(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in the winter of 2008, and I’m now 74 years old. I’d like to share my experiences while eliminating my attachments to self-interest and resentment.
I didn’t own a house when I got married, so I always had this wish: “When my daughter grows up and finds a boyfriend, it must be someone who owns a house.” However, things didn’t turn out as I wished. My daughter’s boyfriend didn’t own a house. I was working at the neighborhood committee at the time, so I secured a plot of residential land for my daughter.
My son-in-law worked for the railway department and later purchased an apartment through his employer, so they didn’t need the plot of land. According to the national policy, a residential plot is taken back if a house isn’t built on it within 10 years. I secured the plot in 1992, thus I had to build something by 2002. I stacked the base stones (for a low wall) with plinth stones as a foundation to prevent the plot from being reclaimed. We didn’t build a house and just left it as is since our finances were limited at the time.
The neighbor decided to plant corn and beans on our plot without our permission. When I found out, I didn’t mind. Master teaches us to be considerate of others, so I let her grow her crops. My older brother wanted to grow some vegetables after he retired, so he asked the neighbor to stop planting her crops.
The neighbor complained and said, “My house is damp,” and she wouldn’t let my brother grow vegetables. Our family discussed the matter and decided to sell the plot. Selling a plot nowadays requires the signatures of the neighboring property owners. When we approached the neighbor, she said, “You have to pay me 30,000 yuan, or I won’t sign.”
Her words stirred up my attachment to personal gain, and I thought, “You’ve been growing crops for free all these years, yet you never shared a grain of your harvest with us. I never said a word. And now you’re trying to extort 30,000 yuan from us? That’s outrageous!”
The situation made me restless. I couldn’t eat or sleep, couldn’t concentrate when I studied the Fa, wasn’t tranquil when I did the exercises, and I couldn’t send righteous thoughts properly.
I calmed down and thought, “I’m a Dafa practitioner, and my state of mind is incorrect. Things happen for a reason. Why is she asking for 30,000 yuan? Isn’t this an opportunity to eliminate my attachment to personal gain? If I keep arguing with her, then aren’t I behaving like an ordinary person? How could I possibly return home with Master then? Perhaps I owe her from a past life, so I might as well pay her back in this lifetime.”
I then felt at ease, light, and free.
My husband and I have been married for over 50 years, and I’ve always looked down on him. He’s disorganized, doesn’t put things away, and leaves them scattered everywhere, so I constantly have to clean up after him. I had a bad temper before, so I often complained and felt resentful. I didn’t completely change my attitude toward him, even after I began cultivating in Dafa.
He bought some chickens and geese last year, and built a fence to keep them enclosed. But he was constantly walking in and out of the enclosure, so his shoes were inevitably covered in bird droppings. I had to keep sweeping and mopping our home. It was a big waste of my time, and I felt exhausted from all the cleaning. I argued with him and complained about this almost every day. Deep down, I knew that things happen for a reason. I shouldn’t have acted that way, but I just couldn’t keep my composure.
I finally realized something while studying the Fa one day: “Oh, why am I looking outward again? As a practitioner, I should look inward whenever I encounter problems. Aren’t my husband’s shortcomings a reflection of my attachments? I like cleanliness and don’t like to deal with troubles. I look down on him, and I resent him. These are attachments that should be eliminated. I wouldn’t have recognized them if it were not for my husband’s behavior. He is actually helping me improve.”
How could I resent my husband? I should actually thank him.