(Clearwisdom.net)
When I decided to join the thousand-mile bike ride to stop the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners in China, I knew I would face many xinxing (Mind/Heart nature) tests and that I would have many opportunities to improve my xinxing. In these respects I was not disappointed.
I started out on the ride with my mind full of thoughts on how I could help to stop the persecution, upgrade my xinxing, and help others to find out what Falun Dafa is. In my heart, however, I held many human attachments. I viewed this ride as an adventure and I thought in my mind that I was a strong and experienced bicyclist. I thought that my riding, camping, and bike repair abilities would make me an asset to the team. I believed that I knew better than the other riders, as they had no riding experience.
Because I was looking at the trip from this low level, I made low-level preparations. Instead of trusting the Fa [Law and Principles] to provide what was needed along the way, I tried to pack and carry whatever I imagined I might possibly need. I wasn't thinking as a particle of Dafa, or even as a cultivator. I was thinking for myself and I was using many ordinary human notions. Because my heart wasn't pure, as soon as the ride began I started to run into tribulations. Within the first two miles, my brakes needed repairing and I got a flat tire. Later on, some spokes broke in my back wheel and I got another flat tire.
It took two days of repeated mechanical failures before I began to realize that my human abilities were worthless, and that my human thinking was an impediment to me. Therefore I made an effort to focus on the higher aspects of the trip, which were: stopping the persecution, spreading Dafa, and purifying my heart.
I started to change the way I viewed the tribulations that I came across, though very slowly. I realized that I kept looking at each tribulation as a separate incident with an immediate cause and I failed to look more deeply to see the root causes of all my problems.
On the third day, we rode under thunderclouds and lightning for hours. It carried on raining heavily until we entered our hotel rooms. The next day, when I was listening to Teacher Li's Nine Day Lectures on tape, I noticed that the tape would slow down when I had selfish and unrighteous thoughts and resume playing at the normal speed once I had corrected my thinking. Even after this, I kept thinking as an individual human being, not as a team member and as a Dafa particle. So, I continued to have mechanical problems while the others pedaled on smoothly.
I knew my problems resulted due to the fact that I had poor xinxing, but I kept viewing each problem as a separate issue. My notions prevented me from seeing the deeper issues. Finally, one of the other riders helped me by sharing some of his thoughts with me. He started out by saying that during Fa-Rectification, every practitioner was a particle of Dafa and a representative of Dafa; thus our appearance mattered. He went on to say that he knew some practitioners who viewed cultivation as a hobby, instead of enlightening to the fact that this whole life is meant for cultivation and Fa-Rectification.
I realized that this was the root of many of my problems. I hadn't been thinking of myself as being in and been part of Dafa. I looked at cultivation as something I did, just like riding bicycles was something I did. I put a lot of time into reading Zhuan Falun [the main text of Falun Gong] and doing the five sets of Falun Gong exercises, but I still saw Dafa as a part of my life instead of seeing my life as part of Dafa.
With this practitioner's encouragement, I sorted through my gear and discarded everything that I could, along with a few very stubborn notions.
As we rode onward, I kept reminding myself that every day is for Dafa, and that at every moment I am a particle of Dafa and a cultivator of Dafa. I started looking for ways to improve and harmonize myself with the other members of the biking team. I was able to be a bit less selfish, and things flowed more smoothly for everyone.
Then another rider joined the team. By this time the current bike team had suffered together and we were also learning to work together. This new practitioner was full of enthusiasm; he would ride faster than everyone else and would disappear into the distance leaving the group behind. Later we would find him waiting exhausted by the side of the road, expecting the rest of us to stop so that he could rest. I felt resentful, here he was, an unproven addition to the team, pushing us when he felt strong and holding us up when he felt tired. I wanted to show him that he was no greater rider than I was. I was riding last in line not because I was the slowest, but to discipline myself to be part of the team. I wanted to race past him to show him what a fast rider I really was. Before I actually did this, I realized how utterly wrong I was. I saw that his over-enthusiastic riding style was pressing on my selfish and competitive show-off mentality in order to help me to get rid of these attachments. As I learned to be a little less selfish, I began to appreciate my teammates more. I rode a bike regularly and had no trouble riding all day, yet these practitioners were riding many hours every day, up long, steep hills, without any training or any technique. All they had were strong wills and pure hearts. Seeing their enormous hard work made me realize how small my efforts actually were and their exertion made me more determined to rid myself of my human notions and attachments.
I learned a lot on the trip, and I learned a lot more listening to practitioners' experience sharing speeches at the Conference in Washington. It was here that I first began to really understand the difference between self-cultivation and Fa-rectification. I thought of what I had experienced on the trip, and saw how it was all about me, and my own cultivation. I was still thinking as an individual cultivator, while all these other practitioners were truly living as particles of Dafa. After listening to the practitioners share there cultivation experiences and to Teacher Li's speech, I realized how fast and far other Falun Dafa practitioners were improving and how very far behind I was.
I see more and more clearly how the Fa helps me and how fellow practitioners help me. Everything those practitioners taught me on that bike ride and everything that I have learned since then has led me to finally begin to realize what Dafa is. I extend my heartfelt thanks to Teacher Li, Dafa, and everyone who has helped me along the way.
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