(Minghui.org) During my cultivation, I always tried to eliminate my resentment, but I could not get rid of it completely, which distressed me greatly. Today, I finally understood what Master meant in His teaching.

Master said,

“When a person harbors resentment it’s because he has grown fond of hearing pleasant things and having things go well. And then when things don’t go that way, he resents it.” (“2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C.”)

So, that’s how resentment arises! I usually liked to be praised and hoped everything would go well, but when I heard something bad about me or encountered bad things, I got upset and angry. I didn’t recognize how resentment arises, so I couldn’t get rid of it. Looking back, I could see that Master arranged many opportunities for me to get rid of resentment. But I missed them again and again. I really regret that.

For example: My husband always criticized me and complained about everything, even my cooking. He complained that the food I cooked was either too bland or too salty. In response, I blamed my husband for always finding fault with me, and wondered why I had found such a husband! Thus, I developed resentment. And, as the resentment had become a natural reaction for me, I didn’t even feel it. Master’s Fa was like a stick warning for me today.

My stubborn resentment became weaker, and I felt that I could easily get rid of it. But it was not that easy, as it took time to get rid of it.

Master saw that I wanted to get rid of resentment, so He arranged a situation to help me. My mother said something that triggered my resentment. She told me that my neighbor’s daughter bought a lot of delicious food for her father, who has dementia, every time she came home. Her elder brother is at home taking care of their father full time. So he also benefits from this. My mother’s point was that the neighbor’s daughter is more filial than her elder son. Upon hearing this, I immediately felt upset, as it is the same situation in my family. We take care of my father-in-law and my husband’s brother and sister just buy stuff for him. My father-in-law thinks they are more filial than us. I thought this is really unfair. It was so difficult for me to take care of my father-in-law at home. I spent so much effort and money, but nobody appreciated it. I completely forgot that I am a cultivator. This resentment came out unconsciously, and I didn’t even realize it.

The next day, I felt dizzy and nauseous. At noon, I tried to get out of bed to cook lunch. But I started to feel sick and threw up my breakfast, with bitter bile. I was shocked by this, so I quickly looked inward: I found that I didn’t pass yesterday’s test. When I heard my mother imply that we were not good, my resentment burst out. And the resentment brought out jealousy, self-interest, a competitive mentality and other human attachments. Upon finding these attachments, I woke up. I knew this was Master’s careful arrangement for me to quickly get rid of this resentment, walk out of the human notions, and quickly improve. But the old forces wanted to use my resentment to prevent me from walking out of humanness. I thought: Old forces, I will not be fooled by you this time. I quickly admitted my mistake to Master and thanked Master for the arrangement to remove this resentment. I felt determined to get rid of resentment.

Master saw that I didn’t pass yesterday’s test, so He arranged another one. My husband asked me to drive the car out of the garage. I thought it would be better for the car to stay in the garage, so it won’t be exposed to the summer sun. Thus, I didn’t move the car out. My husband was not happy about it and said that it’s too narrow and inconvenient to get in and out of the car when it’s in the garage. He asked me again to drive it out. I immediately said to him, “Why are you so angry? What if that expensive car is damaged by the sun?” Seeing that he couldn’t persuade me, my husband went out in a rage. I thought: Nothing happens by chance. Why was he picking on me over such a small matter? Then I thought, I must see it as a good thing, and I must pass this test.

I looked inward further, and found that there was another reason why I didn’t want to drive the car out. I had no problem driving the car in such a narrow garage, but my husband didn’t praise me for it. Isn’t this the same as wanting to hear good things, and resenting my husband for saying unpleasant things? This is resentment again. Now that I have found it, I am determined to let go of this attachment.

When my husband came home that evening, I hurried to meet him and asked, “What would you like for dinner?” My husband said angrily, “Whatever you want to make.” I thought to myself: This is the old forces using my husband to get angry at me, so that I will resent him. I will not be fooled by the old forces this time. Not only did I not resent my husband, but I wanted to be nice to him. I am grateful to my husband from the bottom of my heart for helping me improve my xinxing! I got busy making dinner without feeling angry.

The next day, my husband was fixing the air conditioner and was sweating profusely. I quickly took a fan to cool him. I no longer had any resentment in my heart, only gratitude. I sincerely felt grateful to my husband for helping me improve my xinxing! With my xinxing improved, my husband’s resentment also disappeared. He now speaks softly, and is no longer as aggressive as before. The atmosphere at home has returned to being peaceful and happy.

Through the process of getting rid of resentment, I deeply realized that only by studying the Fa well can we get rid of all kinds of attachments and human thoughts. I also realized the profound significance of why Master repeatedly emphasized that disciples should study the Fa more and study it well.

Please point out anything that is not in accord with the Fa.