(Minghui.org) I spent my 60th birthday in a detention center. Many people may think it was unfortunate and feel sorry for me, but it was a true blessing in disguise. You need to understand, however, that I was not detained because I had committed any crime or broken the law. It had to do with my faith in Falun Dafa (also called Falun Gong), a spiritual practice whose adherents follow the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
I took up Falun Dafa after the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) banned the practice and launched a persecution against it in 1999. I was arrested twice and illegally detained for 14 months after the second arrest.
Despite this being the biggest tribulation of my life, I’m grateful for the experience. The little over a year in detention enabled me to meet many inmates who were predestined to learn the truth about Dafa. By my words and deeds, they came to realize that Dafa is good and those who practice it are kind and tolerant, despite the CCP’s smear campaign. The harsh environment and complex interpersonal relations helped me temper my will and cultivate my heart. I’ve benefited in so many ways and was able to rise above and beyond my limitations, which was invaluable.
To be honest, I was scared when I first arrived at the detention center. All sorts of human notions cropped up, and my righteous thoughts were diminishing. I wondered, “How can I get out of here quickly? When will I be released? Are other practitioners going to petition for my release?” A million thoughts raced through my mind. I asked myself over and over again, “What to do? What to do?”
What was I going to do next? Should I go on a hunger strike to protest like many other practitioners have done? Or should I comply with the officials’ demands and renounce my belief? Facing those detainees who deliberately broke the law, what could I possibly do? Should I still be kind to them? Should I stick to the things that Dafa practitioners should be doing no matter what? Or should I not do anything because I will surely get squashed? I spent the first three days thinking of what I could do and tried to come up with a plan.
I finally decided that I could not simply do what other practitioners decided to do or have done. I needed to examine myself and hold myself to a high standard by following the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance at all times. I could not let the CCP and its agents intimidate me! I had to let go of my notions and attachments as time was simply too precious.
Most importantly, I needed to seize this opportunity to save people. I had to demonstrate to everyone a Dafa practitioner’s kindness and tolerance to offset the CCP’s lies. That way, the inmates would likely be receptive when I advised them to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
I decided to not go on a hunger strike. I would do my best and show everyone that I was a good person. I would treat them with kindness and keep in mind my best intentions. I would be compassionate, clarify the truth, and save them.
My first thought was that everything I did needed to be in line with the Fa. I needed to hold myself to the high standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and let it be my guide in everything I did. The inmates were from all walks of life. Although I was past middle age, I encountered some things for the first time at the detention center.
The environment was complex and unforgiving. Some inmates were unreasonable, while others were deceitful in order to get the upper hand. Some were short tempered and quick to start fights. Then there were those who never talked to anyone. As a former employee of the Worker’s Union, I had worked with many people, but in the detention center, I quickly realized I hadn’t seen anything yet.
To help them understand Dafa and see what practitioners are truly like, I let go of my tendency to seem arrogant as a former official and was always friendly and considerate. I got rid of the notion that people who are detained are bad and not worth saving. That’s not the right idea—Master Li cherishes all beings, so I couldn’t give up on any of them.
During my time at the detention center, I had two cellmates at two different times whose movements were restricted for different reasons. The first was wrongfully accused of being involved in a scam and was suicidal. She was handcuffed to the bed rail so that she could not harm herself. The second inmate was a drug addict who was often aggressive. Her hands and feet were cuffed to the four corners of her bed so that she could not move. Others in the cell helped them with everything, including feeding, laundry, washing their hair, helping them use a bed pan, and even changing their menstrual pads. As you can imagine, nobody was thrilled to do these tasks.
Although everyone was assigned to take turns caring for those two inmates, they dreaded dumping and cleaning the bed pan. So I volunteered to take care of it. I also washed their laundry by hand and spoon fed them. I was not afraid of doing the dirty work, despite being the oldest inmate. The other inmates slowly came around—they first felt embarrassed but then were more willing to help. They gave me a thumbs up and complimented me. The cuffed inmates were also touched. One told me, “When I’m released, I will pay you back.” I told her not to mention it, but to thank Dafa’s Master instead.
