(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master, and fellow practitioners!
Today, I would like to share some insights and experiences from my cultivation over these past few years.
I remember a summer day two years ago when I had a conflict with someone during the day which didn’t end well. By nighttime, the weather was extremely hot, and I needed to sleep with a fan on. Suddenly, I realized that I had developed a fever. I felt extremely cold throughout my entire body. I covered myself with a thick blanket and wrapped myself tightly from head to toe, not daring to expose any skin. Despite this, I continued to shiver uncontrollably, and my teeth chattered violently. It was a coldness I had never experienced before. I felt as though I had been abandoned on an icy glacier, utterly alone and desolate.
During this time, negative thoughts relentlessly bombarded my mind: “Your cultivation is poor, you always fail these tests; you don’t deserve to continue to cultivate. You will slowly freeze to death, and there’s nothing you can do!” I tried to push away these negative thoughts, knowing they weren’t truly mine, but they were numerous and powerful. My righteous thoughts were weak at that moment, and I felt surrounded by negative substances. I was almost in a state of despair. Tears streamed down my face as I repeatedly recited, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” yet I still felt powerless against the evil, and endured it passively.
After shivering for over two hours, a thought suddenly struck me: “The evil beings are persecuting me. You want to see me fall and die. But, I am the lord of my world, and all sentient beings in my world await my consummation, so they can enter the new cosmos. When you persecute me, aren’t my countless sentient beings facing misery? How many of my sentient beings will be killed because I passively acknowledge and endure this persecution? Didn’t I come here to save my sentient beings? Can I lie here passively under the blanket while the evil persecutes my sentient beings?” When I thought about this, I began to cry out loud. I was deeply saddened for my sentient beings.
After a while, I wiped away my tears, and said with uttermost determination: “I am the lord, I am the king, and I will fight for my sentient beings. I am willing to give everything to protect my sentient beings. None of you deserve to persecute my sentient beings! I will fight to protect my sentient beings!” In that instant, I felt that my entire body was filled with the deepest righteous thoughts, and more than half of the negative thoughts disappeared.
I knew Master was helping me and giving me strength! I quickly threw off the blanket, ignored my still-shivering body and chattering teeth, sat down in the lotus position, and began to send righteous thoughts. The power at that moment was immense. It was as if I was like a victorious general on the battlefield. I felt something continuously flowing out of my head, the cold feeling diminished, and warmth returned to my body. After about an hour-and-a-half, my body had returned to normal, and all the negative thoughts were completely cleared away.
This physical experience came quickly and intensely, from passive acceptance and endurance to actively and powerfully eliminating evil. It marked a pivotal transformation. Previously, my passive endurance stemmed from a self-centered perspective. I felt I didn’t do well in my tribulations and was close to giving up. I was looking at it from the perspective of personal cultivation. Even though I recognized that those negative thoughts weren’t mine, I lacked the righteous thought to eliminate them. However, after realizing my responsibility and mission as the master of my world chosen by the Creator, and completely letting go of myself and focusing solely on protecting sentient beings, at that moment, my righteous thoughts were as firm as a rock, powerful enough to split a mountain.
It is because this thought met the standards of that level that Master helped me melt the endless glacier, reawaken the lives trapped under the glacier, and give new life to those beings. Everything was done by Master. I merely had the desire.
This experience enabled me to eliminate much of my selfishness. It allowed me to always consider the safety of sentient beings and my responsibilities in any situation during cultivation. It also enabled me to be naturally and sincerely considerate and help others as much as possible when facing difficulties, conflicts, and problems.
About three or four months ago, we were in a critical stage for Shen Yun promotions. During this time, I went through a process of clearing away thought karma that lasted about a month.
This time, the tribulation came in a strange way. During the first few days, I felt a sudden sense of jealousy and resentment for no reason. Then a very strong force of thought karma surged toward me. It included jealousy, resentment, suspicion, competition, extremism, arrogance, selfishness, ego, and fear.
Master taught us:
“Because one is lost among everyday people, one will often form in one’s mind thoughts for fame, benefits, lust, anger, and so on. Over time, these thoughts become the powerful thought karma.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
During those days, apart from sleeping, my mind was constantly bombarded by negative thoughts. Some even incited arguments and discord, and I had an urge to argue and insult people. I knew that this was thought karma, different from the usual attachments, and they came fiercely. I also understood that they were a big interference to my Shen Yun promotion. I concentrated my thoughts to deny and eliminate them as much as possible. Even when I was working, promoting Shen Yun, selling tickets, or doing anything else, I tried hard to distinguish, reject, and clear them.
However, they were too numerous and strong, just like a large ball of karma that continued to assault me. If I wasn’t careful, I could be drawn into this negative thought karma, and conflicts could arise from the human mind. Every day, it felt as if I was constantly battling these human notions and distorted thoughts from the outside. Each time, I tried hard to distinguish between my true self and the false me, and finally, I sent forth righteous thoughts to completely clear out those evil beings. However, each time, I knew I hadn’t completely purged them; some still existed.
During that time I felt terrible and was frantic given the thought karma. I needed to remind myself to distinguish between my true self from the false me. I needed to recite the Fa and send righteous thoughts constantly. These evil beings also kept observing me. They often launched fierce attacks when my righteous thoughts were weak, they injected thoughts into my mind such as dissatisfaction, accusations, distrust, and arbitrary judgments. Sometimes, I would be swayed by these thoughts, I’d become increasingly angry, and was unable to shake them off for several hours.
I knew I had to continue to be firm with my righteous thoughts, and deny and eliminate them, in order to move forward. During those days, whenever I had time, I studied the Fa and sent righteous thoughts for long periods.
