(Minghui.org) Greetings, respected Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I have experienced four major tests over the past year which led me to reflect on my fundamental attachments. These four events share a common thread. They made me realize that I must let go of my attachment to reputation. No matter how unfavorable the circumstances are, I must validate the Fa without fear. I would like to tell you about one of these tests, my understanding of it, and the changes it brought about.
A friend of a friend approached me last winter, and asked me to direct one of his web series. Although it was a voluntary project, I love directing and felt it would be an opportunity to gain experience and build a portfolio. After reviewing the contract and script, I found the story touching, so I joined the project without hesitation. The team members were all wonderful and very professional. I was happy to be able to serve as the director and production manager for such a large-scale project.
After two months of pre-production and six days of intense filming, I suddenly realized that the drama was clearly promoting “medically assisted death.” In short, it was assisted suicide. I was shocked. I contacted the screenwriter and producer of the show, along with his wife who was also the lead actress and co-producer, to confirm if I had misunderstood. When I took on the task, I thought the film held a positive moral stance on the subject, even reflecting on some of the medical values it touched on. But I quickly had to admit I had misread the script. The project appeared fine on the surface, but it was dark.
The screenwriter and his wife were willing to communicate, so I tried to persuade them several times based on the principles of the Fa, and in good faith. But I ultimately discovered that their views were very rigid, and they were both atheists. I had never withdrawn from any contract midway. I value keeping my word, so initially, I didn’t even dare consider leaving the project. But Master showed me three things.
First, when I decided I didn’t want to accept anything from this doctor/screenwriter, I saw a half-human, half-robot life form leave my body. I immediately sensed that it came from the doctor. (Thank you, Master, for helping me remove it from my body.)
Second, when we were filming the scene where the patient proposed an assisted suicide, from a professional perspective, it was filmed very well. Even the actress playing the lead character’s sister suddenly developed hives during filming, making the scene very impactful. However, I suddenly felt extremely unwell—I almost vomited and had to take a break.
Third, I told a fellow practitioner about this. After listening patiently, she said, “Do you know what I heard? You actually really want to leave this project.” Hearing this, I burst into tears.
Although human thoughts made me feel I should fulfill the contract, considering how much time I had invested, the blow to my self-esteem, and the professional loss that would result from quitting, I knew I couldn’t stay. From my level of cultivation by then, continuing to participate in the project wasn’t validating the Fa, and it also violated my values and Falun Dafa’s principles.
I mustered the courage to quit. I gave up the credit, the completed work—about half of the entire series—and what could have been material for a very impressive director’s portfolio. Letting go truly wasn’t easy. Even weeks later, I still regretted it, wondering if I could have explained the truth to the screenwriter and his wife better. But as time passed, I calmed down. I specifically called each actor and technician to explain why I withdrew, and this process led to many precious and meaningful exchanges.
Although the doctor returned the copy of Zhuan Falun I gave them, his wife said he had looked through it. I hoped at least one sentence would remain in his heart. I also knew he had seen my Facebook page and must have seen some of the truth-clarification images and articles.
Later, to my surprise, I learned that the director who took over the subsequent filming was a very devout believer and an outspoken person. I couldn’t help but smile, thinking of Master’s grand arrangement. I had a slight acquaintance with her. Later, she wanted to have an open conversation with me, and we had a very good talk. When I told her she could be credited for the series, she felt uncomfortable because it wasn’t factual. She also offered me some solutions I never considered. For example, she could include a note in the film stating that the views expressed in the series did not represent the technical team’s position. This also made me rethink the meaning of “truthfulness.”
This conversation made me realize that my way of leaving the project was somewhat too forceful, and I wasn’t polite enough to my main clients, although I didn’t treat others the same way. I also saw more clearly how I instinctively reacted defensively, cutting off and escaping when faced with darkness. I told myself that I need to do better next time. I will consider others first, then myself, and handle things gently and in accordance with the Fa.
I encountered a great deal of negativity and belittling over the past two years. Voice messages, face-to-face communication, friendly relationships, between spouses, family, in-laws, at work, and even among fellow practitioners—I have experienced strong negativity and attacks.
At first, I tried to endure it. I thought perhaps it was repaying karma, perhaps I had treated them this way in a past life, or perhaps Master wanted to use this to make me stronger. I looked inward and discovered many attachments, including wanting to hear pleasant things, hoping to be respected, wanting to live comfortably, my feelings for my partner, wanting to raise my daughter well, etc. I also discovered that I actually harbored far more negative thoughts about others than I imagined, even though I didn’t voice them. I had allowed these subtle negative thoughts to stay in my mind.
