(Minghui.org) When I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1999, I told myself that I would give the practice a “one month trial period” to see if I liked it and it could help me improve. Twenty-six years later, I’m still finding that I continually improve in one way or another—it’s a true testament of the power of Dafa and how righteous Master’s teachings are.
My cultivation process over the years has varied a lot. For the first 15 years, I felt nothing when I did the exercises and my tribulations were always vague. While I had various difficulties and things to overcome, they were often long, drawn-out processes that overlapped each other.
In the past 10 years, things changed quite a bit. Especially this past year, I’ve been having xinxing tests that seem like they are straight out of Zhuan Falun. I feel huge amounts of energy when I do the exercises, and the intensity and variety of these experiences increase every few days. My third eye is not open, but the drilling sensation is quite intense and it spreads all over my head and face. It often feels like it’s going to lift me up off the ground, but my feet are locked at the bottom. I’m sure this is because I would run into trouble with the “show-off mentality.” I have this feeling of being lifted when I do the exercises, study the Fa or when I do things related to Dafa on my computer.
The following are a few of my experiences from this past year.
I usually meditate in a nearby park. When flies or mosquitoes occasionally bite my legs, I just grit my teeth and forbear. In the past there were times when it was just too unbearable, and I changed my location to places with fewer bugs. The biting flies were quite a nuisance because they would bite and then just keep digging in, sometimes for more than 10 minutes. However, this past summer, one time I was a bit sleepy and when a fly came and started drilling in—it really woke me up. That uncomfortable drowsy feeling disappeared and the second half of the meditation was nice. I realized that I should sincerely thank that biting fly, he really did me a big favor!
The next time a fly landed on me, my mind was calm as it started to drill in. I felt that the pain in my leg was being transferred to my Falun and it was being transformed into “fuel” that then was distributed through all my energy channels. The feeling was quite nice. This happened only when I was unmoved and my first thought was that it was a good thing.
Another time when I just began meditating, one or two flies started digging into my leg. Then around 20 minutes later, another fly landed on my other leg, and flies landed on both arms and began biting. I was calm and allowed the pain to enter. The “good things” started filling my body. The energy intensified at the 30 minute mark and it seemed like all of the pores in my arms and legs were bursting open with energy—it was an oddly amazing experience.
At the end of the hour, I was shocked when I found there were actually 10-15 flies biting me on each leg and arm! My arms were dripping with blood and my legs were bloody. Luckily that day, there were very few people in the park, otherwise it would have looked rather extreme to people walking by—many people know me because I’ve done the exercises there for years.
This past summer, I decided to buy a used car in California for my daughter to use while she attended college. This was not easy because I live on the East Coast. I only had a two-day window to make it happen.
I did a lot of online research beforehand and found a few reasonable options. I was going to visit three dealers, but the first one had a car that I test-drove and seemed to be a very good option. The place looked “sketchy,” but it had OK reviews and since I’ve worked on cars in the past, I figured I could tell if there were any problems. I brought some computer diagnostic equipment that checks engine codes and everything seemed to be good.
The dealer was very nice and it felt like I probably knew him in a past life. I was very busy, so I decided to come back the next day for another test drive and final check. I did, and it seemed like the car I was supposed to buy, so I purchased it.
I had to fly back to the East Coast, and I thought my daughter would be very happy with my choice when she arrived in California the following week. When she finally got it, she called me saying it wouldn’t start. She was very frustrated because she had a lot of things to do that day to prepare for the beginning of the semester. She found someone to jump-start it and was off to run errands.
Later that day, I got another call and she said she thought she saw smoke coming out of the front of the car. I told her that she should take it to a mechanic near her apartment. She didn’t listen and instead drove to my brother’s house, which is a 25 minute drive on the freeway. I then got a call from an unknown number. It was my daughter. Her phone died and she had to ask a stranger for help because the car was smoking so much that she had to pull over.
She was really upset with me now and asked why I bought such a bad car. I had to scramble and figure out how to have a tow truck come pick up the car at a complicated location without getting any details from my daughter.
Eventually I had the car towed back to where I bought it, and the guy said he’d take a look. The next day, he said the car was fine, but an old radiator hose burst. He repaired that and my daughter picked the car up and was eagerly off to run more errands. But after about one hour, the car stalled on a residential street and wouldn’t start again. I got yet another angry phone call, and she said she had to push the car to the side of the road.
I just wanted to get back to my Dafa work at home, but my good intentions turned into a big hassle! I figured it was time to take it to a real mechanic for a thorough inspection. Eventually the car made it there later that day.