Each inmate was given a small stool and was responsible for putting it away when it wasn’t being used. However, some stools were always left lying in the walkway. The inmates would rather step over them. Sometimes people tripped and fell and even started arguments over such a trivial thing.
Whenever I saw stools strewn all over, I put them away. But some inmates tried to discourage me, saying “Look at these lazy bums. You shouldn’t have to help them. They need to get punished so they’ll remember to put their stools away next time.” I smiled and told them it was okay to do a little extra work and help others out. It was not a big deal for me. I explained to them that I was a cultivator of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and my goal was to become more selfless. My cellmates smiled approvingly and said that Falun Dafa practitioners were good people.
There were always a few inmates that didn’t pay attention to personal hygiene. Others looked down on them and avoided interacting with them. The cell head also discriminated against the poor inmates. If she knew an inmate could afford to pay her back, she’d loan them a few items. But if an inmate didn’t have the money, she would give out used items or simply turn them down.
I felt sorry for these inmates and didn’t like how others judged them. As a practitioner, I knew their main spirits might be virtuous— so we should not judge a book by its cover. I often shared my food with them and let them use my necessities. And when it was time to put in our orders, I bought extra things for them. I didn’t treat them any differently than the others. I was friendly at all times, and they were truly touched. Even the guards praised me. I told everyone, including the guards, “This is because I practice Falun Dafa.” One guard smiled and said, “Just don’t say it out loud.” I knew she was concerned about the surveillance camera.
The detention center operated like the military, and we were required to fold our comforters into a perfect “block of tofu.” This task posed great difficulty to everyone, and we were often reprimanded or made to stand for long periods of time because of our poor folding skills. Some inmates were even forced to take on extra work or an extra shift of night duty. The worst was when the guards threw an inmate’s comforter into the sink and soaked it as a punishment—if you didn’t fold you comforter neatly, you would not get to use it.
Luckily, that never happened to me. However, I didn’t think punishment was a good way to promote precision in folding comforters—we needed a change. I remembered some tips from a retired military officer I’d met a few years back. I practiced and practiced and, pretty soon, I could fold the comforter to resemble a block of tofu.
Then I became the unofficial “comforter folding officer.” Those inmates who needed help often asked me to fold their comforters. The newcomers always needed tips and help at first. I was happy to help and was never impatient—this is not something an ordinary person could have done consistently.
Because of the help I offered to those who struggled, our comforters started to look pretty decent. No one was punished for a sloppy folding job again, and we ended up being praised by the center director. An inmate asked me, “How come you never say no to those requests for help? You don’t have a temper, never complain, are always happy to help, and never ask for anything. You’re such a good person. You are just perfect.” I told her it was the power of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance—if I didn’t cultivate Falun Dafa, I wouldn’t have been able to do that.
We were on a two-week rotation where all inmates switched beds every two weeks. There were two particular spots that nobody liked—the one next to the window, and the one next to the toilet. During hot summer days, mosquitoes were a big problem, and the one sleeping next to the window got it the worst. During the winter, a freezing draft through a crack in the window blew directly onto the shoulder of the person sleeping in the nearest bed. If the person in that bed didn’t like to open the window, the air didn’t circulate and the whole cell got stuffy. Nobody liked the bed next to the toilet for obvious reasons—the smell was awful and the flushing noises kept them up all night.
Whoever was the next in line to sleep in those beds ran into another problem—the inmates in those tough spots leaned forward and pushed them at night to get away from the window or the toilet as much as possible. Sometimes, they got pushed too far over to the person on their other side, and then they’d get scolded. Arguments and even fights broke out over this. I just accepted everything with a calm heart.
Whenever I slept under the window or next to the toilet, I tried to make everyone happy. I kept the window open so we had fresh air. Then the person next to me didn’t like the draft blowing on her and opened the window just enough so air still circulated. She surely enjoyed the fresh air, but I was the one who got the draft. Ordinary people are often selfish—I sometimes resented her and wanted to argue with her but instantly remembered that I was a Dafa practitioner. Master was watching over me—the chilly draft wouldn’t get me sick; I would be just fine. I couldn’t act like an ordinary person. I had to be considerate of others in everything I did, and this is how I validated the Fa.
