(Clearwisdom.net) I graduated from college last year and moved to a new city. I could not find other Dafa practitioners in this area and could not obtain Master's new articles; hence I felt very lonely. Because of laziness and fear, I gradually became sluggish. During this year I did not study the Fa often; I went out to distribute truth-clarifying material once or twice, but I returned in a hurry because of strong fear in my mind. At the beginning, I would keep sending forth righteous thoughts in my spare time; but gradually, even if there was nothing else for me to do, I would be reluctant to send forth righteous thoughts. I knew that I was drifting away from Dafa and I felt very painful in my mind.
One night I had a dream. I dreamed that on the day when the Fa-rectification of the human world finally arrived, Dafa practitioners who had done well all returned to their holy and incomparably magnificent worlds, but I was left in the human world because of my laziness and negligence. In the human world after the Fa-rectification, all the evil people were eliminated, and the remaining people must go through a very long and painful period to eliminate their karma before they could enter the magnificent new era. What a painful time it was! Draught, burning heat, and the sun roasted the earth; deserts swallowed cities and villages. People were in rags, without food and water. I felt extremely regretful and painful, and I said to my mother, "Before, I did Dafa work with fear because I was afraid of losing my easy and comfortable life. If I had known that life would be so painful [after the Fa-rectification], I would have let go of all my fears and helped Master during the Fa-rectification." But it was too late to regret.
Then I saw my cultivation questionnaire. There were a lot of questions; some were very simple and easy to answer, but because of my laziness I did not answer them. For example the question "sending forth righteous thoughts" was very easy to answer, and its score was very high. If I answered this question completely I would pass the test, but I gave up answering the question. There were many other questions that were even simpler but I did not answer them either. At that moment, the pain and regret in my mind was impossible to describe with any language.
I had tears all over my face when I woke up. I knew that great and benevolent Master still looks after me, is concerned about me and gives me hints for my improvement. I should study the Fa and practice the exercises diligently; I should not give up helping our Master during the Fa-rectification, even if I was alone by myself. Clarifying the truth, sending forth righteous thoughts and studying the Fa--these three things I am able to do in this new environment even though I am alone. How could I forget my responsibility of saving lives? I opened Dafa books and knew that I should have no qualms about the name of "Fa Rectification Period Dafa Disciple," that I should discard all fear and laziness, diligently advance forward, expedite my pace and catch up with the progress of Fa-rectification.
Above is my personal experience and understanding, for fellow practitioners who still seek ease and comfort or such to reference.
Jan. 2, 2003
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