(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2020. My daughter is 15, which is usually a rebellious age. Before I began practicing Dafa, if I lost my temper I would scold and sometimes hit her. Consequently she hated me.

Through studying the Fa (teachings) I understood that the way I treated her was wrong and I began to change.

At first, I just tried to control myself when we had a conflict, because I didn’t really know how to cultivate and I just passively dealt with things.

I also sometimes thought it was too difficult to pass all these xinxing tests, and wondered if they were a result of karma—my daughter could be treating me this way because I had to repay the karmic debts I owed.

I developed an attachment to fear and I worried that my daughter would not listen to me. I did not look at things from her perspective or try to understand her viewpoint, let alone having any compassion for her. I just carried on based on my shallow understanding of the Fa principles.

With a hidden attachment of fear and anxiety, I unknowingly acknowledged the old forces’ arrangements and persecution.

A recent small incident helped me gain a new understanding about the problems between my daughter and I, and I would like to share some of my understandings with you.

My daughter attended a technical school in the city where her grandmother lives, so she always goes to her place on weekends. One Wednesday, my daughter called me and said she had a fever and needed to take a break.

I called her school and arranged for her to have a few days off. My daughter didn’t show many signs of illness while she was at her grandmother’s home. By Sunday, when she was due to return to school, she told me that she didn’t want to go back yet, and asked me to call her school to allow her to return on Monday.

I called her school and said she would return on Monday morning, thinking the earlier she returned to school the better.

I texted her a message early on Monday, reminding her that she should get ready to go to school. She sent me a reply around 11:30 am, saying, “I can’t make it this morning. Please call my school and tell them I’ll return in the afternoon.”

I replied to her message, telling her that it wouldn’t matter if she was just a little late. If her teacher asked me, I would tell her you were on your way.

I texted her after 1:00 p.m. if she had arrived at school. “No,” she replied.

“Are you on your way?” I asked again.

“Not yet, but maybe soon,” she replied.

After 1:30 in the afternoon, her teacher called me and asked why my daughter still hadn’t returned to school. So I called my daughter and asked her if she was on the bus.

“Not yet,” she replied.

“But didn’t you say you would soon be on your way?” I asked again.

“Will soon,” she replied. I then asked her a few more times, and she became impatient, still not on her way back to school.

“Just tell me when roughly you will arrive at school so that I can let your teacher know,” I texted her.

“Maybe before 3:00,” she replied, and I told her teacher.

“Let me know once you’ve arrived at school,” I texted her after 2:00 p.m. in the afternoon. She didn’t reply.

“Have you arrived at school?” I asked again close to 3:00 p.m. She still didn’t reply.

I called her just after 3:00 p.m., but she didn’t answer. Then she sent me a message, saying she didn’t want to go now, maybe later. I asked her why, she said she just didn’t want to go.

All this time, I felt restless and unsettled. I felt anxious about my daughter, but I also felt resentful toward her, and found myself looking down upon her. I didn’t want to contact her teacher, again because I was worried she might think I didn’t keep my word. At the same time, I also felt anxious that my daughter might refuse to go to school. In short, my thoughts were tangled and chaotic.

I knew that I must look inward for my own loopholes, but when I found them, I didn’t know what to do next.

I kept telling myself not to be moved by sentimentality but be rational. I gradually let go of my judgmental attitude toward my daughter and focused on how to guide her to understand the principles of being a good person.

I adjusted my mindset and feelings before I called my daughter again, and this time we chatted for nearly half an hour.

I asked her why she left so late and told her that I did not blame her—I just wanted to know what the problem was.

“I told you I wanted to return to school in the afternoon, but you didn’t arrange that with the school. You’re just that kind of person,” she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you could not make it to school by 3:00 p.m.?” I asked her.

“Please don’t arrange any time frame for me, it makes me feel anxious,” she replied.

“It’s my fault because I didn’t look at things from your perspective, and I didn’t know that this would cause you anxiety,” I went on,

“I’m a person of integrity, and I mean what I say. If something unexpected happens, I would tell the other side what has happened. This is showing respect to others. I will pay more attention to what you say in the future and try to respect what you want to do instead of pushing my own way.”

I also encouraged my daughter to gradually overcome her feeling of anxiety by planning her time wisely so that she can get things done in time. I also told her that we need to show integrity in what we do. My daughter accepted my advice.

Just after 5:00 p.m., my daughter told me she was on the bus. She then sent me a few messages,

“Mom, I was a bit rude talking to you on the phone today. I was also pretty bad in the past, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to always sacrifice for me.”

“I didn’t hold a proper attitude toward you in the past, however, I also didn’t feel asking for leave from school was a big deal for you.”

“Thank you, mom. I’m sorry.”

“I will pay attention to what you said to me, and you don’t need to always compromise or tolerate me.”

I was really happy while reading these messages from my daughter, and I could feel that Master took away those bad substances between my daughter and I. Thank you, Master!

Through this incident, I realized that I had many human attachments in dealing with issues, and little compassion or kindness. I was dealing with situations by forced tolerance, mixed with all kinds of human notions, such as fear, timidness, etc., which made me do things passively or not knowing what to do at all.

I have a long way to catch up in cultivation, but I feel I have now found the right direction and know how to move forward.

The above is only some of my personal understanding. Please kindly point out if there is anything improper.