(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa with my parents in 1996. I often had headaches as a child and had gone to the doctor a lot. When I was in the first year of junior high school in 1998, I had a severe headache and fever, so I rested at home for two weeks. When I was in a daze with a fever, my mother read the Fa to me. After that I never had any more headaches; I had no more illnesses, and I no longer needed medicine.
Jiang Zemin launched the persecution of Falun Gong in 1999. Both of my parents were persecuted. For a long time, my parents were locked up in a brainwashing center, so my schooling was a mess. I basically spent three years of junior high school reading novels. In the third year of junior high school, because I lay on a desk reading novels in class for a long time, my back became hunched.
When I took the junior high school graduation exam, my test score was among the lowest in the entire region. My parents had returned from illegal detention by then and began to pay attention to my studies, but it was too late. My teacher said that I would not have a chance to go to high school.
During the summer vacation after graduating from junior high school, I read Zhuan Falun, and this was the first time I had really read it. I started reading it in the evening and I didn’t sleep that night. The next day, I finished reading the whole book. I thought the book was so good, and my hunchback miraculously straightened that day. From then on, I became determined to keep practicing.
During the summer break, my mother also felt that I had little hope of going to high school and she no longer asked me to study academic subjects, so I studied the Fa the entire break without reviewing my coursework. I went back to junior high afterward. I found that I could keep up with the courses. Everything I hadn’t learned in the past three years seemed to be in my head. During a monthly exam one month after the start of school, I was at the top for all my subjects. My teacher was amazed. A year later, I was admitted to an advanced class at the county high school as I had wished, and I was later successfully admitted to college. My life changed after that.
After graduating from university, I got a job in a city. I began to face the challenges of living independently. I also began to truly cultivate my xinxing.
I had been very concerned about my image since my childhood. I work for a state-owned enterprise manager. He is a bad-tempered person who has a foul mouth and strict work requirements. In order to avoid his criticism, I often thought about how to do things by myself instead of asking him directly. This made my job difficult. I thought about quitting.
This situation lasted for about a year. I realized that it was not right, because sometimes I would lie to avoid being cursed. I began to look inward. I thought about why I was so reluctant to deal with my supervisor and why I was afraid that he would reprimand me. The reason was that I didn’t want to hear unpleasant words, because it made me lose face and would cause colleagues who heard it think I was a loser. Sometimes when I encountered a problem, my first thought was to find an excuse or even lie to cover up my mistakes, just to avoid being reprimanded and losing face.
I found the attachment to fame, but how could I get rid of it? I thought I was a cultivator, first of all, so I should be truthful and not lie. I should tell the truth. But this was difficult, because if I directly admitted my mistakes, the other party would definitely reprimand me.
I thought that as a practitioner, I should get rid of the fear of being criticized. I started to reject the fear in my heart, and every time I made a mistake I no longer spoke falsely.
I stopped saying, “The situation at that time was … ” or “It happened because … ” I started to say, “I was wrong ...” without making excuses, and then I simply and clearly stated my mistake. I still remember the first time I admitted to a mistake in this way. I forgot to report something to the manager, who called me in anger. I gritted my teeth and said, “I was wrong; this was my negligence. I forgot to tell you.” After I finished a couple of simple answers, I calmly waited for his reprimand. He seemed to be stunned, paused for a while, and then said: “Pay attention next time.” He then hung up the phone.
I finally passed this test, and then similar things happened several times. The manager once made a mistake himself and called to reprimand me. I held back and took it as an opportunity to improve myself. He later found out that it was his mistake and politely apologized to me. This manager has trusted me very much ever since.
Before I came to the city, I lived with my parents and didn’t have many expenses. I had thought that I didn’t have much of an attachment to personal interest. When I came to work in the city, I found that this was not the case. Many times, when there were conflicts over personal interest, I was not at ease. We often filled in reimbursement forms ourselves. I knew that some colleagues applied for reimbursement for dozens of yuan more than they should have. Because I could see the immediate benefits, sometimes even though I knew that I shouldn’t do it I found excuses for myself to get more reimbursement, as if there was nothing wrong with it.
When I submitted a request for reimbursement later, I thought about it and I felt that requesting more was incorrect. If I got what I shouldn’t get, how could I call myself a cultivator? I thought that I had to really get rid of my attachment to money. I began to reject this attachment. Sometimes I requested less reimbursement to make sure that I didn’t get what I didn’t deserve. Now, when there is a conflict over self interest I make sure that I am considerate of others. I don’t get attached to whether I gain.
Because I had worked seriously and meticulously with an excellent track record and good relations with the manager of the state enterprise, my supervisor increased my workload greatly two years ago. I began to feel resentful of the company and the supervisor—you can’t force me to work harder just because I do a good job. I knew that having resentment was not right, but I just could not get over it.
I started to skip working overtime. I became less responsible. One of my big projects was complained about, leading to conflicts between another state enterprise and my company. Because I had strong resentment while dealing with it, I thought that the company had not considered my workload when this problem appeared, causing me to make mistakes in my work. This problem caused the company’s business to fall into turmoil to the extent of almost losing a big customer.
I began to think of myself as a cultivator and look inward one day. But with my resentment I was very reluctant to accept that I had been wrong, until I found that because of my resentment the company was in such difficulties that all the employees in one department were about to lose their jobs. I made up my mind to get rid of this resentment.
I kept rejecting the resentment in my heart. I tried to follow the requirements of a practitioner to not have resentment, and I tried to think from the perspective of the supervisor and the company. I thought of a solution and called the supervisor to tell him about my plan to solve the problem. Amazingly, he had come up with the same idea, so we moved forward with our plan. We initially thought that at best we could only relieve some pressure, and that retaining our client would be very difficult. Unexpectedly, just a few days later, everything returned to normal peacefully, as if nothing had happened over the past six months. All my resentment was also completely gone.