I figured it would probably be upwards of $800 for repairs, which seems like how much it costs with every visit to the mechanic these days. But when I got the call, he said the head gaskets were blown, and that the labor to fix them was around $9,000, almost the same amount that I had paid for the car! He said the better solution was to just replace the engine block, which would run about $6,000. My mind was spinning; I had bought a “lemon.”
I told him I would call him back. I guessed that the dealer knew about this problem, but just played dumb. I had signed a document saying the car was purchased “as is,” so there was no warranty. Thoughts of “I should have just spent more to buy a more reliable car from a dealer with a warranty” and, “You should have taken the car to a real mechanic before buying it, you cheapskate!” passed through my head. Also, feelings of anger arose towards the dealer. Then I relaxed and cleared my mind. The answers quickly came to me… “This didn’t happen by chance and the dealer is helping you. You are attached to money, time to let it go—no loss, no gain.”
I quickly called the mechanic back and told him to go ahead and replace the engine. The work took less than a week and the mechanic said it now had another solid 100,000 miles of life. It seemed like a nice resolution to all this and it would be reliable in the long-term. However, my daughter didn’t think so, after learning how much the repairs cost, she was so upset she felt sick. She wanted to take action against the dealer. I tried to explain several times to her that it’s a good thing and related to my karma, and there was nothing we could really do anyway… she eventually got the idea. At the end of this ordeal, I really felt it was a precious experience and that car, which was 4,500 miles away, was a living entity that would help me see my attachments and allow me to pay back some karmic debts. That car was actually a “golden lemon.”
Normally my cell phone is set to not take calls from numbers that are not in my contacts, but I needed to turn that off for a few days. While working one day, I got a call from my bank saying said my Zelle account (a service similar to Venmo and Paypal) was compromised, and they would transfer me to a tech person who could help block it.
I was suspicious the whole time that it was scam, but somehow the guy got me to send a relatively large amount of cash to people who he said were his managers helping to catch the fraudsters. At first it was just very insignificant amounts, but then they gradually got larger. I just followed along.
After hanging up, I immediately thought it was a scam and called my bank, but they said they couldn’t do anything. One transaction was through Paypal, and I was able to block it by paying a cancel fee to my bank.
The time for sending forth righteous thoughts came, so I sat down. I told myself I needed to let this go and turn it into a good thing, and stick to my mission of saving more people. Immediately there was huge rush of energy and my sending forth righteous thoughts was the strongest it’s been in a while.
I reflected on what happened and it was pretty obvious I had some karma to pay back. I grew up in a somewhat poor household. When I was in middle school and high school, I often stole small items from stores, secretly took small amounts of money from my workplace, or took money from my parents. I realized the amount I stole was almost as much as I had just lost in the scam.
What was bizarre was how my mind was somewhat blank while I sent my money away. It made me think of this quote from Zhuan Falun: “You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
However, it was still difficult for me to totally let this incident go. I kept thinking about how stupid I was, how I would explain it to others, especially my family members, and if there was something I could do to retrieve the cash. I help other practitioners with computer security issues, so how would this effect my reputation? And the hardest part, to this day, has been to not feel anger towards the scammer who tricked me. I still find my mind sometimes playing out scenarios where they call again and I get revenge somehow. I quickly try to eliminate these thoughts.
The blocked Paypal transaction got transferred to my “back-up” credit card on file, and they ended up charging my card the full amount, plus an additional fee for “cash advances.” Another lesson learned, I needed to really let this go or it would just continue! I recalled some of the “Our Teacher” stories on Minghui Radio, where in the early days Master would get swindled out of money by qigong associations, yet he would just smile and let it go.
I now have new understandings of the idea that any hardship in a cultivator’s life can be seen as a good thing. However, to really obtain the “good things,” one has to really let go of human thinking. The “good things” are always there, but with ordinary thinking, the hardship is like a huge rock that seems only there to crush you. However, when seen from the perspective of the Fa, the hardship is like an egg. You just have to endure a little to break the shell and inside is a huge amount of energy that can be used to eliminate evil and save more people.
Ordinary people think making big salaries can bring happiness. But the real big paycheck in life is virtue gained by letting go of attachments, suffering and paying back karma. This virtue can be used to save sentient beings and truly fulfill the vow we made to Master long ago. And in the end we obtain eternal happiness.
Thank you, Master, for guiding me through my cultivation path. I know Dafa is magnificent and I will do my best to strive forward diligently during these final stages.
Editor’s note: In the United States, a “lemon car” refers to a “bad car”—a vehicle with serious defects or mechanical failures that cannot be fixed after multiple repairs, thus becoming unreliable, unsafe, or less valuable.