(Minghui.org) I am a 16-year-old Falun Dafa practitioner. I would like to share my cultivation experiences as a high school freshman.
Everyone in my family practices Falun Dafa, so my cultivation environment has always been very good. From the time I was little, my mother and grandmother urged me to study the Fa more, so I would not fall behind in cultivation. But I was influenced by society’s trends and wanted to enjoy life, so I was not diligent and I did not fulfill my responsibilities as a young Dafa disciple. It wasn’t until recently that I truly realized that compassionate Master has never given up on me and has always been taking care of me.
Dafa has always given me wisdom. I usually got good grades at school, and I was outstanding in the liberal arts. But I was not great at math or science, and this lowered my overall grade point average. Before the high school entrance exam, given my projected scores at the time, getting into a good high school did not seem likely. I was very worried. I reviewed math and science all day and night and hardly slept.
My mother told me that studying the Fa was the most important thing and that I should let go of my attachments. So I began to study the Fa more and tried to put down my pursuit of achievements, fame, and fortune. When I picked up the Dafa book, my mind became calm, and I felt very peaceful. As I was searching for my score online after the high school entrance exam, I remained calm.
As it turned out, I scored exactly what I needed to be admitted to a good high school. My math and science scores were the highest I’d ever made, over 30 points higher than my last mock exam. I never could have imagined that, given my math and science abilities, I could have done so well.
In addition, the high school I would be admitted to did not allow living on campus. I knew this was Master’s compassionate arrangement for me to go home and study the Fa every day. If I lived on campus, I would not have such an environment.
I was faced with a new cultivation test just as school started. The school organized all the students to sign an “anti-cult agreement” online. When I opened it, I saw that Falun Dafa was the first group on the list. I was very sad that such a great practice was being attacked and that all the students had to agree that it was bad.
When I went home and talked about this with my mother, she asked me what I was going to do. I said that I would not sign it, even if that meant quitting school. But deep inside, I was afraid that the teachers would try to pressure me to sign. Master saw my determination, and, even though I was the only one in the class who didn’t sign, the teacher did not question it.
School ended very late every day, and there was a lot of homework. I slacked off on studying the Fa, and my xinxing declined a lot as a result. I also couldn’t let go of my obsession with my phone. I was not fully prepared for the midterm exam and so I did not rank in the top 10 in my class.
I began to study harder after that, and I did very well on the final exam. Right after the finals, the students were divided into liberal arts focused classes and math-science focused classes, both of which had advanced and ordinary classes. Since I did well on the final exam, I fully expected to be in the advanced classes. But then I learned that the school had been in a hurry to place students and could not wait for the final exam results, so it made the decisions based on the midterm scores. As a result, I fell short and didn’t make it into the advanced classes. The person in my class who ranked just above me on the midterms made it into an advanced class, while I ended up in an ordinary liberal arts class. I was very upset.
In my new class, my grades ranked second. But because it was not an advanced class, most of the students’ grades were very average. Not many students wanted to answer questions in class, and some even slept in math class. The atmosphere seemed to be nothing but chaotic to me.
If the decision had been based on the final exams, I scored 20 points higher than the cutoff for the advanced classes. My mind was not at ease and I couldn’t sleep at night. I was full of resentment. I always wondered why I’d been put into such a poor class and was frustrated every day.
Distracted by these external factors and the desire for fame and fortune, I began to think about many ordinary people’s things. For example, I thought about not being able to catch up with the others, about how I would do badly on the college entrance exam, which would in turn ruin my future. My reputation was damaged, and my heart was moved by the desire for fame and fortune. During this period, Fei Tian College was enrolling students. I had been learning the pipa since I was a child, so I wanted to go to Fei Tian and get out of this bad environment. Perhaps due to my impure mentality as well as other reasons, I didn’t get admitted. I was down and depressed.
