(Minghui.org)
Greetings, Master!Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I actually didn’t plan to write an article for this Fa conference. The biggest obstruction was because I know that I have not cultivated well enough. But I want to express my gratitude to Master by sharing a little bit of my cultivation experience. Without Master’s protection, I would not have been able to come so far.
I was fortunate to obtain the Fa in Japan in 1996, and I officially joined The Epoch Times media project in 2004. Having come so far, although there have been ups and downs, I have managed to overcome them with the help of fellow practitioners. However, there are no free rides in cultivation. In the media project, not only did I not cultivate myself well, I even acquired a whole load of attachments, such as being attached to doing things, pursuing fame, relying on others, and validating myself. An event four years ago helped me to thoroughly recognize the danger of the attachment to fame.
That project required the team’s cooperation and I was arranged to be in charge of looking for the venue, cooperating with the team, and making the arrangements for the live event. By rights, I should have felt honored for being able to participate in the project and should have completed my tasks well, quietly, all by myself. However, during the process of doing this work, I felt that I had some sales experience, and this was topped off with encouragement and compliments from others. My desire to gain fame, show off, and validate myself kept growing stronger. In the end, I behaved as if the whole project was managed by me alone, although I was just a contact person.
As I did not get rid of many attachments, the person-in-charge stripped me of all the contacts that I was supposed to make. This originally was a good opportunity for me to look within and improve my xinxing. However, I was obstinate and stubbornly held onto human principles. Under the effects of jealousy, although I said that I would cooperate with the person-in-charge, behind that was my desire to prove my innocence, gain sympathy from others, and indirectly prove that I was more capable than the person-in-charge. Therefore, I caused conflicts and unknowingly put a lot of stress on the person-in-charge. Thinking back, I turned myself into a hypocritical and vane person who tried to show others how good I was, as if I cultivated for others. That was so dangerous!
I still remember that an event required us to change the venue at the last minute. After receiving the client’s phone call, I was supposed to report to the person-in-charge before making a decision. As I was already accustomed to making my own decisions, and I only thought about myself without respecting others, I just directly made a decision and reported only after that. The person-in-charge reprimanded me in front of everyone, “Why didn’t you confirm with me first?” That caused me a great loss of face, and I did not look within to see that this was caused by my attachment to fame, gain, and jealousy, which had made me think that I could call the shots.
Instead, I looked outward and felt that others were unjustified in treating me like that. This caused me to have attachments, such as dissatisfaction, grudges, and feeling inferior. It is only now when I look back, that I can understand how difficult it has been for the person-in-charge. She looked at problems from the perspective of the company, and her heart was for the clients. If I continued to do things my way, a wrong decision could have brought great losses to the sentient beings and the project. Cultivation is really very serious and the demands on us are getting higher. I did not improve myself in accordance with the Fa and was brutally taken advantage of by the old forces, such that I almost made a big mistake. Now that I think back, I was already on the brink of danger at that time. If not for Master watching over me and fellow practitioners’ tolerance, I really would not have overcome this trial.
Every time I go through a tribulation, I feel really uncomfortable in my heart. I usually try to sleep or watch videos to relieve the pain and escape reality, instead of trying to overcome the tribulation based on the Fa and looking for problems in my xinxing. I did not treat myself as a cultivator, and the tribulations thus became greater. The old forces are also eagerly waiting to force me out of the project so that I would leave the cultivation environment. I did not know how to look within, and I was also afraid that others would speak badly about me, saying I often make mistakes. Despite this, fellow practitioners still looked for me to exchange insights relentlessly, hoping that I could quickly overcome the disturbances. At that time, I was not able to concentrate when I studied the Fa and went to work with a heavy heart, and did not do my work with all my heart. I had no desire to save sentient beings. Negative moods suppressed me so much that I really wanted to escape. However, Master was always protecting and enlightening me.
At that time, my husband, a fellow practitioner, needed to go to his mother’s house to take care of his elderly mother and his younger brother who had been diagnosed with late stage cancer. He thus also had no group cultivation environment, was often in a restless mood and especially needed me to take care of him. However, at that time, I had been looking for excuses to escape the tribulation I was supposed to face. In addition, I could not let go of my affection for my husband, so I applied for a period of leave from my manager and only kept my task of delivering newspapers. My manager thought about it and asked me calmly, “Are you really doing this to take care of your family or are you just trying to escape?” This sentence really got me. Actually, I was being controlled by the attachments to feeling inferior, and to fame and gain, from not being able to produce any results. They made me keep wanting to find an excuse to escape. She said to me calmly, “If you take this leave, it may be very hard for you to return. The sentient beings in your world are waiting for you to save them and bring them home.” Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I knew that I had not lived up to Master’s benevolent salvation. I had also let down the sentient beings who had been waiting for me to be saved. I only thought about my own feelings. I was so selfish.
Master said,
“To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,Let joy be found in hardship.Physical pains count little as suffering,Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest....”(“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin).
