(Minghui.org) For a long time, I didn’t take practicing the Falun Dafa exercises seriously. When I first started practicing Dafa, I performed all five exercises every day, but over time I did them less often.

I was happy to practice the first, third, and fourth exercises with others at my workplace. However, I didn’t do exercise two (the standing meditation) very often, and I did exercise five (the sitting meditation) even less. Mainly, it was laziness, plus practicing the two meditations made me tired and sore. I didn’t feel any downside to skipping them, so I did them less and less.

The only issue was that karma elimination sometimes occurred, but it wasn’t severe enough to disrupt my daily work. On a few occasions when the pain became unbearable, I immediately sought help from Master Li, and it quickly passed. I thought that since I hadn’t eliminated karma through the movements, it was acceptable to eliminate it through illnesses—it was better than having no karma eliminated at all and then eventually facing a major catastrophe.

One night after Christmas, I developed a headache that grew increasingly intense. When the pain became unbearable, I once again sought help from Master. After a while, it gradually subsided.

Later, I had a dream in which I saw our group going somewhere with Master. I noticed Master occasionally closing his eyes, but I didn’t think much of it. After a while, the practitioner leading the group suddenly said to Master, “How about we take you back first?” A student standing beside Master quickly nodded in agreement. Only then did I realize Master must not have been feeling well. Master replied, “No need, no need. It’s fine.”

Seeing Master with his eyes closed, I thought, “This looks just like me when I have a headache.” When my headaches are severe, my eyes hurt so much that I can’t keep them open. As this thought struck me, I suddenly understood: Master was bearing this pain for me! He was showing me this to help me improve.

Upon waking, I vividly remembered the dream, and for the first time, I truly grasped the magnitude of what Master endures for us. I realized I’d always held a certain notion: whenever I heard Master speak of eliminating our karma and bearing our suffering, I felt grateful on the one hand, yet on the other, I thought Master was divine—eliminating our karma must be easy for him. But this dream showed me that Master’s pain is real, feeling the same as we do, only more so, because the suffering that so many of us cannot bear is placed entirely on Master.

Master told us,

“... because whoever has acquired the karma feels uncomfortable. It is guaranteed to be this way.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

Now I understand that when Master bears our burdens, he also endures our suffering.

I previously read practitioners’ articles saying that Master has endured so much for us. I always thought that suffering was caused by the persecution from the old forces, that it was all their doing. Now I realize that I have also been causing Master pain. What should I do?

At that moment, I thought about the exercises. If I had completed all five of them daily and eliminated the karma that needed to be eliminated, the karma likely wouldn’t have accumulated to an insurmountable degree. This was something I could have easily accomplished myself, yet due to my lack of diligence, I caused Master to suffer even more. My actions were truly unforgivable.

In “Teachings at the Conference in Houston,” Master answered the following question:

“Student: Enlightened beings are very much unhindered. Teacher is spreading the Great Law and can be responsible to multitudes of students. How should we interpret “very much unhindered?”

“Master: If I’m to save you, being unhindered is out of the question. I am enduring sins for you, and sometimes I eliminate karma for you (applause). It was similar with Buddha Shakyamuni and Jesus, wasn’t it? Some people say: Teacher, with the great abilities you have, how can you still have troubles? Actually, the troubles are all yours. For example, after the karma of some students has been eliminated, a little bit of trouble is left over for them and they should overcome it, but they still can’t manage to. But you can’t destroy the person because he didn’t overcome that portion of trouble, and so I then bear it for him. It is in this way that troubles interfere with me.

“Saving people is terribly hard and arduous. I know why Jesus was nailed to a cross. I also know why Shakyamuni had no choice but to leave through nirvana, and I know why Laozi had to hurriedly write five thousand characters and leave. Spreading a righteous law is so difficult. If a person spreads unrighteous things no one will interfere. After he is done causing turmoil he will in fact go down to hell and be destroyed, for he has actually brought harm to himself.”

Previously, when I read this passage of the Fa, I could only understand its superficial meaning, and I didn’t realize that I was exactly the kind of person it described. This time, having truly witnessed Master’s suffering, I finally understood a little of what he meant when he said, “Saving people is terribly hard and arduous.” I now have a glimpse of what that feeling is like.

I think that for things I truly can’t do myself, I’ll have to ask Master for help, but for things I can do, such as practicing all five exercises every day, I can’t neglect them anymore. I can’t cause Master any more trouble. That is why I dare not skip the five exercises anymore.