I attained the Fa in October 1998, but only in the last 8 or 9 months have I truly understood Dafa and become a genuine Dafa practitioner. I also felt that other practitioners' cultivations had been propelled forward at rocket speed, while I had just started. I really regret wasting so much time.
Before attaining the Fa, I was a lay Buddhist. Since I felt that life had so much suffering and the conflicts between people were perpetual, I tried to find spiritual relief in Buddhist teachings. However, I failed to find what I really wanted and I was quite disappointed. Thereafter, I cultivated at home. In mid 1998, whenever I sat in meditation, I felt lost and distracted. Was I looking for something? At that time, a friend introduced me to Falun Dafa. I attended a nine-day class, and bought Zhuan Falun. When I read the book, Master's voice echoed in my ears. I thought that I was just attached to the sound of Master's voice during the nine-day class. After reading the book once, I did not feel anything. I just felt that practicing the exercises was good. Because I had difficulty breathing while sleeping on my back, I had to sleep on my stomach. I also suffered from backaches; I could not straighten my back immediately on waking in the morning. When I was attending the nine-day class, after listening to only the first lecture and learning the first set of exercises, I felt very much more comfortable in my chest as I slept that night. Therefore, I practiced the exercises every morning at home. Half a year later, after the April 25 incident, Falun Dafa received much negative publicity coming from China. At that time, my husband told me, "Stop practicing, wait to see if the situation improves, so you can avoid being deceived again." I did not consider it carefully, I simply stopped practicing regularly. But strangely, whenever I felt exhausted, I would naturally think, "Oh! It's time to practice the exercises today." At these times, I would do the exercises.
It wasn't until December 2000 that a friend invited me to attend a Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference in Taiwan. At the time, I merely wanted to go and have fun. However, during experience sharing, especially after fellow practitioners talked about their understanding of Dafa, I was deeply moved. My heart opened up and it suddenly became clear to me. "Oh! Actually, Dafa is great!" From my heart I thought, "I can no longer practice at home. I must go to the park nearby and start a practice site." My sister and I started to practice in Bishan Park. I took all the Dafa books from the bookshelf and read them eagerly every night. Suddenly, one night while I was studying the Fa, the top of my head seemed to open up, and I felt as though I had just awakened. All at once, I became aware, "This Fa is what I have been looking for; it is the path by which we can cultivate ourselves to return home." I also felt the greatness and compassion of Master. Master has endured much suffering for all sentient beings. Just as Master said, "All that I had endured on your behalf, you do not have the means to repay me." I could not stop myself from crying and wished in my heart, "I certainly must go home with Master."
After Master's new article "Towards Consummation" was published, when I read, "Later on, by diligently making progress through reading the books and studying the Fa, you should clearly recognize what your concepts were when you first came to Dafa. After practicing cultivation for a period of time, do you still hold on to those notions? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that your fundamental attachments haven't been discarded and that you are unable to understand the Fa from within the Fa." I compared myself to Master's Fa. At that time I asked myself, "Have I ever regarded myself as a cultivator?" After I set my heart in the right place, Master helped me adjust my body again. One night when I was sleeping, I saw a ray of light entering my chest. It was very painful. I pressed my chest with my hand, and the light was extinguished. I moved my hand aside and the light came back. My chest started to hurt again. I thought, "I am a Dafa practitioner. I am a Dafa practitioner." In a blink of an eye, the ray of light disappeared. Since then I have not had any difficulty breathing.
In June 2001, a fellow practitioner gave me a tape recording of Master's new articles. As I started listening to it, I had no intentions. However, as I listened to it repeatedly every day, I finally realized that it was time to step forward to validate the Fa.
After that, I attended the Dafa Experience Sharing Conference in Sweden. On the way to the airport, I forgot to bring long-sleeved clothing and returned home to get some. As I opened the door, the "Pudu" and "Jishi" music started to play in my house. At that time nobody was at home. I knew that it was arranged by Master. At the Experience Sharing Conference, a practitioner recited Master's new article "To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference," "So in clarifying the truth, don't wait, don't rely on others, and don't just hope for changes in external factors. Every one of us is creating history for the future, that's why everyone is not only participating in group activities, but also taking the initiative to look for work to do. As long as something is good for Dafa, you should take the initiative to do it, take the initiative to work on it." Oh! Isn't this what I should do?
One month later, I went to the USA to attend another Experience Sharing Conference. I felt honored at the prospect of meeting Master. Everyone else was extremely happy, but my heart was heavy. I felt that I had not done enough. I thought in my heart, "When I return home, I must be like the overseas practitioners and be proactive, take the initiative to clarify the truth and help Master offer salvation to sentient beings." Because such a good Fa is misunderstood by ordinary people, and I am a beneficiary of Dafa, I should tell the truth to everyone, so that they will not be deceived by lies and lose their chance for a wonderful future.
After returning to Singapore, my sister and I discussed plans to go from house to house to distribute Dafa truth clarifying materials. However, when I decided to do it, all kinds of attachments surfaced. Will others make things difficult for me? Should I go elsewhere to distribute because the neighbors nearby all know me? I changed my mind and thought, "To help Master offer salvation to sentient beings, how can I think of sentimentality or conditions? Isn't this sentimentality interfering with me?" Then, I heard the Dafa music again and felt the presence of Master beside me. What is there to be afraid of? At that moment, I felt that my state of mind was very righteous. When I went to distribute the materials, the people I met all happily accepted Dafa's truth clarifying materials. When I spoke, they listened quietly. When I left, they even thanked me. I felt that I really displayed the state of a Dafa particle.
Although we cannot do what is done overseas or do things dynamically and magnificently, we can use a pure state of mind to eliminate the evil and clarify the truth. It will be just as magnificent in the other dimensions. Hopefully, all fellow practitioners will strive forward diligently, reach Consummation, fulfill their vows and not disappoint Master as He compassionately saves all sentient beings. Lastly, to encourage each other let's all recall Master's poem "Predestined to Return to the Sacred Fruit Status."
Looking for Teacher for many years,
One day the chance to meet appears;
Obtain the Fa and return through cultivation,
Achieve Consummation and follow Teacher home
These are some of my experiences. If there is anything inappropriate, fellow practitioners, please point it out.
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Category: Improving Oneself
