(Minghui.org) I’m in my late 50s and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for 27 years. Even though I was young, I had some severe illnesses, including breast cancer, neurasthenia, and depression. My body and mind were exhausted and I felt hopeless. I often wished that I could just die, but I couldn’t bear to leave my young children and elderly parents. After I began practicing Falun Dafa, my life was renewed, and I was filled with vitality, optimism, and strength.
I have an introverted personality. Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I was narrow-minded, easily became angry, and always thought of the worst possible outcomes. I frequently became upset and argued with my family and friends. As a result, I was physically and mentally drained, deeply pessimistic, and weary of life. I often wondered what the point of living was and thought how wonderful it would be to just end it all.
When I was 15 or 16 years old, I had a conflict with my family. I drank rat poison, and then walked to an abandoned well in an open field. I planned to jump in when I felt the effects of the rat poison, which would spare my family the trouble of burying me. It was evening when I left home. I waited until midnight, but I did not feel any discomfort. I walked to a small hillside near my home because I wanted to see what my family was doing.
The lights were on in my family’s courtyard and many people were searching for me with flashlights. My mother was crying and shouting my name, begging me to come home. I deeply regretted my decision to kill myself. When I returned, my mother hugged me tightly and said, “If you die, I won’t live either.” I somehow miraculously survived, and from then on, I told myself that I must live, at least for my mother’s sake.
Ten years later, after I had a baby, the thought of dying resurfaced. But when I imagined my daughter being left in the hands of a stepmother, suffering from beatings, scorn, and loneliness, my heart ached, and I wept bitterly. When the baby was five months old I considered ending both our lives. I thought of my elderly parents who worked so hard to raise me and provide for my education—who would look after them when they got old? If I died, how much pain would they suffer? Could they even go on living? So, I gave up the idea. But the thoughts of killing myself never truly left me, and I constantly thought of different ways to end my life.
I later learned that many people with depression commit suicide each year, and I can deeply understand their suffering and their inability to escape their pain. I feel incredibly fortunate to have found Falun Dafa, and I sincerely hope that all those who suffered like I once did could learn about Falun Dafa, rebuild their health, both physically and mentally, through Dafa and enter a new, beautiful world, just like I did.
The first time I read Falun Dafa’s main book, Zhuan Falun my soul was deeply shaken. I felt excited and joyful—I discovered a new world! I realized that gods and Buddhas truly exist and that there is a fundamental law governing everything: “Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.” I understood that human life comes from the heavens, and we are here on earth to cultivate, return to our true origins, transcend the suffering of birth, aging, illness, and death, and no longer be trapped in the cycle of reincarnation. I started practicing right away—I was worried that if I hesitated, I might miss my chance to cultivate.
After I studied the Fa I realized that my previous understanding about life and the world was entirely wrong and it was against the fundamental principles of the universe. Due to my education in atheism and the theory of evolution I was very selfish. I only thought about myself and I took advantage of others. At home, I bullied my husband, and I always expected him to do more work while indulging and yielding to me in every way. If things didn’t go my way, I scolded him loudly, regardless of whether we were alone or in public, without considering his self-esteem.
I was especially skilled at the silent treatment—if he didn’t apologize, I wouldn’t relent. At first, he tolerated and gave in to me, but over time, he started to fight back. I couldn’t stand it and even thought of killing myself to retaliate against him. Looking back, I feel very bad about the way I treated him.
If I suffered even the slightest loss at work, I couldn’t stand it and obsessed over finding a way to make up for it. I was constantly caught up in personal interests, struggling over trivial gains, scheming, and competing against others. Yet, I lacked true inner strength. By the age of 19, I developed neurasthenia, and I struggled with severe insomnia. I couldn’t sleep—instead my mind was in constant turmoil, leaving me mentally and physically exhausted. My memory deteriorated and I often experienced blackouts and amnesia. I appeared normal, but in reality, I was barely holding on.
When I was 27 years old, I developed a breast tumor and underwent surgery. The pathology report came out and indicated a precancerous condition. I thought, I’ve always wanted to die, but couldn’t bring myself to commit suicide; now I have no choice. I refused treatment and waited to die. Every time I thought of my poor child and elderly parents, I was overwhelmed with sorrow and I wept. I went to the doctor again, and an ultrasound confirmed that it was breast cancer. The lymph nodes in my armpit were also swollen, indicating that the cancer had already metastasized.
