(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am 32 and I have been practicing Falun Dafa for six years now. From initially being a beginner who didn’t even understand terms like “level,” to now working in a practitioner-run media during this critical time of Fa-rectification, time has flown by unknowingly.
Along the way, I’ve made many mistakes. Particularly in the first half of this year, I faced a significant test. However, compassionate Master did not abandon a disciple who struggled to rise after falling, but helped me wake up and continue cultivating in Dafa. It is my honor to share my cultivation experience with everyone below.
I learned Falun Dafa through my mother who is a practitioner. When I first read the book Zhuan Falun, there were a lot of words that I didn’t understand, but I accept the concept of “Master” naturally. “This is my Master!” I was so happy that I wanted to dance around Master’s portrait. After two years of cultivation, a new environment came into being.
I worked for a publishing house that specialized in children’s books. I was deeply disheartened by the publishing industry’s support for homosexuality and the dismissal of traditional virtues. Just as I began entertaining the thought of producing quality content, I was recommended to join the practitioner-run media. This was no coincidence. So in August 2020, I began my journey in the media.
Master said:
“After passing on the teachings, the master will again tell it, “You still have many attachments to remove. You should go out to wander about.” Wandering around in society is rather torturous. It must beg for food and run into different kinds of people who will scold, insult, or take advantage of it. It might encounter all kinds of things.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
To me, working in media was no different from “wandering around in society.” My job involves working with many different departments to produce traditional, high-quality content.
We often outsource production to save resources, which is extremely challenging to balance cost and quality. The external collaborators we work with are often disgruntled due to the low rates, and their attitudes can be poor. We also had to deal with complaints from clients, when they didn’t approve of the final product. While the surface reasons vary, I believe these challenges are there to help me improve, with some playing the role of “antagonists.” Regardless of the project, I face blame, mockery, loss of face, and fear. All of them are opportunities for cultivation. This process, however, is profoundly painful.
Let me share two particularly memorable experiences of overcoming challenges in the media.
One time, I worked on a video promoting Chuncheon City. From the first meeting with the director of the outsourced production company, I could sense an air of disrespect. Later, I noticed some issues in the script he prepared. Others who read the script also found the content of poor quality. Without complaining, I read it again carefully and realized that it had some bright spots.
Master said,
“Dafa disciples should handle everything positively. Don’t look at the negative side of other people. You should always look at their positive side.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)
I expected that providing feedback would be less daunting when I identified the script’s strengths. I called the director to provide my suggestions, but he abruptly said, “You do it yourself. I’m off work now.” Then he hung up.
I was shocked and my mind went blank. Facing a tight deadline and our commitment to the client, I resolved to take responsibility. Once I made up my mind, inspiration flowed, and I quickly revised the script. The supervisors praised the improved quality, and even the director said it’s “very clear.” However, during a second round of feedback, he became furious when my comments did not align with his views.
I was confused about his attitude. Why did he suddenly change completely? I was his customer, how come he treated me like that? I was terrified, but still tried to work with him.
I realized that my initial positive outcome stemmed from a calm and understanding mindset. The second time, I was irritable and critical of his work. My mindset influenced the results directly. From then on, although I faced many complicated situations, I tried to do my best to gain his trust. The project was completed successfully.
Later I had a dream in which the outsourced director wore a green necklace with a drawing of a divine actor. This made me realize that the people we work with all have predestined relationships with us.
Another experience was during the video production in Kumsan County. It was a major undertaking to be broadcast on New Tang Dynasty Television, which was a burdensome project. I felt good at the beginning, but then I sensed an unusual atmosphere on the first day of shooting. It was pouring when we planned to shoot outdoors. I changed it to indoors. While the first hurdle was successfully passed, everything was a mess after that.
As the schedule went on, the challenges were unrelenting: weather issues, conflicts among team members, subpar performances from actors, and technical problems with client products. I had to deal with all kinds of mistakes, incidents, check schedules and translate videos, etc. I was overloaded every day.
One day when I asked the director to reshoot some footage, he responded cynically, “Reshoot it? Me?”
I was embarrassed, and said, “Thank you for your hard work. Please let me know if there’s anything I can help with.”
He immediately changed his attitude and told me the difficulties he faced: there was a conflict between the camera crew and the lighting crew; he felt pressure when we always watched him aside; and it was difficult to manage the staff. He apologized to me for not doing the video well and offered to redo the shots.
The project started in the spring and was finally completed in the fall. Even now I still remember how difficult it was. When I was writing the sharing article, I reflected on myself and realized that I didn’t want to admit my mistakes even though I was aware of it. When the director had a cold attitude toward me in public, to save face, I intentionally put on a serious face. A practitioner’s energy can influence the atmosphere. I also didn’t know how to properly communicate the issues with others. Sometimes I’d rather not to point out the problem to avoid being hated. A practitioner must balance compassion with firmness, ensuring responsibilities are met without compromising principles.
