(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa with my mother prior to July 20, 1999. I was young and only had a superficial understanding of Dafa and what cultivation meant. I enjoyed reading Master’s new lectures because I wanted new knowledge.
Soon after I began practicing, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) initiated the persecution. After my mother was persecuted and illegally held multiple times, I stopped practicing. Due to family tribulations my mother couldn’t let go of her competitive mentality and resentment. She later had a stroke and passed away. I forgot all about Dafa.
I was 46 in 2023 and I began experiencing various health problems. Varicose veins and knee injuries prevented me from standing for long periods. After each meal, I felt pressure in my liver area, and it was difficult to sit or stand. I consulted many traditional Chinese medicine practitioners but nothing helped. It was in this state of physical and mental exhaustion that I met Ms. Jia who used to study the Fa (Falun Dafa’s teachings) with me.
She said she passed my workplace multiple times. But she knew I stopped practicing, so she didn’t know whether she should stop in and chat with me or not. That day, she did stop in to see me. She asked how I was doing. When she learned of all my health issues, she urged me to resume cultivating. I immediately agreed. Something within me still wanted to cultivate. She arranged for other practitioners to come to my home and read the Fa with me.
I was middle-aged when I resumed cultivating. It was probably because of my predestined relationship with Falun Dafa that my understanding and treasuring of the Fa came from the bottom of my heart. I soon felt relaxed. During our weekly Fa-study, the other practitioners talking about their cultivation helped me. I realized it wasn’t that difficult to improve one’s cultivation state.
One night, I dreamed I was heading home, but it felt like I was still very far away. There was no transportation so I ran. I didn’t realize I was running very fast, but the scenery along the road was rushing past. I was excited, thinking that at this speed I would get home quickly. But just as I was feeling happy, I noticed one of my legs wouldn’t move; I couldn’t lift it no matter what I did. I was extremely anxious and then I woke up. I felt uneasy because I understood that I still had some roadblocks in my cultivation. When I later tried to light incense one stick refused to light. I suddenly enlightened it was because I hadn’t done one of the three things well.
Because I was somewhat arrogant I rarely took the initiative to talk to others, and this habit which I developed over the years was difficult to change. Therefore, I only talked to a few coworkers I was close to and helped them quit the CCP. As to strangers, I could hardly open my mouth. I understood Master was giving me a hint to make a breakthrough, so I began going out to find people to talk to. However, all my attempts failed because no matter how many times I rehearsed what I wanted to say, it was no use; I simply couldn’t bring myself to speak to strangers!
I felt I reached a dead end. This hurdle was too difficult for me to get over. If this continued I’d stop cultivating. If I only did two things, was I a Fa-rectification period practitioner?
However, I thought that if I could only talk to even one person each day I would be content. Master saw my wish to make this breakthrough so he had practitioners help me. Ms. Jia took me to the park and showed me how to break the ice and clarify the facts to people face-to-face. In the beginning I assisted her. Gradually, after having been through a very difficult process of getting rid of my attachment to vanity and being afraid of being criticized, I was finally able to talk to people about Dafa on my own. Even though I didn’t articulate very well, empowered by Master and helped by other practitioners, I finally overcame my problem.
When I initially clarified the facts to people I experienced difficulty. On some days I couldn’t even help one person quit the CCP. I was very worried. I knew that Ms. Bei, from my Fa-study group, wasn’t eloquent either, and when she went out to talk to people about Dafa, she mostly passed out informational brochures. I decided to do that. My strong fear convinced me it’d be easier to hand out informational materials. When my mother was around, my home was a material production site, and I made most of them. Thus, I was very familiar with making and handing out informational materials. I decided to buy a printer.
Another practitioner, Ms. Cao, was against my idea. She felt a responsibility to help me since I recently returned to cultivation practice and Fa-study, She felt I wasn’t a good fit for setting up a material production site. She also informed me of a few past negative situations that occurred in a situation like mine. I was determined and I bought a printer and printing supplies.
I began to hand out informational materials. As I walked down the street, facing inaccessible apartment building entrances and the dense network of security cameras, I realized there were no easy options no matter how one goes about validating Dafa to others. I told myself: This was the path that I’ve taken. As long as I have faith in Master and Dafa, I can walk on this path. I also understood there was no turning back and one must truly cultivate.
