(Minghui.org) After exchanging thoughts with other practitioners, I realized that as long as we are able to look for our own shortcomings when things go wrong and measure ourselves with the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], we will experience fewer detours in the family environment. The practitioners who do this are able to treat everything seriously and always remember that they are cultivators and should not argue about who is “right or wrong.” They remind themselves that we should not blame others for anything and need to look inward unconditionally. Their cultivation environments will be relatively relaxed and basically nothing interferes with them.

On the contrary, if we have human notions when we encounter conflicts or things that don’t go well, we may blame and grumble about others that they did not do this or that, or something should not be done a certain way. Some practitioners also experience a lot of difficulties in disciplining their children.

Master Li does not ask us to cultivate in temples, so the family environment offers us many cultivation opportunities. Strangers cannot expose our more subtle attachments and help us cultivate. Only our family helps expose them.

Master said, 

“Do you really not understand that those unpleasant things are helping you to cultivate, remove your human thoughts, and get rid of your attachments? Didn’t the course of your life change into that of a cultivator the day you took up cultivation? Isn’t it true that nothing you come across is by chance? Aren’t you traveling the path to divinity?” (“To the European Fa Conference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)

It was only recently that I truly realized how difficult it was to cultivate myself in my family. When I interacted with other practitioners, I always found their “shortcomings” and pointed them out. I told them how to practice, how to identify and eliminate their attachments, and how to talk kindly to family members, etc. 

As soon as I returned home, however, I behaved like an ordinary person. I said and did whatever I wanted. I seemed to forget I was a practitioner and complained about my husband. I even wanted to leave this “complicated environment.” I thought of ways to punish my husband. What a strong competitive attachment! I sometimes knew I was wrong, but I just didn’t want to apologize or say I’m sorry. I felt that if I admitted I was wrong, I lost. If I apologized, he might get even more “greedy.”

Why didn’t I look inward? Did I really do the right thing? Did I listen to Master’s words? If I always used human notions to solve problems, wasn’t I following the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP’s) culture and mindset?

As I continued to read the Fa, I gradually understood what Master meant when he asked us to look inward. I was reluctant at the beginning, but I slowly tried to examine myself during conflicts. As I continued looking inward, I found it was not that hard.

I realize that it is very important to improve myself little by little in the family environment, even though the process is sometimes painful. If I don’t, however, it’s very difficult to remove the bad things I have accumulated lifetime after lifetime. If I can’t eliminate even small attachments, they will gradually form larger substances, and, over time, become even bigger and finally form a big hurdle (manifesting as either sickness karma or family tribulations).

Some practitioners seem to be cultivating well, and they don’t fall behind in doing the three things. But when they’re with their families or close friends, they stop cultivating their xinxing. They argue about who is right or wrong, or they indulge their children. They are swimming in emotion but they don’t think their behavior is wrong. If they continue failing to pass xinxing tests, they may experience some minor health issues. If they hold onto their human notions, their health issues may become so serious that there seems to be no way out. They then go to a doctor or hospital. The old forces will take advantage of their loophole, and the practitioners may even die. There are too many lessons about this.

I hope that those practitioners who are experiencing tribulations can remember that their family members are a huge part of your cultivation. The most “annoying” family member may be the one who is helping you eliminate your human notions, as well as the one that most needs your compassion. We must identify the problem in the early stages, study the Fa more, understand what Master is trying to teach us, eliminate our attachments, and not be exploited by the old forces!