We should accept the path of cultivation that Master has arranged for us with gratitude, and instead of seeing our painful experiences as “traumas,” we should try to see them as good opportunities to look inward.
This summer, I faced severe burnout, stemming from a poor cultivation state. I neglected exercises, sent fewer righteous thoughts, and didn’t keep up with my Fa study. It felt painful doing any project. I tried to relieve my distress by playing on my phone, eating, and shopping. I tried to avoid any complex work. At night, I dreaded the morning, yelling and screaming out of anxiety. Nevertheless, as soon as the sun came up, I still had to work and practice my trumpet for Tian Guo Marching Band.
I often asked myself, “Why do I practice Dafa? Why do I work in the media?” I didn’t have an answer. Of course, on the surface, I knew that we should “return to our origin” and help Master to rectify the Fa and save people. But this was just a theory to me and it didn’t truly come from my heart. On the other hand, I didn’t want to give up. I told myself, “Even though I am a practitioner with many shortcomings, I am still a Dafa disciple. I want to do well. Master, please help me.”
Master arranged for me a precious summer vacation. At the end of August, I was told that I could take one month off.
I was excited and played for a week. Then I went back to my mother’s house in Incheon. My daily schedule was simple: studying the Fa for two or three hours, doing exercises, practicing the trumpet, and sending forth righteous thoughts. I used to make the excuse that as long as I could focus twenty minutes of Fa study every day, it was good enough.
But practitioners in Incheon are different. They read two or three lectures a day before leaving to the ferry terminal to clarify the facts to the Chinese tourists. At night, they continue studying the Fa online.
One day, the words “improve xinxing” were deeply imprinted in my heart. Although I read it many times, this time was different. Only by improving my xinxing can I transform black matter into white matter, and then evolve to spiritual power, transforming my body to a high-energy substance. The meaning of cultivation was completely different to me now. Before, I just wanted to be a good person; now, for the first time, I wanted to improve my level and return to my original home.
It took me six years before I realized this, which made me immensely grateful and more spontaneous in studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I didn’t like to do the exercises before, now I do it twice a day, every day.
Master saw my efforts and made me feel many things. Sometimes I saw beautiful dots blinking in front of my eyes. If I opened my eyes when I was doing the exercises, I could see two transparent Faluns (law wheels) spinning rapidly. I felt my arms, legs, and body disappear when I was doing the second exercise; I knew how the black matter evolved into the white matter when I was doing the fifth exercise. One day, I even felt as if clean water was constantly being poured over my head. I am deeply grateful for Master’s salvation.
During this month, I realized the huge difference between doing work as a normal person and doing work as a practitioner. The former only leaves behind dissatisfaction, blaming others, and suffering. The latter, even when encountering the same issues, will look within and be grateful for the opportunities for improvement. The real reason why I was burned out was because I didn’t cultivate myself well and didn’t know how to be grateful. Now looking inward becomes a routine for me when problems arise. My husband said that I have changed a lot as I didn’t lose my temper every day. If any practitioners like me have fallen behind in their cultivation, or couldn’t keep inner peace, I would suggest you study the Fa more.
Before my vacation, the media was facing difficulties; upon my return, the situation was even worse. My salary was reduced to the level I received seven years ago. It was unacceptable, as I had to pay a home loan monthly. On the other side, I knew that I had to work harder to help the company get better. But I felt I was more interested in publishing and I didn’t have enough passion for video production. I still felt burdened and under pressure.
Just when I was thinking about which career path to take, the media announced a reorganization. My team leader became the director, while the former director was demoted to a staffer. The new director invited me for a talk. To my surprise, she, who was usually full of courage and vigor, was pale. She said, “I hope you will help me.” I felt heartbroken because I could not promise her anything.
In the next few days, I thought a lot. I worried that I couldn’t do this job well and I couldn’t accept such low pay. I felt aggrieved. However, on second thought, I knew I was selfish. Master enlightened me and gave me so many good things for my cultivation, yet I was not willing to make sacrifices when the media, which was helping Master to rectify the Fa, was facing difficulties. I felt guilty.
The new director was so busy that she hardly had time to sit down. When I told her that I didn’t have time to write the sharing article for the Fahui, without hesitation, she said, “I will take over your job and you just focus on writing. It is the most important thing.”
I was deeply touched. I couldn’t imagine someone could be so considerate. I couldn’t help but cry. The formal director calmly accepted the demotion. She didn’t leave but stayed to help young colleagues. The dedication they showed eventually dissolved my selfishness, and I decided to take on the responsibility no matter how tired I was. I may still be afraid and want to run away when facing difficulties, but I know it was not the real me because suffering is a good thing for practitioners. It is my honor to work with my fellow practitioners in the media.
One day I dreamed of Master who showed me writing down the answer on a whiteboard, but the words were easily erased. I think it’s a reminder that I was not determined. However, the word “Master” will never be erased from my heart. I will try my best not to let Master down.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
(Selected from the 2024 South Korean Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)