(Minghui.org) All my friends know that I practice Falun Dafa and I’m careful about what I say, and keep things confidential. They treat me as their close confidant, but sometimes I don’t handle these situations properly when it comes to practitioners.
For example, one practitioner complained to me about another practitioner. I thought: I don’t see them that often, why is she telling me all this? Is it a reminder that I still have the tendency to talk about others behind their backs?
I looked inward and saw my loopholes. When she began complaining about the other practitioner, my first thought was to join in, thinking: “How can the other practitioner behave like that?” But I immediately realized it was wrong to think this way.
I tried to stop her from complaining about other practitioners, but I still felt some resentment towards her. I thought, “She’s really just like the others say—she bad-mouths and talks about people behind their backs.”
Almost instantly, I realized I was wrong to think this way. I said to myself, “I don’t want this bad mindset of looking down on others. She is here to help me cultivate, and I should be grateful.” I also thanked Master for arranging this opportunity for me to improve myself. As a practitioner, I mustn’t hold any bad thoughts, and all my thoughts should be for the benefit of others.
I rectified my wrong thoughts and said, “Since you two have been classmates and friends for so many years, if she’s done something wrong you should tell her.”
She immediately rejected the idea. “No, I can’t do that. If I do, she’ll blow up!”
“Well, you can reason with her rationally,” I suggested.
“No, I can’t do that,” she insisted.
I was about to continue the conversation, but suddenly realized that I shouldn’t get too involved in their grudges since I can’t see the karmic ties between them. If I say too much, what could have been a good thing might turn into a bad thing. They should work out these disputes themselves, and I should simply offer some kind advice. So, I ended the conversation.
There have been situations in which I stumbled in my xinxing cultivation. A practitioner brought her husband to my place for Fa study. Our husbands used to be classmates and they recently started studying the Fa. I invited them to stay for dinner, which turned out to be a xinxing test for me.
Both men wanted to drink alcohol. The other practitioner and I didn’t say no, thinking that they were only just beginning to read Dafa books, so it didn’t matter much if they drank some alcohol.
However, my husband drank a bit too much. I didn’t like what he was doing, but I didn’t say anything in front of the others. However, in my heart, I felt contempt towards him.
My husband kept saying to me, “Are you done eating?”
I replied, “Can’t you see that we finished eating?” My husband got angry and started yelling at me, and the louder he got, the madder he became.
He completely lost his temper, and I realized that I dropped to the same level as him and failed to uphold my xinxing. I also caused him to create more karma.
The next day I discussed what happened with the other practitioner, and said it was all my fault. “Yes, you were in the wrong,” she replied. “You should have just said yes instead of provoking him.”
I realize that the ego we formed in human society can be very stubborn and sometimes takes advantage of our loopholes to interfere with us. For many years, I’ve tried to let go of my attachment of looking down on others, but I haven’t done well in this respect.
I’m determined to cultivate myself solidly in an upright manner in the remaining time we have left, so that Master needn’t worry so much about me. I’m very grateful for the kind reminders from other practitioners!
Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I was impatient and stuck to my own ways of doing things. After I began practicing I consciously tried to eliminate my old habits. When my husband lost his temper, I endured and didn’t talk back. Sometimes I just kept quiet on the surface but I still felt a bit uneasy inside.
I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for nearly 30 years. Master endured immense suffering for us and extended the time for our cultivation. I must stop cultivating myself in a sluggish manner, and always remember that I’m a Dafa practitioner in every situation, whether I’m with family, friends or relatives. I will do my best to let go of my ego, step out of my human notions and truly cultivate myself solidly.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!