(Minghui.org) My mother-in-law didn’t have to work and was therefore available to help raise my brother-in-law’s son. But she showed no interest in taking care of my son. Because my parents weren’t retired, they had to work and couldn’t take care of him. I had just been transferred to a new workplace and had to put my son in daycare when he was just two months old. He often got sick, and during those years, my son and I suffered a lot, which left me worried and exhausted.
I developed resentment for my mother-in-law. However, I still visited my in-laws during the Chinese New Year holiday and on other major holidays. My relationship with them was neither distant nor close.
After I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998, I realized that peoples’ relationships are determined by their karmic ties, and nothing happens without a reason. Good or not so good predestined relationships are caused by oneself. Master taught me to live according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, so I should be good to everyone, not to mention my relatives. Thus, I began to change.
When my mother-in-law’s family was relocated, I rented a home for them near where I worked so it would be easy for me to help take care of them. At that time, my husband worked in another city, and his two brothers were divorced. I took the initiative to take care of my in-laws.
I visited them two or three times a week and always bought food for them. The neighbors thought I was their daughter, so they asked my mother-in-law who the woman who often came to visit was. She said it was her daughter (my mother-in-law had three sons, but no daughter). The neighbors envied her for having such a filial daughter. When their new home was ready to move into, I paid all the expenses, and I arranged a meal for their family in a restaurant.
Before my mother-in-law passed away, she couldn’t take care of herself. When I took care of her in the hospital, there was a glass partition between the doctor’s office and the ward. Because I took good care of my mother-in-law, the doctor and nurses in the ward asked me if I was her daughter. I said, “No, I’m her daughter-in-law.” In the early years, when I needed help the most, my in-laws didn’t offer any help. If I hadn’t practiced Falun Dafa, I wouldn’t have treated them like I did. Falun Dafa teaches us to let go of our personal interests and be kind to others unconditionally.
When my son and his girlfriend first started dating, I was against it because she was older than he was. She also knew that I wasn’t in favor of their getting married. After they married, she was respectful, but she often told my son that I didn’t like her. After I realized this, I thought, “I am a cultivator and understand that marriage is predestined. I shouldn’t interfere. All I can do is give them my blessing.”
My son and I were talking when the topic of my practicing Falun Gong unexpectadly came up. He said, “My wife asked me why I didn’t interfere with your practicing Falun Gong.” When I asked him how he answered her, he said, “ I told her, ‘I can’t control my mother, it’s her own business. How can a son manage his mother?’” I didn’t say anything at the time, but I realized that they didn’t understand Dafa. If I didn’t represent Dafa well, I would discredit Dafa. They believed the CCP’s lies and propaganda and didn’t understand Dafa. If I did well, they would know that Dafa is good. My doing well would be the best reflection of the truth about Dafa. It would be the best way for me to clarify the truth about Dafa to them.
After my daughter-in-law gave birth, she came to my home to recuperate. I took care of her and the baby and ended up getting about three hours sleep a night. By the time the baby was a month old, I had lost over 10 pounds. She went back to her parents’ home for a month and then came back to live with us for six and a half years. During the day, my husband and I took care of the child. We cooked meals that my daughter-in-law liked and cared for her. When her employer sometimes assigned her heavy workloads and told to do other people’s work, she got upset and complained to me. I used Dafa’s principles to enlighten and help her.
When I listened to Master’s teachings at home, she sometimes said, “When I was in a bad mood, I listened to your Master’s teachings, and my mood improved.” I explained it in a way that she could understand. I told her that Master talked about the principles of being a good person, so she would feel better after listening.
She used to say that the food in the cafeteria at work was delicious, but after she ate what I cooked, she rarely ate in the cafeteria and mostly ate at home. She often said, “You are different from my coworkers’ mothers-in-law. They charge their daughters-in-law for taking care of their own grandchildren. They draw a clear line between their children and them.” I said, “If I didn’t practice Falun Dafa, I would probably be like them. But because I do, I follow Dafa’s requirements. Master tells us that we should consider things from the other person’s perspective in whatever we do, think more about others, and look inward when we encounter conflicts. That way, all conflicts can be resolved. It is Master who taught me to do this.”
Whenever I had an opportunity, I would tell her the facts about Dafa and how Master teaches us not to be tempted by our personal interests and to consider others first. I took good care of them on a daily basis without asking for anything in return and without considering my own self interests. My daughter-in-law no longer told my son that I didn’t like her.
They lived with us until my grandchild went to preschool. They moved to make it easier for the child to go to school, which was just downstairs from their new home. During the six years we lived together, I often talked to her about the beauty of Dafa. Sometimes I told her about how I changed after I started practicing, from changes in my health to changes in my thinking, and in how I handle things differently compared to before I started practicing. I often talked about the huge changes that Dafa brought to my life. She could see that I was healthy. She hadn’t seen me take any medicine during those years and knew that I was in very good health.
My daughter-in-law saw in me that Dafa practitioners always think of others first in whatever they do and take their own personal interests lightly. She changed her previous views of Dafa and gained a new understanding of it. On a family trip, she and I chatted in the car. She said, “I didn’t know much about Falun Gong before, but I have seen from you that practicing Dafa and the exercises is good. Your are very healthy, and we, as your children, have fewer worries. We don’t oppose you practicing Falun Gong.”