The joy of obtaining the Fa and cultivating made me completely forget about my illness. I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises every day, and cultivated my xinxing. I felt that life finally had meaning and a purpose. Following the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, I continuously elevating my moral character. I stopped being selfish and tried to consider others first.
One day, I suddenly remembered that I had a serious illness. To my amazement, all the symptoms of breast cancer had disappeared! The swollen lymph nodes in my armpit, which had been as large as peanuts, vanished. My sleep also improved significantly, and eventually, I could fall asleep moments after my head touched the pillow—I even needed an alarm clock to wake up in the morning. My memory recovered, and I was able to focus again.
Before I began practicing cultivation, I was brainwashed by the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) atheistic propaganda. I believed there were no gods or consequences for good or evil actions, and there was no afterlife. I followed the CCP’s selfish mindset of “Everyone for themselves.” I was self-centered, greedy, unreasonable, and indifferent toward life. At home, I acted like someone who had the “Princess Syndrome.”
I gradually changed after I began practicing Falun Dafa. I did all the housework and treated my husband, in-laws, and extended family with kindness, tolerance, and genuine care. Over time, I became truly integrated into my husband’s family, and we now share a deep and harmonious bond.
My husband does not practice Falun Dafa. After I started cultivating, he began to repay me for all the ways I mistreated him before, and he treated me even more harshly. Guided by Master’s teachings, I went from being unable to endure, to gradually learning to tolerate; from enduring with tears and resentment, to not taking it to heart and even facing it with a smile. I now encourage, praise, and guide him. When he scolds me angrily, I look inward to find my own shortcomings. I also measure myself with Master’s teachings. I no longer get angry.
After a long process of continually improving xinxing, my husband no longer gets angry or lashes out at me. Our family atmosphere is now harmonious and warm. My daughter even says that I have high emotional intelligence. In reality, I have simply followed Dafa’s standards. Through countless painful tests and tribulations, I removed my attachments to being petty and calculating, as well as my mentality of pride, jealousy, competitiveness, and resentment.
Master said,
“As you know, when a person reaches the Arhat level, in his heart he is not concerned about anything. He does not care at all in his heart for any ordinary human matter, and he will always be smiling and in good spirits. No matter how much loss he suffers, he will still be smiling and in good spirits without any concern.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
Master and Dafa led me out of my narrow-mindedness, selfishness, pettiness, and negative emotions, and showed me how to be broad-minded, optimistic, and resilient.
One day, I heard a fellow practitioner’s husband praise his wife as a “virtuous wife and loving mother.” I realized that my husband never acknowledged me in that way before. When I got home, I asked him, “Let me know if there is something I haven’t done well. I want to know how far I am from being a virtuous wife and loving mother.” To my surprise, he looked at me and said, “You far surpassed being a virtuous wife and loving mother.”
I thought he was being sarcastic or mocking me because he never praised me. But he said, “I’m serious. You’ve surpassed being a virtuous wife and loving mother.” I was very moved. I never expected him to acknowledge me like this. This was all thanks to my practicing Falun Dafa. Thank you, Master! Of course, I still have many shortcomings and I tend to progress slowly in my cultivation. I must cultivate more diligently.
I was a nurse, and after practicing cultivation, I always strove to do better according to Dafa’s standards. I became more diligent and responsible at work, and my skills improved significantly, allowing me to serve my patients better. I sincerely treated them like family, always thinking of their well-being and helping them as much as possible. My patients and their families all spoke highly of me, and even treated me as a family member. Because of this trust and bond, I was also very successful in clarifying the truth to them about Dafa and helping them quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
After I was dismissed from my job for going to Beijing to appeal for Falun Dafa, I found work at a pharmacy. The owner, after getting to know me, had complete trust in me. When I was the only one on duty, he never checked the inventory or counted the money before or after my shifts. There are many other similar examples. Although these may seem like minor things, they all demonstrate how Dafa transformed a once-lost person like me into someone who is trusted and respected.
This is how we cultivate – changing ourselves little by little, constantly improving our morals in all aspects of life.
Despite enduring the CCP’s brutal persecution, I consider myself fortunate. Master and Dafa have given me far more than just physical and mental health. I was totally transformed from someone who was depressed and fragile into someone optimistic and strong, and in this process, my moral character has continued to elevate. I will follow Master back to my long-lost heavenly home, forever free from the suffering of birth, aging, illness, and death. I hope that all people, who also originate from celestial realms, will not miss this precious opportunity and soon obtain the Fa, embark on the path of cultivation, and return to our sacred heavenly homes!