(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2004. I felt sad when I failed to pass cultivation tests, but was happy when I did well.
After I started to practice, my husband demanded that I stop. He even threatened me with a knife to show how serious he was. He stopped this behavior after 14 years, and I’m a diligent practitioner after having been through numerous family tribulations.
I’m a rural junior high school teacher and my husband works at the township’s grain depot. We were introduced to each other and married three months after we met. He has a large family. Besides my parents-in-law, there’s also my grandmother-in-law, a younger sister-in-law, and four older sisters-in-law who are married and often come home to visit.
Because he’s the son my husband was terribly spoiled. I came from a simple farm family, and his five sisters looked down on me. I was a traditional girl and always gave in to them.
My husband lost his job in 2001. The dramatic changes in our family forced him, having been pampered, to face the prospect of looking for another job. He chose cattle farming, a physically demanding occupation that required large amounts of hay and grain. After work, I had to help him. I cut corn stalks and carried 220-pound bags of grain. I developed numerous illnesses, including pain in my legs from the compression of my lumbar spine. It was difficult to sleep at night or even sit down.
I constantly thought about committing suicide but I had to think of my son, who needed me. My sense of responsibility for my child made me strong.
My coworker Ms. Ling, saw how I was suffering and told me, “I’ll lend you a book you should read. If you accept what’s written in it, you have a predestined relationship with it. Maybe it’ll help you get better.” She told me about Falun Dafa and clarified the truth about the persecution. During school vacation in winter she lent me Zhuan Falun, the main text of Falun Dafa, and asked me to read all of it.
After I began reading Zhuan Falun many questions I had about life were answered. The second time I read it I wanted to share with others the principles that I learned. I was so happy that I didn’t even notice the changes in my body. My back and legs used to hurt unbearably when I bent over to chop dumpling filling, wrap dumplings, or do household chores, but I was now free from pain, and felt so happy to be illness-free!
When he saw that I was serious about practicing Falun Dafa, out of fear of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), my husband tried to stop me. I remember a Friday night, two weeks after I started reading the book, when he demanded that I give up my cultivation. He went as far as grabbing a kitchen knife, pressing it against my neck, and threatening to kill me. I didn’t know what to do. Although I was uneasy, I was not afraid.
My father-in-law also tried to persuade me, “You have a good job, but you can’t do anything that the CCP doesn’t allow you to do. You can’t do anything illegal.”
I didn’t know where my righteous thoughts came from. No matter what they said or how they swore at me, I refused to stop practicing. I argued with them for most of that evening. My father-in-law left in anger, and I was exhausted. In a daze late at night, a golden light shone through the door. I woke up with a startled sensation, feeling a warm current coursing through my body, which gave me a sense of relief. All the feelings of grievance and exhaustion vanished, and were replaced by a warm feeling of happiness.
One night I dreamed of five old men who kept saying, “Let her be, let’s just ignore her.” I understood that the evil who prevented me from obtaining the Fa had left. It was Master who saw me being steadfast and helped me. Thank you, Master, for your benevolence!
My husband didn’t allow me to read Dafa books, and he swore at me as soon as he heard anything defaming Dafa. One time, he was helping his cattle-raising friends unload bean cakes. One of the helpers said to him, “Your wife practices Dafa!”
As soon as he came home he screamed at me. He even pulled books out of the box and tried to throw them in the stove, as if he were crazy. I fought with him for the books and blocked the stove with my body. I didn’t know why this happened so suddenly. I silently begged Master to stop him from committing a crime against Dafa.
When he saw me blocking the way and fighting with him, he punched me twice on the back in frustration, and then left. But Zhuan Falun was torn apart. When he took a walk that night I repaired it. I felt wronged and resentful. I wept and told Master, “He committed a crime against Dafa because I haven’t cultivated well.”
It seemed that the trials started whenever the weekend came. I looked forward to going back to work—since I couldn’t read Dafa books at home, and I was able to read them during breaks at work. Ms. Ling helped me to enlighten based on the Fa. Without her timely support it would have been very hard for me to pass the trials.
Because of my strong fear and attachment to my family I didn’t dare to study the Fa at home, let alone do the exercises. I could only read the Fa behind my husband’s back at home. Luckily I spent a lot of time at school, so I was able to study the Fa. I was able to access the Minghui website with Ms. Ling’s help, and I felt immersed in the Fa every day. However, because of my strong fear I seldom passed these family trials. Even though I couldn’t make the breakthrough in my family environment I felt full of hope and no longer felt lost.
