(Minghui.org) For many years, sleepiness interfered with my cultivation. I read the teachings but learned nothing. I did the exercises, but did not feel any difference. My righteous thoughts were ineffective. I did not realize how bad my situation was until one day I saw a video of myself meditating. With other practitioners’ help and my own diligence, I conquered this demon.
I was reading the Fa with another practitioner one afternoon. We began feeling tired so we decided to do the exercises. Wondering if I did the exercise movements correctly, I recorded myself. What I saw astonished me: while the practitioner sitting next to me meditated, I fell asleep after 15 minutes. I was only slightly tired, but not to the point of dozing off.
Why? I only felt a little sleepy, not tired enough to fall asleep! When I did the exercises by myself, my head often felt fuzzy and my eyelids heavy. The background music sounded far away. I wondered how I looked when I meditated alone.
Master said:
“However, you should not fall asleep or lose consciousness, as in that case good things might be practiced by someone else.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
No wonder after so many years of cultivation, I still felt tired and dizzy. It was hard for me to get anything done. I was eager for a breakthrough, but unable to do so. It was as if there were an invisible force holding me back.
I attempted to join the group morning exercises a few times, but I gave up because I was too tired to continue. This interference prevented me from learning the Fa and increasing the gong in my body when I did the exercises or sent righteous thoughts. As a result, I could not do the three things well. I was stuck in this incorrect state for a long time.
The next day, I shared about my problem with another practitioner. I asked her to help me send forth righteous thoughts. Afterwards, she told me, “Your dimension is not clean.” Upon hearing this, I got more anxious. I want to improve myself, but how?
A thought immediately came to mind: “WeChat.”
Yes! Master gave me a hint, it was WeChat. I deleted WeChat and the shopping app right away. I live alone and my husband and daughter worry about me, so they want to hear from me every day. Talking through WeChat is free so we used it. I even warned myself not get addicted to it. My daughter sent me videos of my grandson. The more I watched, the more I enjoyed looking at my grandson’s cute face. I watched those videos several times a day. If there were no new videos, I felt disappointed. I realized that my sentimental attachment to my family was being exploited.
I also liked shopping online. To get a better deal, it could take me two hours comparing prices between vendors. As the time I spent talking to my family got longer, many of my human attachments got expanded. I sank in deep and could not get out. I wasted precious time that Master extended for the sake of our cultivation.
Furthermore, I had a weak main consciousness. Sometimes I acted upon my thought karma because I could not see my true self. I sought comfort and undermined the importance of sending righteous thoughts. I was walking on the path the old forces arranged. I can endure hardship in life, then why can’t I endure discomfort in cultivation? I know Dafa is precious, and that I have enormous responsibilities. However, without a strong main consciousness, I was controlled by my thought karma.
I changed my mindset and firmly reminded myself that I am an enlightened being in the new universe, that I am not under the control of the three realms. I sent forth the righteous thought: the sleepiness is not the true me; I do not want it; I refuse the old forces’ arrangements.
With a calm heart, I talked to the lives in my dimension and those whom I’d harmed before: The Fa is being rectified and reorganized in the universe; the compassionate Creator is saving sentient beings. Master decides the fate of each life by looking at its attitude toward Dafa; it has to make its own choice. All the lives in my dimensions, you are also here for the Fa and never mind our past history. I hope you treasure this opportunity, and assimilate to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, then you will have a bright future. Let’s immerse ourselves in Dafa!
I recited, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I memorized some of Master’s teachings and lengthened the time I sent righteous thoughts. The next day, I was able to easily get up at three o’clock in the morning and do the exercises. I no longer felt tired. On the third day, I sent righteous thoughts for five hours. The sleepiness demon was destroyed. I was able to absorb the Fa when I read.
I told another practitioner about this. She urged me to write about my experience. I was embarrassed that I was only recently able to get up early in the morning to do the exercises. I realized that I was afraid of losing face. I must write about it to fully expose the interference so it can be eliminated. I completed the first draft that evening.
That night, I had a dream. A strong dark force arrived. I lost my balance, as if I was about to be knocked into the air. Something pressed into my head. Immediately, I felt sick and out of breath. I begged Master for help, then my surroundings changed. My head did not fully clear up until after I finished the morning exercises. I realized that writing about what I experienced was the right thing to do. But, this probably provoked the evil in other dimensions. They were fighting for their lives. They must be exposed and eliminated.
Thank you, Master! Master helped me every step of the way. He never gave up on me even when I was not doing well. The only way to repay Master’s compassion is to be diligent in my cultivation.
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Category: Improving Oneself
