(Minghui.org) I would like to share some cultivation stories that occurred at my mother’s home as well as some of my own recent experiences and understandings.
My mother, a fellow practitioner, is a senior and has had some mobility issues in recent years. We hired many caregivers one after another to look after her.
When my mother’s eyesight was still good a few years ago, she hand-copied the book Zhuan Falun, saying that was the happiest time in her life. Later, when her eyesight started to decline, she began to recite poems in Hong Yin.
Even though her hearing is also poor, she could hear recordings of Master’s Fa lectures and the exercise music at an appropriate volume. All the caregivers who have looked after her over the years know that Falun Dafa is good, and a few of them have also become Dafa practitioners after listening to the lectures.
The first two caregivers quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) after they learned the truth about Falun Dafa and the evilness of the CCP. The third caregiver is illiterate, however after witnessing some miraculous incidents that happened to my parents, she would play Master’s Fa lectures for my parents whenever they felt a bit unwell and listened with them. She also learned the exercises and was happy that the exercises were easy to learn. She was amazed that even though my mother fell many times, she never broke any bones thanks to the protection of Master. One time my mother was running a very high fever, but she recovered by listening to Master’s lectures without seeking treatment in a hospital.
This caregiver practiced the exercises with us every morning. When she finished, she always said, “Thank you, Master!” After she finished with the morning chores, she would sit down to listen to Master’s Fa lectures. She had to resign from the job due to family circumstances. Before she left, I gave her an audio player with Master’s Fa lectures so that she could continue to listen to them when she was back home.
Although she is illiterate, her enlightenment quality is quite good, and she would ask us if she had any questions. She also conducts herself by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in her daily life. Everyone who knows her said she looks ten years younger now, with a rosy complexion, and is often seen smiling.
When the fourth caregiver came to our place, my father had just passed away, and my mother was feeling very weak and was confined to a wheelchair. Still, she listened to Master’s Fa lectures every day.
This caregiver showed some resistance when I clarified the truth to her at the beginning. As time went on, especially when she saw that my mother was getting better and better through listening to the Fa lectures, she said that she wanted to learn the Falun Dafa exercises and listen to the Fa lectures as well.
She learned the exercises quickly and listened to the Fa lectures every day, and she always said, “Dafa is good!” When she went back home for the holidays, she told her neighbors proudly, “I’m practicing Falun Dafa now. Falun Dafa is very good, not at all like what was said on TV.” I felt really happy that she learned the truth and obtained the Fa!
The fifth caregiver is a Christian, and she was very happy to hear that our whole family practices Falun Dafa, saying that she knows Falun Dafa is good. She has a good friend, whose entire family practices Falun Dafa. Her friend used to be rather assertive and forceful, but after she took up Dafa, she became nice and kind.
Even though the fifth caregiver knows Falun Dafa is good, she still had many questions, mostly due to the slanderous lies spread by the CCP. I clarified the truth to her patiently and showed her Master’s recent articles “How Humankind Came To Be” and “Why Save Sentient Beings.” Her attitude completely changed. When she left for another job, she was happy to take the book Zhuan Falun with her, and said, “I’ll study the book well.”
The sixth caregiver is also a Christian. I clarified the truth to her and helped her quit the CCP. Her own health wasn’t very good, and when she saw that my mother got better and better just by doing the exercises the best she could in a wheelchair and listening to Master’s Fa lectures, and especially when she saw that my mother's hair began to grow in black again when she is almost 90, she was so impressed that she started to learn the exercises and listen to the Fa lectures as well, and she didn’t stop when she went back home for holidays.
The seventh caregiver was even more amazing, she said she wanted to learn the exercises the first day she arrived at my mother’s home. I clarified the truth to her and taught her the exercises. Each day, after we finished doing the exercises, she would say, “This practice is wonderful! It makes me feel so good! Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. Thank you, Master!”
Although she only has an elementary school education, she has good enlightenment quality. She listens to the Fa lectures every day, and is always in good spirits. A couple of days ago, she said to me suddenly, “Oh, I forgot to tell you, now my parents and my older sister are also doing this practice!”
I know in my heart that Master has arranged all these people to come to my mother's home to obtain the Fa. Everything is done by Master. I feel extremely grateful to Master for the opportunities to assist Master in Fa-rectification and saving people while I’m taking care of my elderly mother.
There are two other caregivers who only came to help out for half a day. I took the opportunity to clarify the truth to them and told them to remember “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” so that they would have a bright future.
I always remind myself that I’m a Dafa practitioner and I try to validate the Fa through my actions.
I am the youngest child in my family, and have been favored by my mother since childhood, still, I wasn’t spared from her smacks. The deep bond between us has also brought us many tribulations and tests in our cultivation, especially in the past fews years while I was taking care of my parents. I have pulled through many ups and downs, tribulations and xinxing tests, and made it to where I am today.