I tried to improve in many ways, but in reality I could never remain completely unmoved when this happened. I felt it was all too intense and overwhelming, so my mind raced with countless thoughts. Sometimes, I even couldn’t help but complain to Master why I had to undergo these trials, and they were almost beyond my limits. I also saw a lot of dark energy pressing down on me. After two years of this intense experience, coupled with the aforementioned withdrawal from the project and losing face in front of ten colleagues at another job, Master showed me a deeper layer.
Two days after I terminated the web series contract, I wrote an apology letter to my colleagues, and then read this passage of Fa teaching.
Master said:
“But it’s now something very prominent, and it is something that you have to take note of. You all know, being cultivators, the principle of “not striking back when hit, not talking back when cursed at,” and that when a cultivator truly suffers some form of loss he simply laughs it off. That is the state that you should have, and that is what you must achieve, for you are not ordinary people and you seek to transcend their state of being.” (Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan, Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume X)
In the same Fa teaching Master also said:
“Those who are attached to saving face will be made to hear things that are embarrassing, hitting upon that attachment that causes you not to be able to stand hearing others’ critical remarks. There are also some people who think that since they are project coordinators, they should be immune to criticism. And then some people who have special talents in some regard or other won’t take criticism from people. Another group won’t hear anyone out on account of having a negative opinion about the other person. It comes in all shapes and sizes. Being unwilling to listen to others’ remarks stems from a range of attachments.”
When I read about “attached to saving face,” I truly understood that everything that happened in the past two years was ultimately to expose my attachment to reputation. I was obsessed with becoming a “person of importance,” wanting to be seen, valued, and respected, even needing confirmation of my existence through the eyes of others. These obsessions suddenly became very clear. This taught me humility and allowed me to re-evaluate what true self-respect is as a Dafa practitioner.
I also realized in the following days that those seemingly malicious words directed at me, regardless of their content or expression, were unimportant. From my current understanding, they were merely a manifestation of repaying karma. After this understanding, when similar things happened again, I was able to let them pass with a smile.
My understanding of Master’s teaching, “as a practitioner one should not fight back when being punched or insulted” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun 2014 English Edition) was previously flawed. I initially thought that others attacked me to make me stronger or to repay karma, so I had to say nothing and simply endure it.
But through this year of cultivation and through numerous tribulations, I gradually understood that “not fighting back” does not mean that I cannot communicate kindly with the other party afterward and clarify the matter. It’s like that second half of a sentence in Zhuan Falun that I never truly read before:
“Of course, we can explain the matter kindly, and it is not a problem if we clarify the issue. But you should not become too attached to it.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
In fact, many times I didn’t face problems openly and honestly, nor did I validate the Fa. Instead, I chose to retreat, become listless, or run away. Because of this, I couldn’t break free from my attachments, and my heart was filled with resentment.
Now, with my understanding at my current level, these conflicts are actually good opportunities to validate the Fa, regardless of whom I’m facing. These tests help me improve in the Fa, and let go of attachments and emotions like wanting to prove myself or gain fame. All of this also made me see more clearly the reason I’m increasingly unable to have compassion, because my respect for others and my concern for others have become conditional—others must respect me and think of me first before I’m willing to treat them the same way.
I’ve just endured and tolerated for a long time, without truly resolving the conflicts, and I became a time bomb. Therefore, I missed some opportunities to save people and forgot how to truly be a cultivator. My cultivation state thus continued to decline. I later realized that Master arranged for me to encounter some stubborn, domineering, and self-centered people so I could see in them the same problems I needed to cultivate away. I understood that I must once again become the “protagonist” of my own life and validate the Fa. This is not arrogance or showing off, but doing so with the pure compassion and sacred dedication of a selfless cultivator.
At the same time, the old forces also exploited my attachments to creating, helping others, and wanting to do more to spread Falun Dafa, making it even harder for me to break free. These three attachments (fame, ego, and doing more) combined to give rise to great joy and passion. Over the past two years I was led astray by these things and gradually lost control of myself. I received almost every job opportunity I had dreamed of—acting, directing, writing—all kinds of contracts that were hard to refuse. So I agreed to almost everything, ultimately becoming severely overworked. Although I still practiced some exercises and read some Fa every day, unknowingly, my cultivation was greatly affected.