I began to send forth righteous thoughts more often and I begged Master: Master, I must move forward and do the three things well. I want to go home with you. Master, please help me. After I finished sending forth righteous thoughts, when I opened up the Dafa book, I saw this passage of the Fa:
“If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil’s persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil’s persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil’s interfering with you disappear without a trace.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume VII)
After I read this, I became clear and I felt grateful for Master’s protection. I copied this passage of the Fa and recited it many times. As I recited it, I felt the substance of fear was eliminated. From then on, as soon as it flared up, I began to send forth righteous thoughts and recite this passage of the Fa. When Master saw my steadfast heart, he helped me and removed my fear. Instantly I felt the burden of fear disappear, and I could remain calm when I did the things I should do.
From then on, as soon as I had a little bit of fear, Master enlightened me in the Fa that I was reading. For instance, when I wanted to go to the supermarket near my home and talk to the young man selling fruits, suddenly my fear flared up: Since he knew where I lived, would he report me? Since I often went to buy groceries at this supermarket wouldn’t he tell others about our Fa-study group? At that time, I was reciting Zhuan Falun. Then I thought: I am someone who walks on the path of divinity, why would I be afraid of someone? Shouldn’t I be in the state of “The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and harmonizes everything.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun) Then when I clarified the facts to him, it went very smoothly. He was a Party member and renounced his membership.
When I heard about the ordeals faced by Dafa practitioners outside China, I felt particularly sad. While sending forth righteous thoughts, I wondered if even if I did this all day long, would it help? Suddenly I remembered a sentence of the Fa:
“His body in another dimension was injured—in that case he was really paralyzed.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly understood that Master said we need to do well in sending forth righteous thoughts to become one body. Then, evil factors in other dimensions can be dismantled and the interference toward Fa-rectification in this dimension will not succeed. I felt surrounded by energy, it was as if I was unshakable. That kind of compassionate and peaceful feeling was very hard to describe in words. I understood that sending righteous thoughts to eliminate evil factors is also compassion. Because if we eliminate the evil persecution as soon as possible, less karma is amassed, and this is great compassion toward people.
In our study group, I’m relatively young. While reciting the Fa, I often saw the Fa-principles and felt Master’s enlightenment and I always wanted to share this experience with other practitioners. I began to develop a sense of self-importance. Every time I finished studying the Fa, I’d talk non-stop, as if I knew more than all the other practitioners.
One day, when I returned from talking to people about Dafa, I thought: I did pretty well today and helped a few people to quit the CCP. Now I not only could talk to people independently, but also hand out informational materials. During the Chinese New Year, practitioners chose to stay home to celebrate it, but I still went out to talk to people as usual. While thinking about it, I opened the fridge to take out some food to cook. But as soon as I opened it, I was hit by a stench that almost made me faint. I searched everywhere but I couldn’t find any spoiled food; I was sure the smell had definitely come from inside the fridge.
After closing the fridge, the whole house smelled terrible, even opening all the windows didn’t help; it was like the stench followed me wherever I went. And when I opened the fridge again, there was absolutely no smell inside. I realized this smell was sent specifically for me. All those feelings of smugness vanished. I just felt as if Master gave me a wake-up call.
From other practitioners’ sharing in the past, I learned that stench represented being arrogant, though I didn’t want to acknowledge I had this issue. Later, I felt that when compared with practitioners who consistently talked about Falun Dafa to people all year around, I was far behind. For a true practitioner, the more one cultivates, the more one would see one’s shortcomings and be able to recognize any departure from the Fa standards. However, I didn’t do well and felt complacent, how terrible this was!
After I understood I calmed down. I expressed my gratitude to my Master and felt regretful that I caused him to worry. I have such a wonderful benevolent Master, holding my hand at all times as I walked my cultivation path, saving me from taking detours along the way. How could I not strive to be more diligent?
Even though I returned to cultivation two years ago, Master’s protection helped me feel happy and confident in my cultivation. I want to tell all practitioners that Master will never give up on us. His immense compassion is beyond our imagination. I will walk the last leg of my cultivation journey well with even more determined and diligent steps.