December 7, 2002
(Clearwisdom.net) I had never thought, even in my dreams, that I, who loved to study, would be forced to leave school, leave my beloved teacher and schoolmates. Since childhood, the education I had received was to love my country. But did I love it wrongly? Who was it that changed my beloved country like this?
I learned Falun Gong in Beijing in 1996, when I was ten years old. With my parents' help, I started to study the books and cultivate my xinxing (moral character, mind or heart nature). I often went to the practice site with my dad to join the group exercises. Life was peaceful and happy at that time. Also after practicing Falun Gong, a hereditary disease in my trachea that had bothered me for a very long time, and which all attempts to cure had failed-- also greatly improved. My medical expenses were reduced dramatically. Gradually, I didn't even need to spend one cent on medical expenses. Since then, I have never suffered from the pain of illnesses.
Something I could never have expected did happen beginning on July 20, 1999. In the my beloved country, brutality, deception and violence descended upon my peaceful and happy family. Since Mom and Dad didn't want go against their conscience to say that Falun Gong is not good, they went to appeal at the Appeals Bureau, and were detained many times. When I was in the second grade of Junior High School, the police--those people who in my mind had been the ones who punish evil and reward good--called me out from an English class and told me if I would persuade my mother to stop practicing Falun Gong, they would let me visit her. I didn't want to do so. Those officers talked and cursed, nonstop. Right before they left, one of them pointed at me with his eyes wide open and shouted at me, "I'll give you one more chance. Are you going or not?" Feeling a bit afraid and wronged, I was already crying, but very firmly I told him, "No, I am not going!"
Since then, my life has no longer been peaceful. In junior high school, this kind of "talk" happened to me three times. When I was in class, I was suddenly called out, threatened and questioned. Unexpectedly, on May 1, right before my graduation exams from Junior High School when I just turned fifteen, personnel from the street administration committee and the head of my school used the excuse of visiting my mother to trick me into a brainwashing class.
Because of worrying and the constant harassment, I only got admitted into an average high school. At that time, my dear mother was forced to leave home again, and had not been back for over one year. The persecution against me wasn't over yet, either.
In the beginning of September of this year, the school secretary and the vice president asked me out for another "talk." They asked me if I still practiced Falun Gong. I told them righteously that I still do. I also told them how I benefited from it and that Dafa is good. Dafa practitioners are being persecuted, and are being treated unjustly. By that time I thought they had understood, but against my expectation, in the late afternoon on September 28, the evil police once again kidnapped my father and me to the brainwashing class. A few days later, I felt close to a mental collapse. The tremendous pressure and the endless lies made me feel suffocated every second. I wanted to cry but I was tearless. Finally, I had to leave high school and wander about like my mother.
I want to say loudly, "This is not what I want! This is a choice I had to make against my will."
Those of you who got angry because you failed to brainwash me: Do you know why I didn't appreciate you when you tried to so-called "save" me while being deceived yourselves?
When you confiscated our apartment and said that you would cancel my qualification for the entrance exam to high school under pressure, do you know why I wasn't moved by that?
When you helped a tyrant to do evil, and said if I continue to practice Falun Dafa, you would send me, a girl under the age of 18 who didn't do anything wrong to a forced labor camp, do you know why was I so firm and unshakeable?
When you were utterly furious and wanted to arrest me again to persecute me further, do you know why I still kindly persuaded you to do good deeds? I did it because Falun Dafa is Good! It's because "coercion cannot change people's hearts."
I want to tell you: Dafa is indestructible. Only those who believe the Truth will have a bright future! Don't do things anymore that will harm yourselves and others. My country and the people I love, please, wake up!
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