My family environment went through great transformations around 2016. Raising cattle is hard work. I constantly reminded myself of Dafa’s standards, and I took the initiative and did all kinds of work. Even though I had a full-time job teaching I cut and bundled corn stalks, and stacked them.
Even though my husband didn’t say it, I knew that deep down, he admired Falun Dafa. He sometimes complained that he was exhausted, but I hadn’t taken any medicine for years, nor did I feel tired even though I was doing heavy farm work. I didn’t feel happy or sad if he made money or not. I conducted myself according to Dafa’s principles, and over time he also began adhering to them.
My husband bought some cattle, and while he was securing them the steel cable caught his ring finger, causing it to bleed profusely. When he went to the clinic the doctor said that the fingers are connected to the heart, and the pain would keep him awake at night, so he prescribed a pain killer. After he returned home, I told him, “Just recite ‘Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!’ Master will help you.”
Even though he didn’t say anything he did as I suggested. His finger only hurt a little, so he only took one painkiller. On the third day, when the doctor changed the dressing, he asked my husband if it hurt. He said no. The doctor didn’t believe him. He knew Master helped him and he was very happy.
My son, who was a graduate student, called me around 11 p.m. in March 2017 and said he had a terrible stomachache. My first thought was to suggest he ask for Master’s help and send forth righteous thoughts. My son occasionally read Dafa books and knew Master and Dafa were good. He hadn’t taken medicine for more than a decade even when he had a cold or fever. But since he wasn’t diligent in his cultivation, I wasn’t sure if it would work for him.
He insisted on not going to the hospital. After he sent forth righteous thoughts for 30 minutes he said he felt much better. Later that night, I had a dream in which many horse-like animals were circling around piles of objects. I realized that my son’s illness was from having kidney stones. After four days he was still in pain, so I asked him to come home.
I understood for my child to have this illness karma elimination was also a test of my faith in Master and Dafa. We read the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts. He felt much better the next day, as his pain was gone and he could eat. We happily kowtowed to Master. But, our zealotry was taken advantage of by the old forces, and he had a relapse. He didn’t have a bowel movement for seven days, and the symptoms were worse at night. My husband was worried. I intensely sent forth righteous thoughts but he didn’t get better. We discussed our cultivation insights and our xinxing changes: We were anxious but when he got better we were happy. We had the attachment to results after sending forth righteous thoughts, as opposed to having faith in Master and Dafa.
My husband came back from herding cattle at noon, and told my son that he would call a taxi to take him to the hospital. When our son said he didn’t want to go, my husband scolded him. He also said something disrespectful about Dafa. They were in a stalemate. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the negative things that manipulated him to interfere with us. We truly wanted Master’s help.
When my husband saw that my son still refused to go, he said, “I’ll call the cab in a short while. If you refuse to go, I will no longer take care of you.”
Unexpectedly, my son said firmly, “I won’t go, as I don’t have any illnesses.”
When my husband heard this, he got so angry that he lay down on the bed and refused to work. I was also worried about my son, as I wasn’t sure about how strong his faith in Master and Dafa was. The atmosphere was extremely tense.
As it was a Saturday, and I went to my mother’s home to help her wash her hair and clean her house. I decided to leave everything to Master, and let go of my attachment to my son. I headed out to my mother’s home.
When I returned home after four p.m., the atmosphere surprised me. My husband and son were waiting for me, and looked happy. The son cheerfully told me that he had two bowel movements while I was gone, his stomach no longer hurt, and he drank a lot of water. I said that this time he completely recovered. I told him that since he had the firm thought of not acknowledging the symptoms as illness, Master was able to take care of him. I asked him to thank Master.
While writing this, I couldn’t hold back my tears. This trial was hard to pass, but the happy feelings after passing through it were something that regular people cannot feel. I came to enlighten afterwards that when a practitioner is going through an illness karma trial, they should firmly not acknowledge it as an illness, and meanwhile have faith in Master and Dafa. When my son said, “I won’t go, as I don’t have any illnesses,” Master was able to take care of him.
I eliminated my anxiety and fear during the process. Before this I didn’t dare to openly do anything related to Dafa. In order to help my child break through this illness karma, I let go of my fear and ego. I sent forth righteous thoughts in an upright manner and worked with my son to make a breakthrough.
This experience changed my husband’s attitude towards Dafa. He went from half-believing to completely believing, and he stopped opposing my practicing.
I’m grateful for Master’s empowerment and enlightenment. In the final moments of the Fa-rectification, I hope to eliminate my attachments as quickly as possible, and help Master save more people!