My sacrifice was well worth it—the inmates’ attitudes toward me and Dafa changed. One inmate who used to be deeply prejudiced against Dafa told me, “People in my village don’t like Falun Gong—they say practitioners lack humanity. They never participate in any of their families’ major life events like weddings, funerals, celebration of newborns, nothing. They don’t help their families babysit like grandparents would normally do. They are stingy with their time and very selfish. But because of you, I now know that not all practitioners are like that. You’re selfless and ask nothing in return. Although you are the oldest one here, you don’t have that superior attitude. You’ve completely changed my impression of Falun Gong practitioners.”
The cell head told me, “Falun Gong practitioners are good people with sound moral characters and dignity. You’re different than everyone else. We had a Falun Gong practitioner in our cell before, but she was not like you. She never talked to us and was always meditating by herself in the corner. You, however, have become one of us. We like it. With you here, it’s so much easier to manage the inmates.”
Some inmates asked me to sing soon after I arrived at the detention center. I figured it was a good opportunity to validate the Fa, so I sang Dafa songs, “Coming For You,” “Dafa Is Good,” and “Hurry and Find the Truth.” The cell head later warned me not to sing those songs because of surveillance cameras. When someone asked, though, I still sang for the inmates quietly out of the cameras’ range. I regretted not having learned more Dafa songs.
Another inmate told me, “How can Falun Gong practitioners be so patient and so tolerant? You have a great personality and are friendly no matter who the person is. Why can’t I be that patient?” I told her to try taking a step back when dealing with a conflict, and everything would instantly be better. She told me she’d try and added, “If everybody could be as nice as you, we wouldn’t have ended up in the detention center in the first place.” She raised her voice and said, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!” She asked if she’d said the phrases correctly, and I told her she did. I was so happy for her!
An inmate said, “The practice of Falun Gong is great. It can change someone into such a good person. The practitioners are always considerate and put others before themselves. The practice also helps people quit drugs. I will look for you when I’m released so I can study Falun Gong, too. I will never touch drugs again.” I said, “Great. It’s a date!”
Another inmate told me, “Remember you told me that after you started to practice Falun Gong, you treated your mother-in-law as your own mother. Your mother-in-law was bedridden for five years and you took care of her conscientiously and didn’t complain. Now I know you’re not lying. As old as you are, you helped those inmates cuffed to the beds and cleaned the bed pans. You never get into arguments with anyone even when you’re wronged or taken advantage of. You take personal gain so lightly, yet you’re always ready to help others and willing to do extra. I’m so touched!
“I am so far from that. Why do I have such a bad relationship with my mother-in-law? I now know it’s because I’m lazy. I always focus on others’ shortcomings and nitpick my mother-in-law instead of looking for my mistakes. I can’t take even the tiniest losses. If I were as hardworking as you, wouldn’t my mother-in-law love me? Even when there was a conflict, if I looked for my own faults, how could I ever get into an argument or fight with my mother-in-law? Wouldn’t the conflicts be resolved? Falun Gong is truly powerful. When I’m released, you’ll have to get me a copy of Zhuan Falun (the main text of Falun Dafa) so I can learn it, too!” I told her, “Of course. If you really want to learn, I will help you.”
Three inmates asked me to recite Master’s poems for them. I taught one of them four poems from Hong Yin and Hong Yin III: “Don’t Argue,” “Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong,” “Tempering One’s Heart and Will,” and “An Upright Person.” One of them said, “Your master’s poem ‘Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong’ is so well said. He is so talented! I have to memorize this poem—it will help me so much in life.” Another one of them asked me to recite all of the Fa that I had memorized because she enjoyed listening to it so much. She said she really wanted to know what Dafa was.
