(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa 30 years ago, when I was ten. I increasingly feel that Master has always been by my side, and as long as I keep walking the path he arranged, I will be able to get through any test or tribulation.

I’ve always felt how extraordinary Falun Dafa is; and letting go of human attachments and sentimentality is no longer painful—instead I feel happy.

I listened to music as I was driving to pick up my daughter from school. Tears started streaming down my face and my heart was deeply moved by the piece, “When Dafa Spreads Widely, All Things Are Renewed.”

I realized immediately that the tears were from my enlightened side, because I had indeed let go of my resentment toward my husband, and the compassion I’ve cultivated in Dafa might have also eliminated the bad stuff that interfered with my husband. I felt extremely grateful to Master for the guidance and wisdom he has granted me, which enabled me to break free from the misery of a very unhappy marriage.

For a long time I felt distressed about my relationship with my husband. He verbally abused me—usually for no reason. I often wondered how married couples could treat each other with mutual respect and courtesy, like they did in ancient times, since my husband and I were drifting apart and were like enemies.

Each time my husband lashed out at me, I just put up with it and remained silent. I reminded myself that I’m a Dafa practitioner and I should always look within and keep enlarging my ability to have more patience and understanding. So for years, I tried my best to hold the family together and I did not argue with him.

Sometimes, our children spoke up for me, and I always told them not to blame their father. I said we should treat him even better because the old forces always try to keep us apart. However, no matter how hard I tried, even when it seemed I had no loopholes in this respect, the distance between my husband and I widened.

I thought I let go of my attachment to an everyday person’s life, as I have my own aspirations and purpose in life. Apart from taking care of my children, I was busy with my work. Since I never got angry when my husband lost his temper, he became quiet. But we lived like strangers—we just separately went about our daily lives.

I knew this situation wasn’t normal, since I couldn’t even treat my husband with respect like ancient people did, let alone meet the standards for a true Dafa practitioner. What was I doing wrong?

One evening, while I read poems from Hong Yin with my son, two poems left a deep impression on me. One was:

“Breaking Free of the Three Realms

He who regards notordinary sorrows and joysA cultivator is he

He who has not attachmentto worldly loss and gainAn Arhat is he”(Hong Yin)

The other was:

“The Difference Between Mortal and Divine

What is a human?Full is he of emotion and desire.What is a God?Human thoughts are nowhere found.What is a Buddha?Benevolent virtue is amply endowed.What is a Dao?A realized being, serene and clear.”(Hong Yin)

I felt that when my husband treated me badly, the best I could do was not argue back—I did not genuinely treating him with kindness. When he stopped talking to me, I had nothing to say to him. I often thought: “I’ve given so much over the years, and he doesn’t even appreciate what I’ve done.” I realized that I still have so many human attachments. I was shocked by this realization.

One day, my daughter got really upset with me, and said that I wronged her. She tearfully complained to her father. We were visiting her grandmother that day. My husband cared a lot about his mom, and didn’t want to make a scene. So he just glared at me viciously and said in a low, sharp voice, “If you don’t apologize to my daughter, I will...” The look in his eyes said, “I will kill you.”

I calmly continued to fold the clothes, as if I was simply watching a show in the human world—people were being manipulated by their emotions, be it love or hatred, and they lost their sense of self. Emotions are unreliable—the change in the blink of an eye. When people are in love, they forget everything else; when they hate they become cold and cruel. Emotions make people laugh or cry, and in the end turn them into fools.

I kept sending forth righteous thoughts quietly to eliminate the interference. My daughter gradually calmed down, and I also felt I was gradually breaking free from human sentiments.

Since I wasn’t moved by my husband’s verbal abuse, the demons of emotion tried to interfere with me in another way, putting thoughts into my head like, “My husband talks with a female business partner every single day, and they are always joking and laughing – it never seems to end.”

I thought of a few lines in Master’s poem “Abiding in the Dao”,

“...Looking, but caring not to see—Free from delusion and doubt.Listening, but caring not to hear—A mind so hard to disturb....”(Hong Yin)

I was determined to not be moved by human emotions and attachments and to let go of them completely.

Because I was unmoved during the day, my husband’s infidelity found its way into my dreams. When I woke up, I felt a bit disturbed emotionally, but quickly became clear-headed, thinking, “I’ll be my true self, which is the one in control of my life. Nothing can sway me or affect me.”

I thought: “I can never know just how much bad stuff Master eliminated for me, and how many karmic debts he’s borne for me. Over countless lifetimes, I accumulated immense karmic debts. If it weren’t for Master’s boundless compassion, I would never have been able to free myself from these debts in this lifetime.” Dafa has given me strength and wisdom, and I felt myself becoming taller and stronger.

I became more caring towards my husband. After I prepared breakfast I quietly knocked on his bedroom door and said, “I’ve made breakfast, you can help yourself when you get up.” At lunch time, I called him and asked if he wished to have lunch with me.

When we had lunch together, I’d always talk about how I educate our children and how well they are doing at school, because I know he cares a lot about them. He listens and sometimes laughs. Then I’d say, “Take your time, I have to go now.” He would nod his head. Everything was going smoothly.

One afternoon, he came to my office. While I was tidying up some documents, he started talking about how much he’d done for the family, how I let him down. He said he wanted a divorce.

I didn’t give in this time and said to him calmly and firmly, “Everything you’ve said is from your point of view. It’s true that I don’t make as much money, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t done as much for the family. Over the years, I have given all I have in taking care of our children.

“I didn’t ask you for a dowry when we got married. When we bought our house, I offered 100,000 yuan as the down payment. That was right after my graduation, and it was all the savings I had at the time. Later, when we bought the car, again, I gave you all I had for the down payment.

“I’m a Dafa practitioner and I don’t really care about such things. However, our children are not yet of age and it’s my responsibility to protect them. I won’t get a divorce, not until they are adults.”

I continued working after I said this. At that moment, I truly felt that I had let go of my human emotions, and I had no grievance or resentment. It was such a pleasant feeling of total calmness and peace.

My husband was quiet for a long time, then he said softly, “I’ll pick up our son this afternoon, and you can pick up our daughter.”

“Sure, no problem. I’ll go and pick her up,” I assured him.

On my way to pick up my daughter, I felt really sorry for my husband. This sense of compassion encouraged me to be truly kind to him because his true self may be asking for my help. The contaminated human world turned him into what he is, and he cannot enjoy true happiness and warmth between people, because he is tied to his attachments to fame and gain. I felt infinite compassion for him, and my tears just kept streaming down my face as I listened to, “When Dafa Spreads Widely, All Things Are Being Renewed.”

As I keep cultivating and rectifying myself, I finally understand how to treat my husband—I should sincerely respect him. Each of us is a unique individual life and I should respect him with appreciation and dignity, demonstrating the fine qualities of a Falun Dafa practitioner. By doing so, I will earn others’ respect as well.

These are some of my current understandings. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.