(Clearwisdom.net)
As the Fa-rectification progresses, I have realized more and more deeply that, at this critical juncture, every thought that our minds create is based upon our daily accumulation of the bits and pieces of righteous thoughts and beliefs, and that to watch for each and every thought in our minds is a crucial step in the process of gradually assimilating with and eventually completely merging into the Fa.
I am 39 this year. Before I practiced Falun Gong, I had heart disease, kidney problems, mental problems, a spinal fracture, cerebral vasospasm, and a cerebral circulatory deficiency. Because of the vasospasms, I would be extremely weak, with no energy to even talk, and any minor noise or activity would upset me so that I would be in a state of agony. Because of my blood deficiency problem, each day when I got up I would find that parts of my arms and my palms had become so swollen that they were almost useless. The heart disease caused me to be restless, even hysterical at times, and given to feeling I would be better off dead. On April 9, 1999, just by chance I noticed some people practicing qigong in my neighborhood. It was then that I was introduced to Falun Gong, and I have been practicing ever since. I got up early in the morning to practice the exercises and went to group Fa study, never missing, no matter how busy my schedule. After one month, my health had greatly improved, and I felt great, like I never had before. I had to say, "Falun Gong is wonderful!"
After July 20 of 1999, all kinds of rumours and fabrications about Falun Gong were thrown up in my face. I was so confused that I stopped practicing. As a result, all my illnesses returned. In agony from my wretched health, I pondered my situation. In the 3 months I had practiced Falun Gong not only was my body cleaned up, but, more importantly, my perspective on life had totally changed. A book that can make people nobler and healthier is absolutely not wrong. After this thought, while I was reading Zhuan Falun, I suddenly realized that what was happening was to test Dafa disciples.
As the Fa-rectification continues, I have recognized that the Old Forces are controlling degenerated beings and evil elements in the Universe to torture and undermine cultivators and to lay roadblocks in our cultivation paths, all under the guise of testing practitioners. The righteous Fa that Teacher taught us is the very shortcut to break through layers upon layers of obstacles in our path. By sharing the facts we need to awaken people to return to their true selves while at the same time we need to see to our own worlds. Although I understand the Fa, it is still very hard to actually do it. