(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2006. Only in the last four years have I realized how little time we have left for cultivation, which has left me anxious because I still have many human attachments. I have knelt before Master’s portrait multiple times and cried because of my shortcomings. I will continue to work on eliminating my attachments and strive to become a true Dafa disciple.
I started cultivating Dafa at the age of 18. For years, my parents, who were Dafa practitioners, repeatedly urged me to practice Dafa, reasoning that my vitiligo would be cured through practicing. Yet I was sad each time I heard them saying this, for I knew in my heart that my motive for cultivating Dafa should be pure. After my mother repeated the same line to me one day, I solemnly replied, “Mom, I refuse to learn Dafa with the purpose of curing my illness. The drive to become a cultivator should come from my heart, without any ulterior motives!” My surprised mother realized her shortcomings and said, “I’m glad you think that way.”
One day, a year later, I was bored and picked up a copy of the Minghui Weekly magazine to browse through. Unexpectedly, the articles written by fellow practitioners gave me a deeper understanding of Dafa. I was especially excited to encounter quotes from Master’s Fa in these articles, reading them aloud earnestly. When reading a long section without seeing any quotes from the Fa, I would become anxious. “Why aren’t they quoting the Fa?” The anticipation led me to continue reading until I encountered the next quote, which filled my heart with joy. “Finally, I’m reading the Fa again!” This is how I started cultivating in Dafa.
Less than a month after practicing Falun Dafa, I started working at a practitioner’s shop. I began studying the Fa extensively during my free time. The Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) persecution made it difficult to read Master’s books, so whenever I came across a practitioner, I would try to borrow copies of Dafa books I had yet to read. Each time I succeeded in borrowing one, I would be filled with joy. Several other practitioners also worked at the shop, and we studied the Fa and did the exercises together every day. They gave me a lot of guidance during the early stages of my cultivation.
Not long after I started working, I experienced a major xinxing test. I had promised to help an older colleague hang a curtain but had forgotten about it while dealing with other work. That colleague began shouting at me in front of 10 other colleagues, using every vile and obscene curse imaginable. I remained silent and continued working while stubbornly holding back my tears. This verbal abuse lasted nearly three hours, and I felt extremely wronged. My understanding of the Fa then was not deep, and I kept repeating to myself, “I shouldn’t cry, I should endure!”
Toward the end of the workday, another colleague approached the scolding colleague and told her, “Stop cursing. You’ve scolded her for so long, yet that little girl hasn’t said a word in reply. You’ve gone too far.” Only then did this colleague stop. After finishing work, I went to a vacant room and let myself cry for a long time.
Ever since I started practicing Falun Dafa, tests of my character have come one after another. A colleague, under the guise of a joke, pinched my arm so hard it bruised. Because my salary saw a sudden increase, I was unreasonably scolded by jealous colleagues and left with all the dirty and hard work. I encountered frequent harassment and isolation at my workplace. I kept the Fa in mind, holding myself to the standards of the Fa and tempering myself in this complex environment. As I overcame these tests, my mindset went from enduring to remaining calm and composed. I eventually even found joy in suffering!
As my character improved, compassionate Master let me experience the sublime and wonderful feeling of reaching a new level. This encouraged me to become more diligent, and I felt like the happiest person in the world.
By borrowing from various sources, I managed to read the full set of Master’s lectures soon after I first began cultivation practice. I had initially worried that I had missed some books, so I kept checking with practitioners. After receiving confirmation from them, I let out a sigh of relief. I had not missed this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to study the Fa!
I kept wishing, “It would be wonderful if I could own a complete set of Dafa books!” The CCP’s persecution had made it hard for Dafa books to get in China. With help from other practitioners, I managed to achieve my dream! Afterward, I went about my day joyfully skipping around like a small child.
Despite my busy and tiring work schedule, I made sure to attend group Fa study and exercise sessions. During breaks, I would spend two to three hours studying the Fa. Back then, my biggest desire in life was to finish work early, so I had more time to study the Fa.
I remember crying bitterly after failing to overcome a tribulation, while struggling with uncertainty over where I had gone wrong. Fortunately, my habit of studying the Fa was so ingrained that I opened my Dafa book as scheduled while wiping away my tears. The moment I read the contents, my heart felt lighter because that statement instantly answered the question I was facing. I laughed and then was touched to tears, thinking, “Master is amazing, He knows everything!” This incident reinforced my belief in the importance of studying the Fa. I no longer cried each time I encountered problems and would open my Dafa books instead. I knew Master would continue to enlighten me.
I discovered that all my problems were easily solved through calmly studying the Fa. At the start, I had approached other practitioners whenever I encountered a problem, no matter how big or small. After maturing in cultivation, I started learning the Fa and understanding the principles on my own.
When I was introduced to my ex-husband (we are now divorced), we spent little time together before our parents decided to go ahead with our marriage. My parents remained adamant despite my pleas and objections, leaving me no choice but to comply.
Perhaps I owed his family from a past life. His family did not have their own home and moreover had a lot of debt. My in-laws forced me to start work the day after the wedding to pay off their debts. Additionally, I had to make enough to pay for the household expenses. Although life was tough, I realized this poverty-stricken lifestyle prevented me from pursuing modern-day deviant ideas and luxuries. I could preserve my pure nature while living in this complex and corrupt society.
Throughout my marriage, I cared for my in-laws, was kind and respectful toward my ex-husband, and did the laundry, cooking, and housework at home. Yet each of them treated me like they were my creditors. Except for me, the entire family was unemployed, spending their days idly. They even swindled me out of my savings. I was mocked and ridiculed whenever I tried to explain the benefits of practicing Falun Dafa to them. Faced with financial pressure and unhappiness, I began slacking off in my cultivation and became trapped in my ordinary life. Filled with resentment and bitterness, I felt lonely and miserable. My weight dropped from more than 100 pounds to just 80 pounds. Having reached my limits, I put an end to the marriage.
Although I resumed a peaceful life, the overpowering resentment toward my ex-husband and his family remained, often manifesting as negative thoughts. I realized only Dafa could resolve the resentment and injustice in my heart, so I resumed cultivation practice. After several months, my mild and peaceful mindset was restored. I nearly lost my way among ordinary people, and it was Master who roused me from my confused state. Thank you, Master.
After the COVID-19 outbreak in China, the government forced people to undergo nucleic acid testing and vaccinations. Those who refused could not leave their homes or venture into public places. I refused to acknowledge or meet this requirement, as I knew this was another method of persecution employed by the CCP. The authorities frequently came to inspect my workplace, threatening to shut down and fine those who flouted the requirements. I explained my circumstances and clarified the truth to my boss. Unwilling to cause trouble for him, I told him my intention to resign from the company. He expressed sympathy and told me, “It’s okay, you can keep working.”
In the following days, I calmed my mind and focused on studying the Fa. After that, no matter how many inspections or pressure others applied concerning vaccinations, I remained unmoved. This chaotic situation had nothing to do with our mission to clarify the truth and cultivate Dafa. Compassionate Master helped me resolve this hurdle a short time later, and the authorities eventually dropped the mandatory vaccination requirement.
Several years ago, I experienced a period of time when my mind was flooded with lustful thoughts. The moment I relaxed, these thoughts would instantly surge into my mind. Initially, I thought sending forth righteous thoughts would suffice to eliminate them. However, after several days of effort, my condition only worsened. I realized I needed to take this issue seriously, so whenever I had time, I would send forth righteous thoughts, constantly strengthening my awareness to guard against those negative thoughts. The constant tension left me mentally exhausted.
One afternoon, after sending forth righteous thoughts during my afternoon break, I thought, “Let me rest for a while.” Less than two minutes after lying down, I heard a heavy sigh filled with disappointment. Startled, I regretfully got up. Perhaps if I had persisted a little longer, the evil entities causing those thoughts would have been eradicated. Other celestial beings and guardian deities from other dimensions had been helping me eliminate this evil over the past few days. Yet at this crucial final moment, I had actually decided to take a break. Regretting my poor understanding and lack of resolve, I sat in full lotus position, clearing away those bad thoughts.
One night, I saw a row of ugly, hairy, black monsters in a dream. Although I laughed at them in my sleep, I felt like vomiting upon waking up. I knew this indicated a flaw in my cultivation. I was sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them, but I was not looking inward to examine myself. The monsters in the dream had different expressions. Some appeared smug about their appearance and good figure, while others were proud of their social standing and capabilities. Reflecting on this, I realized similar thoughts often arose unconsciously in my daily life, though I never took them seriously. Even when I tried to reject them, my efforts were perfunctory and without heart.
From that day on, I began to model my speech and behavior according to the standards of traditional women in ancient times. I stopped paying attention to my outward appearance and focused on cultivating my heart. Before I realized it, these strong, negative thoughts disappeared from my mind, and my thoughts became purer than before.
The police came to my workplace to arrest a practitioner, but I helped this practitioner escape. The authorities were previously unaware that I practiced Falun Dafa, and my involvement drew their suspicion.
Not long after, I discovered my phone was tapped. I dreamed of snakes crowding in large numbers below my rented apartment. In response, I adjusted my routine and began strengthening my righteous thoughts daily through extensive Fa study. Master also revealed in a dream that I was being monitored by my neighbor across the hall. Observation confirmed that this new neighbor was an undercover officer. After some time, my initial fear began to diminish. Every day, I would send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil surrounding me. As a Dafa disciple, I should not stop doing what is required of me out of fear. I must break through! I packed truth-clarification materials and left home to distribute them.
Some days later, my parents asked me to return home to stay for a few days. Shortly after I did that, a practitioner asked me to visit her, saying she had something to discuss. I decided to seize this opportunity to get some clean clothes from my rented apartment. I was riding my fully charged electric scooter, but it suddenly stopped. I thought my scooter had broken down, so I turned around and began pushing it home. Yet as soon as I turned around, my scooter began working normally. Puzzled, I turned it around to continue my journey, only to find it had stalled again. I realized Master was preventing me from heading to my rented apartment. There must be danger there! Filled with gratitude, I said, “Master, I won’t get my clothes. I’ll go to the practitioner’s home, since she needs my help.” Instantly, my electric scooter started up again, and I made my way to the practitioner’s home without problems.
Looking back over my cultivation path, every step was taken under Master’s compassionate care. Even when I did poorly, Master never abandoned me. I will continue to cultivate diligently so Master will have less to worry about.