One particular inmate was very argumentative and petty. She was into fortunetelling and liked to spread rumors. No one liked her and everyone avoided interacting with her. But, somehow, she felt superior to me and looked down on me. I didn’t pay attention to her, either, as I felt that she had this negative energy emanating from her. But soon she started wondering, “Why does everybody like her but not me? I’ve been here for almost a year now and still don’t have any friends.”
Her attitude toward me changed. Before her release, she came to me and asked me to recite Master’s Fa for her. I was surprised and, of course, happy that she asked. She was serious about learning the Fa and asked me from time to time to see if she’d memorized the Fa correctly. Her sincerity made me realize that just because we don’t like someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bad person. If someone could come to me on her own and ask to learn the Fa, she must have a deep predestined relationship with Dafa. I was wrong and shouldn’t have judged her.
I always told the inmates that Master is immensely compassionate and would not hold anything against anyone—Master is here to offer salvation to all: “Don’t think that just because you’ve made mistakes and committed wrongdoing in the past that you can’t learn Falun Gong. As long as you read Zhuan Falun and work on improving yourself, you can be saved. You’ll benefit tremendously and your families will as well.”
By simply adhering to Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and being strict with myself, I gained so much during my detention. Before that I never could have cleaned someone’s bed pan, worked long hours in the workshop, or put up with the harsh conditions. I used to be hot tempered and would fly into a rage even when a small thing didn’t go my way. Although I had improved a little after I started to practice, I was far from the requirements of the Fa.
When I slept next to the window and toilet, I tried to be considerate of others but the inmates still bullied and verbally abused me. I didn’t get into any arguments with them but my heart was not always calm. I was angry, I felt wronged, and I just couldn’t let it go. Then I realized, “What am I doing here? Are you a still a Dafa practitioner? Isn’t this the perfect opportunity to improve your xinxing?” As I realized this, I felt better instantly—Master must have purified another layer of my body.
I suffered a lot in the detention center but it became a good thing because it tempered my will and reinforced my faith in Dafa. In that complex environment, I was able to look inward to examine myself whenever conflicts arose and recognize them as Master’s arrangements for me to improve my xinxing. Moreover, it was a great opportunity to clarify the truth to so many young people. Regardless of how big of a hurdle or how great the tribulation is, as long as I have Master and the Fa, everything can be resolved.
We had half an hour every morning to line up for roll call, half an hour after lunch to sit in silence, and four hours at night to again sit in silence. These were opportunities to talk to people about Dafa and clarify the truth. I also clarified the truth to whoever sat next to me while working in the workshop. I seized every opportunity to spread the truth about Dafa and the wrongful persecution. Through my words and deeds, the inmates learned that Dafa practitioners are good people and were more likely to quit the CCP and its youth organizations.
When Mei was placed in our cell, I tried to clarify the truth but couldn’t get through to her. I soon discovered that she was argumentative and vulgar. I disliked her and considered her not worth saving, so I gave up and decided to just let her be. It wasn’t until much later that I realized I was wrong. My goal was to save her and the beings surrounding her in other dimensions—I shouldn’t have judged her based on how she behaved.
Once I came to this realization, I tried again to clarify the truth to her. I talked for a long time, explaining what Dafa really is, giving her all the facts and reasons why the persecution was wrong. I clarified the truth in great depth. But I still couldn’t convince her to separate herself from the CCP. She admitted that she admired me as a person and was not against Falun Gong, but felt that the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance were too far-fetched. In her own words, it was “impossible to achieve.” I told her, “If you could achieve it right away, you would no longer be human but a God.”
She went on and said everyone in this world was against her. It was probably more her personality and character at play—she was very argumentative and combative. In fact, she was arrested for assaulting people. No one liked her, including me—I talked to her because, as a Dafa practitioner, I felt a sense of duty to clarify the truth to her.
Before long, Mei was transferred to another cell after she picked a fight with another inmate. I thought I would never see her again but, before long, she was back in our cell, this time in handcuffs and shackles. I thought, “Great. We meet again. I can continue to clarify the truth.” But she still didn’t want to listen.
