(Clearwisdom.net) For a long time, I had been in a state of depression and pessimism. I felt that I was not doing well and that I was not qualified to be a Dafa disciple. I felt that I had not kept up with Teacher's Fa-rectification progress and that I had delayed other people's attaining of the Fa. With such a feeling, I had no confidence, I was down on myself, and I was quite dejected.
One day, I suddenly realized something was wrong. I love Dafa from the bottom of my heart. I am willing to follow the principle of Truth, Compassion, and Tolerance; I want to follow Teacher to go home. Thinking more deeply, I saw that I had indeed given up many ordinary people's bad thoughts and habits and that I had been getting closer to the realm of selflessness and altruism. Wasn't the feeling of my being no good attacking my confidence in cultivation? Thinking this, I left the state immediately. As I further studied the Fa, I gradually realized that it was a kind of demonic interference.
When I shared my experience with other practitioners lately, I found that many practitioners who had done quite well were in such a state as well. As a consequence, they were restrained in their efforts of promoting Dafa and rectifying the Fa.
I looked more closely at my state of mind -- why had I been affected by this demon? This demon looks like modesty on the surface, and yet in reality, it affects Dafa disciples' improvement, and that is actually because there is a deeply hidden attachment that the demons are taking advantage of. I had a notion that had become a habit, and that is that whenever I did something, I always wanted it to be perfect. If I didn't achieve what I expected, I would feel regret. This was actually an expression of vanity, because behind my wanting to do something well was the desire for others' approval and praise. Thus, whenever I shared experiences with others, I would always go through a self-examination and try to be modest. The hidden motive behind it was that I already knew I hadn't done well, so there was no need to criticize us anymore. Or, if I presented myself as being somewhat less capable, then I would still look pretty good even if the job had been done poorly. Over time, this attachment formed a very strong notion that was hard to detect, and I even felt that I was modest and looking inside. In reality, these attachments are the effects of fame, self-interest, and emotion, hoping that one will be seen as such and such.
There is also another similar attachment, and that is covering up. I have found that for the vast majority of people, when others point out their defects and attachments, they immediately start to defend themselves rather than keeping their hearts calm to sincerely listen to the words of the other person. They find a lot of excuses, trying to explain why they did it this way or that way, and even give a big explanation using the principles of the Fa. In fact, at that moment, it is the attachment of covering up taking effect. Sometimes, I would keep explaining on and on why I had not done well earlier, what principles I had enlightened to, etc. But later I found that when I was giving the explanation, I was trying to cover up why I had not done well because I didn't want others to criticize me. Moreover, since I already know that I didn't do well, that means I have upgraded and improved now. When I discovered these cunning and complex attachments, I sighed to myself: if Teacher had not transmitted Dafa and taught us the path to return to our origin and to the truth, we would be controlled by these notions that are formed after birth, and we wouldn't even know it. We would have even treated them as an important element of success in life and would have desperately clung onto them. We have really deviated further and further away from the truthful, benevolent, and forbearing nature of the universe. Life's burdens become more and more and become heavier and heavier, and as a result, we fall ever deeper.
In the Changchun lecture, Teacher said: "The people of today have become very deceitful and cunning. People nowadays know how to conceal their hearts, and they know how to use cover-ups to cover up that heart. Once I see this kind of person, I know it's very difficult to save him. When he is given a hint to awaken, he himself doesn't even realize this concealment or those things that are being covered up. What's more, when you point out his real problems, when my Fashen pinpoints his problems, he even tricks my Fashen as if he were dealing with an ordinary person and will fake it, 'Oh, I was wrong.' And then he will use another cover-up to cover up his actual cover-up, using another cover-up (not an official translation)."
The demons and the old forces in the universe can take advantage of these warped notions and bring trouble to our Fa-rectification work. Thus, to completely eradicate these demons and old forces, we must have a clear understanding of these demons' different permutations, find our attachments, and rid ourselves of them quickly, because in the new universe in the future, there is nowhere for these things to exist.
To all depressed and pessimistic Dafa disciples, please pull yourselves together! How can these incompetent, dirty, and ugly things obstruct the disciples of the Master Buddha and affect our progress in assisting Teacher's Fa-rectification?!
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