(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1994, and now, more than 30 years have passed. However, for many years, I struggled to do well with the practice, and only in the past few years have I improved. For instance, I often dozed off when studying Dafa teachings or doing the exercises, and when sending forth righteous thoughts, my hand would not remain upright, but would fall to the side. I tried to overcome these issues, but it was not easy.
Fortunately, Ying, a very diligent local practitioner, was able to help me. We had extensive discussions on how to look within and improve myself. At the same time, I also solved the problem of dozing off.
Seeing other practitioners having similar issues, I decided to write down my experience, hoping it might be helpful to others.
Since childhood, my parents and my elder siblings showered me with love and affection. As a result, I became very selfish and hardly considered others. I assumed it was natural for others to help me and did not think much of it. Consequently, I lacked empathy and concern for those around me.
Ying noticed this problem of mine and pointed it out directly. “You are too selfish. This is something that belongs to the old cosmos. To enter the new cosmos, Dafa practitioners need to consider others first instead of living in our own world,” she explained.
Those words made me uncomfortable, but I knew she was right. I needed to fulfill my vow of helping Master with Fa-rectification and helping save people. So I must become mindful of others.
I said to Ying it takes time to change my habit and asked her to remind me if she sees any problems. “In my opinion, you need to think—for example, how to improve yourself through looking within,” she said.
Once I had the thought of looking within, Master gave me hints on how to achieve it. While reading Zhuan Falun, I came to understand that everyday people tend to look outward when they encounter a problem, failing to look inward. As Dafa practitioners, we are different. Whenever we notice something in others, we can treat it as a mirror to reflect on ourselves. In this way, we can gradually remove our attachments, one by one.
For a long time, I have struggled with dozing off when studying the Fa, doing the exercises, or sending forth righteous thoughts. I tried to break through this problem, but was unable to overcome it. Occasionally, I have read Minghui articles on this topic and tried the methods others suggested, but they have not been effective for me either.
Master said,
“Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reasons within yourself and determine what you still have not let go of.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I sensed something was wrong, but I couldn’t overcome it. As time passed, my confidence flagged. Ying told me, “This is because you have not studied Dafa teachings well enough and your main righteous thoughts are not strong enough.”
Master said, “Your Main Consciousness Should Dominate”. (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
This topic is also discussed in experience-sharing articles on Minghui. I memorized this section in Zhuan Falun in hopes of improving myself. However, because my intention was not pure—my focus was on solving the problem—the result turned out to be less than ideal.
Previously, I thought only those negative thoughts against Dafa or Master were thought karma. However, now I have a different understanding.
Master said,
“Only when your mind violently reflects filthy thoughts or curses Teacher,[1] Dafa, other people, etc., and you cannot get rid of them or suppress them is it thought-karma. But there is also some weak thought-karma, though it is different from regular thoughts or ideas. You must be clear about this.” (“Be Levelheaded,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
From this, I realized that some thought karma could be weak, and I had overlooked this. As a result, it had interfered with me for a long time, and I had been unable to overcome it. Therefore, I directly sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it.
The next morning, while doing the exercises, I was able to reach a state of tranquility for the first time. Ying also commented that my back was straight and I did not doze off. Sending forth righteous thoughts in the remaining time also went well—my mind had become pure.
On reflection, I understood why this had happened. It was rooted in my selfishness. I did not care about others, and I was attached to comfort. Because of this, the old forces were able to take advantage of me, causing losses.
Right now, I know that in addition to identifying my attachments one by one, I also need to oppose the overall arrangement of the old forces. That is, I need to oppose any thoughts or statuses that are inconsistent with Dafa teachings.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.