In the process, I discovered many of my attachments, such as resentment, jealousy, complaining mindset and dislike of criticism, etc. I tried to let go of them, but was never able to do so properly. It was like peeling an onion, when one layer was peeled off, another layer appeared. As soon as I made up my mind to do better and hold up my xinxing, new conflicts appeared, and it was really like what Master said, “......if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
When I could not bear the pain, my demonic nature got the upper hand, and I even went to complain to my brother and sister. I treated the conflicts with an everyday person’s mentality and human notions and sentiments, and forgot speech cultivation completely. Each time I did this, I would deeply regret it afterwards. It was not until this time when I experienced the same conflict, and when Master dropped me a hint while I was doing meditation that I completely changed my mindset.
My brother and sister are a few years older than me, and my sister is not in very good health herself. I’m a Dafa practitioner and I should do well in everything, let alone looking after my own parents. So, it seemed rather natural that I take the responsibility of taking care of them. Although there are caregivers at my parents’ home, my mother relies on me a lot and consults with me about everything, big or small, and I have to contact everyone she wants to talk with; her colleagues, or our relatives and friends.
My mother has a strong personality and wants to have the final say in everything. She often says to me, “Raising you was not easy.” Sometimes, she also accused me because I showed more care to my father, and when this happened, I would argue, “Since ancient times, people have always condemned unfilial children, but who would have ever criticized someone for being filial to their father?!”
My mother has long felt resentful towards my father, and whenever I showed a little bit more care to my father, she would become jealous and make a fuss. No matter how well I treated her, she was not satisfied and would complain. A few times, she even called me in the middle of the night to curse me. I was very moved and treated the issue with everyday people’s reasoning.
My father, on the other hand, always comforted me every time I did something for him. He would say, “It’s really hard on you. Thank you. You’re the youngest in the family, and yet you are taking on so much.” Hearing these words, I always felt very warm in my heart. In fact, it showed my attachment to enjoying compliments. But I didn’t realize at all that my mother was like a mirror to reflect my shortcomings, and she was actually helping me in my cultivation.
Master said,
“Cultivation must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human qing and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Master’s teaching is so clear and I can memorize all this, but when it comes to actual issues, I find it difficult to let go of human attachments and sentiments. I now realize it is because I haven’t actually studied the Fa well to obtain the Fa, and I have failed to truly cultivate myself.
Recently, I ran into conflicts with my mother again. I thought I was being kind to her and tried to impose my own understanding on her. Just as the conflict was about to turn into an explosion, I remembered that I am a Dafa practitioner. I didn’t do well in the past, but now Master is watching me and seeing how I would handle the situation.
For the first time, I thought: This could be a debt I owed in the past; it could be an arrangement made by the old forces to interfere with our cultivation; it could be a test for me by Master. My enlightenment quality has been so poor! My conduct in the past has seriously violated the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I haven’t been kind, let alone forbearing! I thought I was doing better than others and doing better than before by everyday’s people’s standards instead of measuring myself by the Fa principles.
I started looking inward with a calm mind. I found that in the past, I always complained that my mother had too much jealousy and resentment. But wasn’t I also complaining about how much I have done in taking care of my parents and felt irritated inside? Wasn’t I also harboring jealousy and resentment? My mother was simply showing it to me so that I could reflect upon myself. After I realized my own attachments, I sincerely apologized to my mother for the wrongdoings on my part.
I felt really ashamed that even though I have been cultivating in Dafa for almost 30 years, I have always handled conflicts with an everyday person’s mentality and so-called tolerance. I have done so poorly in cultivation, and have been far from the requirements of the Fa.
From studying the Fa, I understood that my mother has been helping me cultivate myself all these years. She complains about me every day. Isn’t this a great thing for a true cultivator? Shouldn’t I be grateful to her?!
My mother is almost 90 years old now, and it must have been difficult for her for everything she has gone through all these years. I now feel truly grateful to her. Of course, most of all, I feel extremely grateful to Master for his kind arrangement. When I thought about my 90-year-old mother who always hopes that I could go to do the exercises with her every day, and she always thinks of Master when she experiences sickness karma, and she still recites poems in Hong Yin every day, I feel a sincere sense of respect and gratitude toward her.
The next day when I went to my mother’s home, I said to her from the bottom of my heart, “You have been so kind to me, but I have treated you so poorly. I feel extremely bad about it. Sorry, mom!”
My mother said to me: “No worries, It’s all part and parcel of life. All these conflicts are for us to let go to our attachments, so that we can improve. We should thank our Master and listen to his teachings.”
I feel deeply grateful to Master. I didn’t do well in the past, but Master’s Fa has helped my mother and I transcend the mother-daughter bond constrained by human emotions, and we both have let go of the attachments of resentment, jealousy, looking down upon others, and enjoying hearing nice things about ourselves, and we both have parted with the human sentiments we had towards each other and developed loving kindnesses instead.
On the remaining journey, I’m determined not to be interfered with by the chaotic world, but to cultivate compassion and kindness towards all people. I will step out of selfishness, human attachments, human notions and sentiments, and guide all my thoughts and actions by the Fa principles. I will study the Fa well and focus on looking inward to do well with the three things so that I will be worthy of Master’s compassionate salvation and be able to return to my true home with Master.