(Clearwisdom.net) Haige, my baby, you were born in such an unusual period. Since your first days in my womb, you have experienced much suffering. It is all because of your parents' determination to continue their practice of Falun Dafa, regardless of the persecution we face.
It was a chilly winter day when I learned that I was pregnant. At that time, Mom was imprisoned in an old wooden house. The vicious people there thought that they could break my will to steadfastly cultivate Falun Dafa during my imprisonment there. In order to protest their treatment, I refused to eat. During the time, it didn't bother me that I was always cold and hungry, but I was worried about you, my unborn baby. Four days after I was detained, my work unit confined me to a room in a hotel under its ownership. Since then, your parents have begun their lives in long-term illegal detention. Haige, do you feel that you were also wronged when your parents experienced this?
Your father used to work overseas and had a good job. Yet due to his faith in Falun Gong, he was removed from his job to work as a janitor in the mainland. Mom was also forced to leave a comfortable office environment. During the daytime, I was under close surveillance in the office. At night, I was sent to the hotel where I was locked up. There were times that I had to sweep the streets and pick up garbage, which often left me exhausted. While other pregnant women were enjoying healthy and nutritious diets, I, who was imprisoned, had nothing much to offer you as a mother. Haige, my baby, do you still remember the time when you were hungry in my womb?
Two weeks before you were born, your father and I were finally permitted to go home for a visit. Two weeks after, in a bare and desolate hospital ward, you arrived in this world.
Haige, even though we are a thousand kilometers apart from each other now, I have so many memories of you.
I remember the moment when you were born prematurely and you cried feebly in my arms.
I remember when you were two months old. You would sleep soundly in my arms. Your face, from time to time, would glow with such lovely smiles like only a baby can.
I remember when you were three months old, your eyes would stare at things around you full of curiosity.
I remember when you were four months old, you saw Teacher's picture on the wall for the first time. Your smile could not have been happier.
I remember when you were six months old, Daddy and Mommy had to take you with us and leave our home to avoid being arrested. It was snowing that day. I, your Mommy, held you closely in my arms and wandered on the street. Tiny snowflakes fell on your face, and you stared at the sky with your face up, apparently understanding what steadfastness in our faith meant.
Now you are already over one year old. However, in my heart, I can only remember you as a nine-month-old. When I last saw you, active and endearing, you had already learned how to crawl. When you were nine months old, Mommy was kidnapped and sent to a brainwashing center by authorities in her workplace. I clearly remember that it was a cloudy day. The head representative of the Party in my office brought a few policemen with him, broke into our locked bedroom and took you out of my arms as you were screaming. Mommy was handcuffed and hauled away in a car. Both you and I were sent to and then detained in a vicious brainwashing center. A few days later, you were sent to your grandparents a few hundred li [two li equals one kilometer] away. In this inhuman and abrupt way, you were separated from your mom. I don't know how a young child like you could have spent those painful and helpless days. Later on, I learnt from your Grandpa that you cried all through that night. Even two or three months later, you would cry often during your dreams. Haige, my baby, did you cry because you wanted and missed your mom?
During detention, I was denied sleep, and not knowing what I was doing, I went astray and signed a statement denouncing my faith. Three months later, I was released. When I saw you again, you didn't recognize me any more.
After I was released, I came to realize that I had made a big mistake in signing the statement. To rectify my wrongdoing, to do justice to Falun Gong and to ensure a future when people will have the opportunity to follow the universal principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I decided to make up for my mistake by taking action to clarify the truth about Falun Gong.
Now your Mom is being detained again. I miss you but I am not allowed to see you. From the letter sent by your grandparents, I know that you have already shown your kindness even though you are so young. Mom is very happy about this. Haige, my baby, you are like other children who were born and growing up during this Fa-rectification period. Like your name, Haige, which means the great songs of the sea, you belong to a magnificent time and your songs will forever echo in your mother's heart.
P.S. This letter was forwarded to your father in June 2002.
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