(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa in June of 1999---just one month before the persecution began in China. I learned about Falun Gong from a good friend of mine. Through diligent studying of the Dafa books and emphasis on xinxing cultivation, the quality of my life now is infinitely better than it was before. I've also gained a great deal of respect for Teacher and I am confident that the teachings in Zhuan Falun can guide me back to my original True Self.
I would now like to share a few of my recent cultivation experiences and limited understandings. I appreciate any comments and corrections that will help me improve.
I. Balancing Fa Study and Fa Rectification Work
Many Dafa practitioners have found that the pace of Fa Rectification is getting faster and faster, and get involved in many different teams. Personally, I felt that I had good intentions for not going to group activities and Fa-study section thinking that I should be "putting Dafa before myself" and do my Dafa work first. However, my Dafa work seemed endless, and many times my Fa Study would be put off until the next day.
One day about 3 months ago I decided that I would make my Fa Study the top priority everyday. I decided that I wouldn't start any Dafa work until I finished my reading for the day. I'm sure you can tell what the results were---I was able to do my Dafa work as a Dafa practitioner and thus it was done much faster and with much higher quality.
In hindsight, I experienced exactly what Master said in the 2002 Florida Conference: "But there's one thing: you must achieve the state of studying the Fa without any pursuit. You understood this a long time ago--you can't read the Fa with an attachment to solving your problems. Just read calmly, and the effect is sure to be excellent."
I think most of us know what we need to do; it's now just an issue of being diligent. Once all the Dafa particles rise up, then the cultivation environment will follow.
II. Working With Others on Dafa Projects, Having True Compassion And Overcoming The Attachment to Fame.
Master said in the Lecture at the Conference in Singapore in 1998, "Not only should the two people with the friction examine themselves, but also the bystanders who happen to observe the incident should examine themselves."
In each case, I have been aware that I should look within myself, however, I rarely would enlighten to my shortcomings. Gradually, I started to see a trend---in each case when a conflict arose between two practitioners, I usually could tell what attachments they had that caused the conflict, yet I would never reveal this to either of them. My excuse was that I should just be looking within and that they needed enlighten to their attachments on their own. While this was partially true, eventually I realized that my decision to not do anything was a manifestation of my deeply rooted attachment to Fame and Gain. In short, I'm afraid of pointing out other practitioner's attachments because I fear that they will become angry with me or think that I'm not a nice person. I know this sounds funny, but as a Westerner growing up in America, this is a strong degenerate notion that many kids acquire while in school. In addition, I have realized that I need to be more selfless and compassionate.
Through these complicated scenarios between practitioners, I have seen many of my attachments that otherwise would have remained hidden. Master says in Ch. 4 (pg. 159) of Zhuan Falun: "You will be made to abandon all those attachments that cannot be given up among everyday people. As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice."
III. Reading Clearwisdom.net and Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts.
When Master first introduced us to "sending forth righteous thoughts", I did believe that I had the potential to use supernormal capabilities in other dimensions, however, I had no idea if and when they were actually working. I tried my best to follow closely the instructions on Clearwisdom.net, but I had no indication that what I was doing was having any effect.
Shortly after we started "sending forth righteous thoughts" at set times, it became very difficult for me to work on Dafa projects at home. I had a very difficult time concentrating and many of my old attachments that I thought I had disposed of were re-surfacing. My human thinking kicked in and I started to think that I was just working too much and needed a break, or perhaps that I needed to do some "ordinary human things" to balance myself.
By accident, one day while installing some software on my wife's computer, I came across a video game. When I was a kid, I was strongly attached to video games, however, I was very certain that this attachment was gone. I decided to give it a quick try to check out how good video games are these days, and I ended up becoming quickly addicted to it.
Over the next week, in a very uncontrolled manner, I indulged even deeper into my attachment by going on the Internet to find more video games---and there were so many free games! A part of me knew the entire time, that what I was doing was very wrong, yet my human side kept dragging me deeper into my attachment.
I'm not sure if this was arranged, but something very fortunate happenedwhich helped me to start regularly reading the articles on Clearwisdom.net. In the past, I rarely read Clearwisdom.net and used the excuse that I was too busy, and that if I was going to spend any spare time reading, it should be for reading Dafa books. One day, because I was tired of typing so many emails, I decided to look for some speech recognition software. My search was unsuccessful, but instead, I came across a screen reader program that could read, out loud, text on the screen. I decided to have it read a few Clearwisdom articles while I cleaned up our apartment. Since I've always been a much better listener than a reader, this turned out to be an excellent thing and soon I was listening to all the Clearwisdom articles everyday. The articles helped me tremendously in my cultivation and at the same time, our apartment became a lot cleaner!
Seriously, the Clearwisdom articles helped me overcome many obstacles in my cultivation and helped greatly improve my understanding of several profound Fa principles. My understanding of Fa-Rectification and the situation in China improved and I gained new appreciation for the amazing courage and forbearance that the practitioners in China have displayed. Furthermore, the articles help me better understand the current direction of Fa-Rectification. I now try to listen to at least a few articles everyday before I start my Dafa work.
I highly recommend that all practitioners regularly read, or perhaps listen to, clearwisdom.net---I now feel that I would be "in the dark" without it. After listening to several Clearwisdom articles on "Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts", I realized that I should take my attachments more seriously. As recommend in a few articles, I started to send forth righteous thoughts every hour. To remind myself, I set an alarm on my computer to go off every hour. After a few days, I became much clearer while working and I quickly discarded my attachment to video games.
My limited understanding of this experience is that the evil forces were using my attachment to cause me to stop participating in Fa Rectification and to make me fail in cultivation. If I did not have the omission in the first place, the evil forces would not have been able to effect me at all. Through the process of clearing out bad thoughts and karma, and then sending forth righteous thoughts, it made it impossible for the evil to amplify my attachments, and thus, I was able to be clearheaded and remove it.
Conclusion
I have a strong feeling that this precious period of the Fa Rectification Disciples is coming to an end and I thus hope all practitioners can strive forward diligently. I have finally begun to realize what Teacher means in the last paragraph of Ch. 1 in Zhuan Falun: "At present, no other person is truly teaching people toward high levels like me. In the future you will realize what I have done for you."
I know that none of this would be possible without Teacher's infinite compassion---and even when it appears that we are doing work for Teacher and Dafa, it is all really arranged for our own consummation. I feel that the only way to show appreciation for Teacher is to strive forth diligently, complete cultivation and return back to our original true selves.
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