After about ten days, I was less swayed by negative thoughts, and my true self became clearer and stronger. I could generally distinguish thought karma at the first moment and know that these thoughts weren’t mine. I am following the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, and I am selfless. I am able to give up everything in the secular world. But this thought karma is extremely selfish and corrupt, and has demonic nature. I could not allow such thought karma to dominate my mind and body.
Twenty days later, my righteous thoughts became strong to the point where I was rarely swayed by these negative thoughts any longer. However, strangely, they were still numerous and continued to flood toward me. I was puzzled—why was this situation persisting? Was there some attachment I hadn’t identified? Perhaps I didn’t root out that fundamental issue?
One day, I studied “Fa Teaching Given at the 2004 Chicago Fa Conference.” Master said:
“Of course, we don’t acknowledge any of the things that the old forces arranged—I as your master don’t acknowledge them, and Dafa disciples of course don’t acknowledge them either. (Applause) But after all, they did do what they wanted to do, so there is all the more reason for Dafa disciples to do even better and cultivate themselves well in the course of saving all beings. When you encounter ordeals during your cultivation, you have got to cultivate yourself and look at yourself. That doesn’t mean you are acknowledging the ordeals arranged by the old forces and trying to do well amidst the ordeals they have arranged. That’s not the case. We negate even the very emergence of the old forces and everything that they’ve arranged; we don’t even acknowledge their existence. We’re fundamentally negating all of their things, and all of, and only, the things you do while negating and getting rid of them is mighty-virtue. It’s not that you’re cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them, not acknowledging even the elimination of their ordeals’ manifestations.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2004 Chicago Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume IV)
Reading this passage shook me to my core. That’s right! For so many days, I had been focusing on distinguishing and purging this thought karma. I knew it was the greatest interference to Shen Yun promotion. I had been sending righteous thoughts to eliminate them. But, I had overlooked that the root source of these thoughts was arranged by the old forces; they had been forcibly imposed on me during my long journey through cycles of reincarnation. They made it difficult for me in this life to distinguish my true self when I have to fulfill my vows and save sentient beings. Wasn’t I acknowledging their arrangements? Wasn’t I striving to do well within the tribulations they arranged? Wasn’t I essentially on the side of the old forces? No wonder this tribulation seemed endless, and thought karma persisted. This was clearly the old forces obstructing me from doing well in the three things!
As soon as I realized this, I felt electrified. I could feel intense swelling in my head, as if many negative substances were flowing down. Righteous thoughts surged outward from every cell of my body. I immediately crossed my legs in the lotus position, formed the jie-yin position with my hands, and sent powerful righteous thoughts. I was eliminating all mechanisms and networks the old forces had set up in my dimensional field. I thoroughly denied all arrangements made by the old forces. I even denied and purged all stubborn notions and attachments that were forcibly imposed on me through cycles of reincarnations. I thoroughly eliminated all arrangements made by the old forces that interfered with my Shen Yun promotion. During the process of sending righteous thoughts, my mind was extremely concentrated — I couldn’t stop. After nearly two hours, my righteous thoughts gradually relaxed. At that moment, I felt my dimensional field suddenly become clear. The constant flow of thought karmas mostly stopped. Over the next few days, I continued to strengthen my sending of righteous thoughts, completely denying all persecution by the old forces. About three days later, all the negative thoughts were completely cleared. My mind returned to calmness, and I could work normally again.
This interference from thought karmas lasted a month. It made me realize clearly, that no matter what difficulties we face, we must immediately and thoroughly deny all arrangements made by the old forces. Based on denying the old forces’ arrangements, we walk righteously on the path arranged by Master for us. That is the most righteous, best, and shortest path.
As a beautician, I own a small skincare studio at home. Most of my clients are Chinese people.
While I provide skincare treatments, there is plenty of time to chat with them. It’s very natural for our conversations to turn to faith, Falun Dafa, the greatness of Dafa, and the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) persecution of Falun Dafa. Some of my clients have very upright values and a deep understanding of the CCP’s brutality. They know that only by getting rid of communism, will a nation have hope. After clarifying the truth of Dafa to them, most of them quit the CCP organizations or express interest in reading Zhuan Falun.
However, there were also some clients who had their own opinions when I talked about the CCP’s corruption and nature. They would even get agitated and debate with me. Initially, I would argue back, but later I found that there is no reason for arguing. I simply needed to calm down and look within myself. I was startled when I truly looked within and discovered so many negative attachments: competitiveness, jealousy, looking down on others, saving face, vanity, arrogance, and an unwillingness to be criticized.
With so many human attachments, how could I truly save people? When I talked to people, I was always defending these attachments, protecting myself from being hurt, and focusing only on myself, without considering others. Naturally, without the power of the Fa, I couldn’t have saved people.
Once I corrected my attitude, those who had argued with me gradually became less agitated. Some started listening silently, and some even apologized. They admitted I made valid points. After years of clarifying the truth to them, they went from rejecting the truth, to now watching the self-media programs every day that I recommended. They even share them with their friends and relatives, and help many people understand the truth and see through the evil nature of the CCP.
What I just shared are some reflections over the years of my cultivation. I deeply understand how far I lag behind Master’s requirements. Stubborn attachments and notions often prevent me from being more diligent. But, deep within me, I cherish the preciousness of Dafa, Master’s compassion and earnest expectations. I also understand the importance of cherishing every life in this world and the precious human body, which is bestowed upon me by Master for the sake of cultivation, validating the Fa, and saving people.
In the days ahead, I hope to advance diligently with fellow practitioners, cultivating a compassion that melts even steel, and saving more sentient beings!
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2024 Canada Fa Conference)