Two days before Mei was released, I decided to try one last time. I told her, “I want to talk to you because we may never see each other again. If you miss this opportunity to quit the CCP and its youth organizations, I will feel very sad for you. After you go home, if someone else talks to you about Dafa and tries to help you quit the Party, I hope you don’t miss the chance. What do you think? How about you quit the Young Pioneers first?” I didn’t expect her response but she agreed, “Okay. Why not?” I was so relived. This proves that perseverance will eventually win out!
Right before Mei was released, she hugged me and tears covered her face. She told me I was such a good person and she didn’t want to leave me. I told her, “You have already chosen to side with good and will have a bright future. You will change after you’re released—you have to remember Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance when conflicts arise.” More surprisingly, Mei and my old cell head showed up at the detention center the day I was released to support and congratulate me. I was so touched.
Ling and I were truly predestined to meet. We arrived at the detention center on the same day. For the first nine months there, we slept right next to each other. Despite the sleeping arrangements changing several times, we always ended up together—such a strong predestined relationship!
Before I went to sleep each night, I whispered to Ling and clarified the truth to her. She listened but never said anything. When I asked her if she had joined the CCP or any of its youth organizations, she said she hadn’t. I found it hard to believe, as she was only a year younger than me—people of our generation were forced to join the Young Pioneers at the very least. Especially since Ling was from the city and worked in a government agency, it would be very strange if she hadn’t joined the CCP or any of its youth organizations. After that conversation, she no longer wanted to listen when I talked about Dafa. I resented her and gradually distanced myself. I no longer talked to her or helped her.
Ling was different from the other inmates. Most inmates were uneducated and rude—it didn’t affect me much when they refused to quit the Party. Ling, however, was different—she was well educated, polite, and gentle—it really bothered me that I couldn’t get through to her and make her understand the importance of cutting all ties with the CCP. Luckily, I caught myself right away with this incorrect thought. I shouldn’t have resented or ignored her just because she didn’t quit the Party. What made me so upset was that I couldn’t help her anymore. When I harbored such strong resentment, how was she ever going to learn the truth and be saved? I absolutely could not hold onto resentment!
I rectified my thinking, “Maybe she really has never joined any of the CCP’s youth organizations.” I was friendly with her again. Before Ling was released, I tried one more time to convince her to quit the CCP. She said, “I truly have never joined anything. Umm ... how about the Little Red Guards? Does that count?” “Yes,” I told her. “It’s also a youth organization of the CCP.” To my surprise, she agreed to quit the Little Red Guards. If I’d given up on her, this being would have lost her chance to be saved.
Cai has a great predestined relationship with Dafa. Dafa saved her life once before, but she didn’t realize it. A few years before we met in the detention center, she was detained for a month in Beijing and met an elderly practitioner. The practitioner told her that Dafa was a great practice and clarified the facts surrounding the persecution but didn’t mention anything about quitting the CCP.
This time, Cai was framed and betrayed by her fiance who involved her in his wrongdoings. When she found out, Cai jumped off the fifth floor of a building but miraculously survived. Because of her suicidal tendencies, she was cuffed to the side rail of a bed when she was put in our cell. I clarified the truth to her, but she cut me short, “I know Falun Gong is good. I’ve met a practitioner before and she told me all about it. And Falun Gong practitioners are all so nice.” When I asked her if she’d quit the CCP, she shook her head and said she had never heard of it. I told her it was important to separate oneself from the Party, and she agreed to quit the Young Pioneers right away.
I told Cai, “Because you believe Dafa is good and the persecution is wrong, you were protected and didn’t get hurt when you jumped off a building. Dafa saved you. Who could survive a fall from so high up?” She said, “Is that so? At the moment, all I wanted was to die. But who knows what happened. I, too, thought it was strange that I lived.” I told her, “Dafa saved your life. This is how extraordinary Dafa is! You can’t have suicidal thoughts anymore. Killing oneself is also killing. You must not commit suicide.” She nodded.
Qian, an inmate, had severe swelling from the waist down. When she came to our cell, it was so severe that her skin became translucent. She couldn’t walk and needed help going to the bathroom. She was still made to work in the workshop sitting down. She told us the swelling was caused by a herniated disc. She had actually been scheduled for an operation before she was arrested.
