(Minghui.org) I felt that writing an experience-sharing article was challenging, and my many notions and attachments stopped me. This summer a coordinator asked if I could write a sharing article. When I read the Fa the next morning, I came across the following:
Master said,
“It is necessary for disciples to share with one another what they have experienced and learned in their cultivation.” (The Fa Conference, Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that Master was encouraging me to share. However, I thought, “I didn’t cultivate very well, it’s better that I don’t share.” On the surface it seemed that I was humble, but this thought came from my fear of losing face and worry of how people would judge me. I started to doubt myself and was concerned about exposing my sickness karma, “I have tremors even now. How could I read my article on the stage?” All the selfish thoughts I had showed what I needed to let go.
On Friday, March 24, 2023, Shen Yun performed the first of four shows in Basel. One of my tasks was to order dry ice for a special effect. After it arrived, a practitioner in charge inspected it and said it wasn’t good. The first show went smoothly, and I felt relaxed as I was also the head of the security. A sense of zealotry began to emerge. Around 10 p.m. a coordinator from Shen Yun told me that the stage manager asked me to get a new batch of dry ice by noon the next day for the second show because the dry ice they had wasn’t good and didn’t create a foggy effect during the performance.
I was shocked because this never happened before. Everyone knew it was impossible to purchase such a large quantity of dry ice between Friday night and Saturday at noon because all the dry ice factories in Switzerland produce it from Monday to Friday, and they don’t produce extra after Friday afternoon because dry ice evaporates.
I immediately negated this human notion. I knew that when Shen Yun needed a new batch of dry ice, I should not object and say “but…” or ask “What happened? Why?” All the practitioners involved in assisting Shen Yun began sending righteous thoughts.
A miracle happened, and it seemed we could buy dry ice from a natural gas supplier in Switzerland. This natural supplier sold us dry ice before. On their website there was a 24-hour emergency number. Although it wasn’t a natural gas emergency, we couldn’t afford to pass this opportunity. It was nearly 11 p.m. when I called. I explained to the person on the phone the dire situation we were in. He promised to contact a technician and have him call me.
Half an hour later the technician called and told me that it was “quite difficult” to get dry ice by the next morning. I again explained to him what Shen Yun does, and how important it was for us to get dry ice. He said he’d privately contact a coworker to try to find someone to make dry ice for us. I felt he sincerely wanted to help, and I was sure a way could be found. I sent him a link to Shen Yun’s website. Another practitioner booked a truck to pick up the dry ice the next day.
On Saturday morning the technician told me incredible news: it so happened that there was already-made dry ice in the quantity we needed in a place near Basel. One of his coworkers was on his way there and would be waiting for us.
When a practitioner went to pick up the truck we booked, a female employee asked if the practitioner had a discount code, and he said no. The employee told him that he had a 50 % discount, but she didn’t know why. The dry ice arrived right before the Shen Yun’s afternoon performance. The quality was perfect, and the Shen Yun manager was very grateful.
Master said in Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun, “Good or evil comes from that instant thought.” This experience showed me how magnificent the path Master is that arranged for me.
I also understood the importance of believing in Master and the Fa. When I follow the course of nature and worked with the coordinator unconditionally and had no negative thoughts or doubts, the path opened for me. Even everyday people wanted to help us from the bottom of their hearts, and thanked us, believing that it was what they should do.
From this incident, I knew how important it is to trust the Fa and let go of our concerns and doubts. When I looked within, I saw that the impure dry ice meant that I often had impure thoughts, such as my doubts and fear of failure. The incident allowed me to remove a layer of attachment, have more faith in Master and the Fa, and appreciate myself and my cultivation.
I also saw that when I follow the course of nature on the path arranged for me, everything is easily resolved. Sometimes I had to struggle to do something, but it was because I believed that I had to fight hard to achieve and move forward. It was exactly the opposite. Letting go and following the course of nature is truly powerful.
For years my relationship with one of my supervisors has been tense. It felt like we lived in two universes and had exactly opposite views. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I was the only person who could change the situation; I wasn’t supposed to change him—instead I needed to change and eliminate my notions. Master taught us to look not outside, but within.
When I read about jealousy in Zhuan Falun, I saw that I behaved like Shen Gongbao. I believed that my supervisor was incompetent and I was better than him. The problem between us originated from my jealousy! When I rectified my thoughts, our relationship improved significantly.
Having an incompetent supervisor is a good thing. It was an opportunity for me to improve my xinxing. The negative thoughts I harbored against him and the criticism I said behind his back were not the behavior of a true Falun Dafa practitioner.
I never thought that I had jealousy. After I realized I did, I experienced more incidents that exposed my jealousy. I was quite surprised, but also grateful that Master pointed it out so that I could eliminate it.
Some issues happened recently that allowed me to see that, if someone made me upset or angry, it was me who had problems. When my heart was moved, it meant that I had the same issue or attachment. People around me are my mirrors and reflect my notions and attachments.
A practitioner once mentioned a problem I had in my cultivation, and that I hadn’t made breakthroughs for a long time. He said, “Perhaps it has something to do with your attitude toward cultivation.” It was a stick-awakening moment, and made me think.
Master said,
“After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you have not discarded your fundamental attachments and have failed to understand the Fa from the Fa.” (“Towards Consummation,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)
Why did I become a practitioner? I remember I looked at Falun Dafa as a way to guide me and the beings I represent, home. Of course it was a beautiful thought at the time, but it originated from selfishness. In other words, I wanted to leave this place and focus on ending my suffering. My motive to practice Falun Dafa was finally exposed. I thought cultivation was doing what Master asked us to, but I never truly wanted to change myself.
My understanding is that, cultivation isn’t about being busy and finishing Dafa tasks, but to let go and improve one’s xinxing. More precisely, what drives me to do something for Dafa? Is it a pure heart or pursuit? This explains why it was difficult for me to accomplish many things—I didn’t let go of my attachments, and they became the burdens I carried when I worked.
I didn’t want to, or was unable to change myself, but I expected someone else to change. My fundamental attachment was to guard and protect the old self. When I refused to make changes, I began to doubt that I was capable of making changes. There was an attachment to comfort as well.
I identified my attachments to comfort, suspicion, lust, desire, fame, and fortune, and distanced myself from them, knowing that they were not part of me, and they must be eliminated. I must focus on my true wish—that is to save sentient beings with compassion and genuinely cultivate. I took the initiative to eliminate my bad thoughts such as, “I’m not good enough” or, “I’m not qualified.” These thoughts tried to lead me to destruction.
For a long time I tried to study the Fa every night, but I couldn’t keep it up because of fatigue, work, and other things. Now I’m glad that I established the routine of studying the Fa in the morning before I go to work. I hope someday I can do the same with the exercises, because I don’t often exercise in the evenings.
The right side of my body had tremors for some time. Handling this sickness karma exposed many of my attachments: lack of confidence, and worries that I’d damage Falun Dafa’s reputation. These notions became the obstacles I put on myself, and prevented me from attending Dafa activities. During this time, I saw the kindness and compassion from fellow practitioners, which moved me deeply. I haven’t once heard anyone say, “It’s better that you don’t attend such and such activity.”
I’m thankful for Master’s protection along the way so that I have the opportunity to do better, and genuinely cultivate and fulfill my vows. Because I often set obstacles for myself, I want to remind myself with what Master said,
“Cultivation itself is not difficult, and neither is raising one’s level itself difficult. It is because they cannot give up human desires that they call it difficult.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
What I shared is based on my current understanding. Please point out anything that is not in line with the Fa. Thank you revered Master, and thank you fellow practitioners.
(2024 Experience Sharing in German-speaking Switzerland)