Compassionate Master saw that I could not enlighten and gave me an opportunity to improve. My aunt, who is a diligent practitioner and someone I respect and like a lot, came to visit us and brought me a lot of cultivation materials. She shared with me from the Fa’s perspective, advised me to let go of my attachments, urged me to be diligent, and said she would be waiting to see how I progressed in my cultivation. She brought me a bookcase for the Dafa books and put it next to my bed, which made it very convenient for me to read and study the Fa. Inspired by my aunt, I started reading and studying the Fa again.
Once, while I was studying the Fa, a sentence from Lecture Given at the Conference in Sydney went straight to my heart: “... getting things naturally without trying to get them.” I think it was Master who was giving me a hint, telling me to just study hard and not be attached to or pursue the results. As I studied the Fa and did the exercises every day, my depression faded away.
My mother also shared her understanding with me and said that Master will arrange the best for us if we let go of pursuit. Everything is indeed perfectly arranged, because there is nothing coincidental on a Dafa practitioner’s path. The things arranged on my path were to help me to improve.
In addition, there were actually some benefits to being in the ordinary class. Because it was liberal arts focused, most of the students were poor in math, as was I. Because of that, the math teacher assigned to our class was very attentive and taught more slowly in order to help those students with a poor foundation in math. This also changed me from not being interested in learning math at all to looking forward to it, and my math grades improved dramatically.
We were going to take the first monthly exam after the classes had been separated. Based on these results, students with good scores could still get into the advanced classes. I became obsessed with it again and began to think about it every day. When I studied the Fa, there was a hidden thought in my heart that I should be able to get into an advanced class if I studied the Fa well.
My mother and grandma saw my obsession, so they talked to me. My mother said, “You need to let go of the attachment and not think, ‘I have studied the Fa well, so I should do well on the exam and get into an advanced class.’ Such a strong attachment will be used by the old forces: ‘Look at this child. She is obsessed, so we should keep her from getting in.’ Then, if you don’t get in, will you resent Dafa?”
My mother’s words hit right at my hidden attachment. It was very direct, because it was to do with studying the Fa with a desire, which is the exact opposite of studying the Fa with a clear mind. My grandma also shared with me and said, “The purpose of our coming to the human world is to return to our original selves. It is not to achieve things among people. Such achievements never last long.”
The three of us talked a lot that night, and I was able to realize that, for a long time, I had been trapped in the ways of ordinary society pursuing fame and fortune. At school I learned a lot of nontraditional things under the Communist Party system. The teachers often instilled in students the need to get ahead in order to make more money. It is very easy to get lost in this society. As Dafa practitioners, we must clearly recognize these things, put down the pursuit of fame and fortune, and go against the current. I realized that I was “... deluded by illusions” (“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement). At this point, I was able to let go of my strong attachments.
Even when the exams were coming up and I got out of school very late, I still insisted on studying the Fa when I got home. I listened to Dafa music to purify my mind. I could feel that I had let go of that strong attachment. But the xinxing test would never be easy. The monthly exam was taken over two days. The two subjects tested on the first day were the ones that I usually was good at.
After we finished the first day exams, I talked to my classmates about them and believed I made quite a few mistakes. My heart suddenly became heavy again. I thought to myself, “It’s over. I’ll miss getting into the advanced class again.” Only then did I realize that I still hadn’t completely let go of the attachment to getting into the advanced class. I continued to push myself to let go of the attachment and to just let things happen naturally.
When the results came out, to my surprise, I ranked first in my class and also ranked very high among all the other freshmen. Even my math score was pretty good, and the math teacher praised me in front of the class, commenting that my score had improved by 50%. In the end, I got into the advanced class as I wished. This once again made me deeply appreciate Master’s compassionate arrangement and the extraordinary power of Dafa. When we let go of our attachments, everything opens up.
The above are some of my cultivation experiences. I hope that other young practitioners like me who are still obsessed with grades will let go of the attachments and achieve “... Doing but pursuing not ...” (“In Dao,” Hong Yin). Let us all cultivate diligently together. If anything is not in accord with the Fa, please kindly point it out.