution of Falun Gong on July 20, 1999. My parents were too afraid to continue practicing. Their old diseases recurred, and they eventually passed away. Only five people continued to come to my home for Fa study and exercises.
A fellow practitioner of mine went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong. After she was arrested and sent back, I was implicated and detained for 15 days. My cultivation environment suffered. No language can describe the hardship I suffered due to the persecution. Although I couldn’t go to Beijing, I spread information about the benefits of Falun Dafa using Post-it notes and chalk throughout my area.
Both my 34-year-old son and 20-year-old daughter were born with cerebral palsy and cataracts. I take care of them. I also did the farming and operated a convenience store. Since I’m a perfectionist, I have to get up early to prepare for the daily routines. Though tired, I’m happy to see my children do the Falun Dafa exercises and listen to recordings of Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) giving lectures. Seeing them assimilate to the Fa makes my hard work worthwhile.
My husband works as a contractor in another town. Rumors about his affairs started 15 years ago. A friend eventually told me in person that my husband was with another woman. He was always on the phone when he was home. One time, I heard him say on the phone that I was asleep already. Many things demonstrated what I didn’t want to admit – he was having an affair.
I have never complained about years of hard work at home, in the field, or in the store, but I reached the limit of my resentment against my husband this time, and said hurtful words to him. One time, I frantically rode my motorcycle to a bridge and cried hysterically.
I forgot I was a Falun Dafa practitioner at that moment. Some fellow practitioners tried to help me, but my resentment was so enormous that I couldn’t listen to their words. One time, I knelt down in front of Master’s picture, asking, “What shall I do?” The persecution had cut my cultivation environment off and for years I wasn’t in a good state of cultivation.
Compassionate Master didn’t give up on his disappointing disciple. Master told me in a voice as benevolent as a father, “Forbearance! Forbearance!” Big golden words appeared in front of my eyes, “Eternal Prosperity!” I saw Dafa practitioners fly to a golden heavenly gate. I wanted to join them, but Master told me loudly, “Your xinxing hasn’t reached this level!”
Master has recently enlightened me with another vision. I was standing on a cliff and saw some people struggling in the mud below the cliff. Some fellow practitioners tried to help me. A voice told me that I would be gone if I fell off. Later, I told a fellow practitioner what I had seen. She said that Master had warned me with the vision not to fall into the abyss of misery. Master must have sent my fellow practitioners to help me correct myself and make improvements in my cultivation.
Reflecting upon myself, I have to admit that I have wasted my time and haven’t cultivated myself solidly. It’s disappointing to Master, who wants to treat me compassionately.
I have made up my mind to let go of my resentment against my husband. I’m a cultivator and will change my notions. I will treat my husband kindly and become a genuine cultivator by following Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I would like to clean up the stains on my cultivation and closely follow Master’s teachings to return to my true origin.