(Clearwisdom.net)
1. Selfishness Between Practice Sites
Not long ago, a practitioner from another city came to talk to us about a long-term Fa-spreading project, which required considerable time and our joint efforts. As I thought that such a project would affect our own local activities, I felt a bit uneasy about it. To help resolve this, I sat down to study the Fa. As I was reading, my mind gradually became calm. Suddenly I realized the fact that I was only concerned about the Fa-spreading activities at our own practice site, but feeling less concerned about activities in other areas is also a reflection of my own degenerated notions. At the root of the problem was still "selfishness."
2. Selfishness Between Practitioners
Recently, there have been a series of Fa-spreading activities in our local area. However, whenever I put forward any suggestions, there would be disagreement from others. I felt very uncomfortable. Later, I thought that their ideas were not bad either, and I should just do as they said and let go of my competitive mentality. But I still did not feel at ease, thinking, "Why should I always have to give in to them and why couldn't we just do things my own way?" Although I actively went along with what they said on the surface, there was always some unhappiness in my heart. Sometimes I even had bad thoughts, "Well, it is his idea, so let him do it himself. I will not participate." Even though it was only a thought, and I did participate actively, I still felt unhappy deep down in my heart. Isn't it true that I did not really fundamentally change? Participating on the surface while not changing in my heart-- for whom did I do all this? Is this cultivation?
Master said when talking about the old forces, "When they're helping me, at the same time they hide their selfish intention of protecting themselves. They all want to change others but not themselves - no one wants to change himself - and they even try to preserve as much as possible the things they're attached to and won't let go of." (unofficial translation of Touring North America to Teach the Fa). I always wanted others to do things my way. Then, wasn't it true that I only wanted to change others but not myself? Wasn't the uneasiness in my heart hiding my selfishness and protecting myself? Upon realizing this, I deeply felt the degenerated notions of selfishness and egotism, which had permeated into my cultivation and daily life. In fact such degenerated notions have provided a breeding ground for the old forces and nurtured the evil, making it possible for them to still exist and to persecute Dafa practitioners according to their evil arrangements. Only by eliminating our own degenerated notions of selfishness and egoism can we fundamentally break through the old forces' arrangements. Only then can we truly let go of selfishness and melt into the Fa. The only way to discover and clear out the degenerated notions is by studying the Fa with a calm mind, by measuring everything with the Fa and by unconditionally looking within ourselves. Even when we feel that it is very painful, we should still unconditionally look within ourselves.
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