(Minghui.org) I am a single mother with two young children. My husband and I got divorced seven years before I started practicing Falun Dafa. I nonetheless try to make sure that my children still experience the love of a big family like other children. We thus maintain a close and harmonious relationship with my ex-husband’s family, including my ex-husband and my parents-in-law.
When I first obtained the Fa, I used my free time to study Dafa and do the exercises at home. After cultivating for more than a year, I began to look for fellow practitioners in my area, and joined a group Fa study.
My mother-in-law follows online news and spends three to four hours every day consuming unofficial media. She has been deeply misled by slanderous information about Dafa that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) published. Because of that, she saw my joining a group Fa study and interacting with other practitioners as taking part in some sort of suspicious organization and ignoring family responsibilities. Even worse, she became extremely fearful of the possibility that I might harm her one day, like those so-called “murder cases.”
I had already explained to her many times that practicing Dafa was very beneficial to my health, mind, and work. I had also clarified the truth to her about the CCP’s persecution of Falun Gong practitioners, and set her straight about some of the inaccurate rumors in the media. I thought she had understood and formed a correct understanding about Dafa, but I recently learned that she still misunderstood Dafa.
She went to my children’s clothing store one day and told my employee that her daughter-in-law (me) had been deceived. “I can’t talk to her anymore. I’ve given up on her now…” After hearing this, I looked inward. What attachments did I have that caused her to keep misunderstanding me and Dafa? I decided to clarify the truth to her again. A fellow practitioner shared a truth-clarification experience handbook compiled by practitioners with me. I found one section really useful, entitled, “Using legal means to validate the Fa – complaint letter to Youth Daily.” This letter systematically and logically resolved all the issues encountered during truth-clarification.
I went to my mother-in-law’s home one day to clarify the truth again.
I approached my mother-in-law and asked, “Why did you say that I had been deceived? Please tell me specifically what part of my Falun Gong practice has made me deceived and fooled?” She denied saying that and said that she did not mean it. Facing her denial, I thought, “How should I clarify the truth now? She does not want to admit that she is against me practicing Dafa.”
I continued, “Mom, you know that behind the word ‘deceived’ hides a bigger problem. I know you have never supported my practice. If you really had supported me, you would not have said words like those, right?”
She became angry and raised her voice, saying, “You have no right to come here to accuse me!” I responded, “Mom, this is so unreasonable. You talked about me behind my back and you still don’t think I have the right to come and ask you about it?” After I said this, I felt that the atmosphere had become very tense. I spent some time calming myself down, and thought, “I need to take a different approach.”
I started to remind her of what she had said in the past, “Mom, do you remember when you used to go to a temple? Dad said that you were blinded by it. You told him that those words would cause him to incur serious karma.” She responded, “Yes, yes. If he said that, he would definitely incur serious karma.” I continued to ask, “So, let me ask you... Since I practice Falun Gong, and you said that I’ve been deceived. Isn’t this a similar issue?”
My words seemed to trigger something deep in her heart. She froze and could not respond. She started to cry, complain, and shirk responsibility. She said she loved me more than she loved her own daughter, but I hurt our mother-daughter relationship. Hearing this, I felt a bit angry, but I quickly calmed down, and thought, “If I let my emotions get aroused today, I won’t be able to save her.”
I continued by saying, “Mom, you know that I’ve been a single mother after the divorce. Who has been taking care of my children and working? It’s me, isn’t it? Then why would you say that practicing Falun Gong made me ignore my family, children, and job?
“Since the divorce, I alone have taken care of all the living expenses for me and my children. My ex-husband has only contributed to our son’s tuition. Since I started practicing Dafa, my business has been booming. Even during the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve run my business according to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, which helped my store’s income double compared to previous years.”
I said, “Mom, you said I want to join some kind of improper gathering? I go there to study the Fa. We read Dafa together and share our understandings – what’s wrong with that? It is like how you go to the temple for spiritual practice. The nature is the same, only the form is different.”
My mother-in-law responded, “I go to the temple only because I’m getting old, have poor eyesight, and have shaky hands. I did not go when I was young like you. One woman wanted to be a nun, but a monk told her to go home and take care of her family first, then come back when she was older.” I responded, “So mom, what about those monks that are ordained at a young age? Who said that one can only cultivate when they are older? That is unreasonable. I only join a half-day group study once per week – compared to those people that spend time drinking and partying, this is nothing. Our cultivation method is actually very suitable for modern living. While I practice, I can take care of my finances, children, and family at the same time. This is different from monks, who must cut off worldly ties, leave their families, change their names, and completely physically and mentally devote themselves to a monastic life.”
I said, “Mom, you often follow wrongful conviction cases, and have said that you feel sad for those people. But do you know that the CCP has been persecuting Falun Gong practitioners for 26 years? The practitioners are illegally detained, and while still alive are subjected to forced organ harvesting for the transplant industry for lucrative profits. But you have never shown any concern for their suffering. Isn’t this the same as standing by and ignoring crimes, just because these kind of crimes do not directly affect us? People of conscience around the world speak out to end this persecution. I have given you materials about this, but I’m guessing you have not read them, right?”
She responded, “I don’t like to read that kind of stuff.” I said, “I knew that if you had read and understood it, you would not oppose my practice.” She said, “You may not be afraid, but I am afraid.” I said, “Mom, there is nothing to be afraid of. I practice Falun Gong openly and with dignity. The government has never banned it. If it were illegal, there would be an official document explaining that.”
My mother-in-law suddenly remembered that she had to feed grandmother lunch. Grandmother had suffered a stroke and was left bedridden and unable to walk. Her mind was sometimes clear and sometimes confused. Once I stepped into grandmother’s room, she said, “Your mother-in-law is arguing [with you] like a lawyer!” She then held my hand and said, “Darling, you are such a kind and virtuous person. How could your husband want to leave you? I feel very sorry for you.” I responded gently, “Grandma, don’t worry about me. I’m living a happy and comfortable life. Please don’t be sad for me.”
I realized that grandmother, a sentient being, had chosen to stand on the side of kindness. She already had begun to understand the truth, and her thoughts about justice had already helped her be saved. This was arranged for her by Master – a chance for her to make a choice. Through this incident, I deeply felt Master’s immense compassion for all sentient beings.
This experience also allowed me to realize that while reasoning things out with my mother-in-law, I definitely should not have a mindset of arguing and competing with her. I also should not allow her to defame, slander, or insult Dafa, because doing so would cause her own destruction. I would not reach the standard for a Dafa practitioner if I passively tolerated, felt helpless, and let a sentient being insult Dafa. I would not be able to fulfill my sacred vow if I did so.
Through this experience, I let go of the human sentimentality between mother and child and improved in my cultivation. When my mother-in-law cried and grieved for our mother-daughter relationship, it was to trigger my emotion. But my heart was not moved by it and I continued speaking with compassion.
Thank you, everyone, for reading my sharing.