I understood that I should tolerate hardships in cultivation instead of thinking that I came to the human world to enjoy life. I understood that the knowing side of me fundamentally did not want to leave the project, so I could not choose to escape. I must be responsible for my own cultivation and for sentient beings. Finally, I decided not to take the leave. After communicating with my husband based on the Fa, he also supported my decision. I now no longer have any thoughts of escaping, and I am progressing in the project in a steadfast manner.
There are no small things in cultivation. It is critical that one truly cultivates oneself.
In the project, I often need to do work such as sending emails and letters to clients. These seem like small matters in an ordinary company. However, in the media project, any attachment will be exposed. As I did not get rid of my attachments to doing things, to being impatient, being scared of trouble, and being afraid of being criticized, I kept making mistakes at work. These attachments manifested in that the size of the fonts in my emails became irregular, the contents were weird, there were additional or missing words, the formatting on the envelopes was strange, or I would miss some client information. Everyone was very troubled by my mistakes and they reminded me, “This is because you are not putting your heart into it. You are only considering yourself but not the project. That is the reason for this result.” This sentence deeply stabbed my inner heart. But thinking about it, what they said is true. If I had thought about the matter from their perspectives, I would think that an inadvertent mistake could cause a bad impression on the clients and tarnish the company’s reputation, which would affect our ability to save sentient beings. So I tried my best to curb my impatience and correct my attitude so that I could settle every small matter with a serious attitude. In addition, fellow practitioners also helped me proof my work every time, so mistakes were minimized. Here, I would like to thank them for their silent sacrifices.
A practitioner told me, “In the past, the practitioners involved in sales had taken a touching path of Fa-validation. Now, they are creating even greater effects in other projects. Since you stayed behind, there must be certain things that you need to do. This is also your mission!” Thinking back about the practitioners who were so devoted to the media project, we are full of gratitude. At that time, everyone had righteous thoughts and acted righteously, such that they persisted in publishing the newspaper. Although I was following in the footstep of others in sales, I was just taking a free ride and did not really cultivate myself solidly during the process. In my heart, I was still escaping from the attachments that I was unwilling to face.
During business hours, I had to face countless rejections every day. That filled my heart with attachments such as fear and desire. When I saw other practitioners doing better than me, I was not happy for them. Instead, my jealousy and competitive mentality grew. I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Why can’t I do it when others can? Why am I always rejected by clients?” Then I realized, “How can you save sentient beings when you have such an unclean heart? Are you really believing in Master and the Fa?” I needed to face these fundamental attachments that I had been stubbornly holding onto, get rid of them, and cherish this rare cultivation opportunity. By going through such lessons time and again, I totally understand that it is entirely because of my own problems that I could not get any advertisements.
I remember once when I worked with a practitioner on sales. As my righteous thoughts were not strong enough and I had the attachment to protecting myself and vying with other practitioners, I did not do my best to support the task. In the end, the client did not give us sufficient time to clarify the truth. After returning to the office, I only felt disappointment for not being able to get the contract signed immediately, but that practitioner was full of regret for not being able to clarify the truth to the potential client. Comparing my selfish attitude with his pure heart to save people, I saw the difference between our cultivation states. After that, Master arranged another opportunity for us to meet, and this time, there were twice as many people than in the previous meeting.
As long as we have the heart to save people, Master will arrange predestined people to come and listen to the truth. However, when I was writing this article, I was still on the verge of overcoming this test. As I did not let go of my human attachments, thoughts, and emotions, I caused many delays in saving predestined sentient beings.
I want to walk a Fa-validation path openly and with dignity in sales. I understand that only by abiding by the three things that Master requires us to do, will I be able to attain that. I have to study the Fa more, strengthen my sending forth righteous thoughts, look within when I meet with problems, and join the big group Fa study actively. Only by maintaining a good cultivation state will I be able to save more sentient beings.
I remember that when I first joined The Epoch Times, a thought was etched deep into my heart, which was to help The Epoch Times become available in every corner of Japan. Now, when I interact with Japanese people, I’ve discovered that many people still do not know about Falun Dafa, and the Japanese media seldom report about the practice either. However, Fa-rectification is almost coming to an end and there are still so many people who have not understood the truth and been saved. The time that we have now is being prolonged by benevolent great Master by enduring great hardship. I’ve asked myself if I have any attachments that I cannot let go, or what reasons do I still have for not being diligent in my cultivation? I want to truly let go of self and cooperate with the group as a whole.
I once took part in a trade fair and met a fan of The Epoch Times. He was very excited when he saw me and said, “I admire you all for your courage. All the best to The Epoch Times! I support The Epoch Times!” Thank you, Master, for using this man’s words to encourage us. I know deeply that doing well in the media project goes hand in hand with Japanese Dafa practitioners’ righteous thoughts. I cherish this affinity that we have and thank all the practitioners for their silent sacrifices. In order to save more sentient beings, let us cultivate diligently together and do well on this last leg of our Fa-rectification journey.
The above are my limited understandings. Kindly correct me if there is any room for improvement.
Thank you, Master.Thank you, fellow practitioners.
(Selected article presented at the 2025 Japan Fa Conference)