I clarified the truth to her and she agreed to quit the CCP and its youth organizations. I told her, “After you’re released, try to find a copy of Zhuan Falun and read it—it will help you tremendously. For now, all you can do is recite ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’ You’ll be surprised to see how powerful it is!”
I didn’t follow up with Qian after that conversation because I didn’t know if she would sincerely recite the two auspicious phrases. If she didn’t get better, she might think negatively about Dafa. But a week later, Qian came to me and said, “My back pain is much better now. The swelling is less. I can walk without much pain. It really works to recite ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!’” I told her, “It’s not just because you recited those two phrases, it’s also because you quit the CCP. As soon as you separated yourself from the Party, the higher beings started taking care of you.” I told her to keep it up and tell her family about it too when she was released. She gladly agreed. Qian was released on medical parole four months later.
Yi arrived at the detention center late one night. The next morning, she stood right next to me during roll call. When I found out that she was most likely only going to be in custody for a couple days, I seized the opportunity and clarified the truth to her. Although I didn’t have a lot of time to explain everything in depth, she understood what I was saying and agreed to quit the CCP. I was really happy for her.
An hour and a half after roll call, Yi was released. Even she was surprised that it happpened so quickly. It may have seemed like a coincidence that I helped her quit the Party during the short amount of time during roll call, but I knew it was all Master’s arrangement. If it weren’t for his arrangement, she wouldn’t have stood right next to me. I sincerely thanked Master in my heart.
I had a lot of time to clarify the truth to the inmates. If I couldn’t get through to someone, I tried again the next day. There were also incidents where an inmate was released or transferred before I could clarify the truth to her—there were more than 40 of them. I was sad to see them go and felt guilty about it—I let them down. I wouldn’t have another chance to make it up to them.
I helped a total of 116 inmates quit the CCP during my 14 months there. I memorized their names in order and recited them over and over again until I had a chance to relay the list to a practitioner who helped post the declarations on the Minghui website. I couldn’t have done it without Master’s help or the local practitioners’ righteous thoughts and support. I want to thank Master for watching over me every step of the way, my attorneys for representing and fighting on my behalf, all the practitioners for their continuous efforts petitioning for my release, and my family for their love and support.
The little over a year in detention was the biggest tribulation I’d ever encountered. I never suffered worse mistreatment or hostility. I was made to sit on a small stool for hours on end without moving even a little. My buttocks festered, and the pain was excruciating. Doing night duty was the hardest thing I had to endure. I stood until my back and legs ached so badly that I couldn’t last one second longer. I was pushed to my limits physically and mentally.
During my detention, a tooth fell out, and I couldn’t wear my denture anymore. I still put it in to support my facial structure but I could no longer chew anything. My food intake fell, and I lost weight rapidly. But I still had to work long hours in the workshop. I also developed a painful condition affecting the tendons connecting my thumb and my wrist. The thumb on my left hand was red and swollen.
Besides long hours in the workshop, I also helped the inmates fold their comforters on a daily basis. Despite always having the best intentions, I was often treated unfairly and falsely accused. My human notions and attachments sometimes got the best of me and posed huge xinxing tests. That was for me to prove that I could endure and persevere. This was the biggest test in my cultivation.
Being detained is an unfortunate event for most people, but for this cultivator, it turned out to be a good thing. I was able to temper my will in that complex environment and came out stronger. I improved my xinxing interacting with all kinds of people and elevated my realm of being. Facing inmates with different opinions and ideas, I grew more confident in my ability to clarify the truth. I was able to rise above and beyond the tribulation and unfavorable circumstances and let my true nature emerge.
Without this tribulation, where else could I have suffered such hardships? Where else could there have been such great opportunities to improve my xinxing with the help of so many people? Once I realized that, I was grateful for all the hardships and suffering. As I held myself to the standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and continuously cultivated my heart, I became more compassionate and selfless. It gives me such joy to walk my own path in cultivation, do what Master asks of us, and fulfill my sacred prehistoric vows.