My conflicts with ordinary people were becoming increasingly severe, and I could no longer clearly see the reasons behind some of these conflicts. My mind was not clear and pure enough, nor did it have enough space and capacity to withstand tribulations. This gradually led me into depression and dissatisfaction. In addition, the old forces exploited my affection for my family and colleagues, as well as my jealousy of those who lived carefree lives.
Thank you, Master! Ultimately, one job provided me with great help. Through this experience, I felt that Master was encouraging me to clarify my thoughts, purify myself again, re-examine my vow to truly cultivate to a higher level, and become a true and upright cultivator once again.
I have been writing for seven years. Among these writings, I wrote a stage play related to Falun Dafa and tried several times to submit it to theaters in Quebec. Although the script received much praise, it was consistently rejected. I once thought that perhaps theaters today are filled with too many dark and heavy dramas and can no longer accept so much brightness. But at least, the judges who read the script learned some of the truth.
I recently saw a call for submissions and suddenly had an idea, to take a section from one of my books about travel and spiritual practice and adapt it into a one-man show. So I started working on it. A fellow practitioner and I spent two days revising and polishing the script. After that, I tried to get this new work into theaters. This time, I was less attached and less insistent. Works with humanistic, biographical, and psychological themes are currently quite popular, so I thought maybe this time it would succeed.
After submitting to several places and receiving the same number of rejections, I told myself, “Okay, one last submission, and then I’ll let go of this obsession.” Unexpectedly, our work, “S’écouter sans parler (Silent Listening),” was selected and scheduled for a festival in Quebec City. I had originally applied for only a script reading, accompanied by travel photos and video projections. But since the organizers allowed it, we decided to put the entire play into production in two weeks, because we believed this would better convey the message of the work. So, with the help of two fellow practitioners and Master’s blessing (I am truly grateful!), we completed it in a very short time. On the day of the performance, I completed the performance with complete dedication, a stable state, and righteous thoughts. Although the script was about myself, a one-person show performed by me, using my own photos and music, I didn’t feel any sense of ego. I only felt a pure energy being transmitted through a cultivator validating the Fa.
The performance was well-received by the audience. During the Q&A session afterward, everyone stayed in their seats, and we had a very good exchange. Someone said, “Everyone should come to see this!” Another said, “Thank you, thank you for taking us on this journey and sharing these mystical moments with us.” I simply smiled and accepted their feedback.
After this experience, I know I should continue to validate the Fa and spread Falun Dafa through writing. I also understand that this opportunity at the theater came about because I finally let go of some attachments to fame. Now, my desire to validate the Fa through writing has become pure.
I received more good news a few weeks later. The play won the festival’s top prize and I received a week-long arts residency from a theater in Quebec City. This meant that this fall, I would receive professional assistance to further refine the directing, script, and technical aspects. After the intensive creative process, one or two public performances would be scheduled. A producer friend also expressed his willingness to help. He had a strong affinity for Falun Dafa and practiced the exercises with me several times. Therefore, I hope that one day I can validate the Fa through this work on all French-language stages in Canada. But I am not attached.
This year ultimately taught me a profound lesson, that miracles can happen when I let go of my ego and distance myself from zealotry. I increasingly realized that what truly hindered the path Master arranged for me was often myself, or more accurately, my human notions. I saw this in both my family and my marital relationship. Whenever conflicts arose, it was often because I was unwilling to let go of my reputation and dignity, unwilling to let my human attachments “die,” and unwilling to follow Master’s arrangements to elevate in pure cultivation. Conversely, when I am able to be gentle, sincere, selfless, and calm, miracles happen, and conflicts between us can be resolved very easily.
I feel I still have a long way to go before I can cultivate with confidence and poise at all times. This is because I am still too easily swayed by the emotions of others, as well as my own. However, I have now regained more of my “initial state of cultivation” and rediscovered the power of doing the three things well every day. The exercises bring me peace and are transforming my body, studying the Fa helps me transcend human limitations, and sending forth righteous thoughts purifies my field and helps those around me become more clear-headed. Being a Dafa practitioner is truly an invaluable opportunity. I want to fulfill my vow and deny the evil factors that have recently interfered with, and excessively controlled me.
If there is anything that does not confirm to the Fa, please kindly point it out.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.
(Presented at the 2026 Canada Fa Conference)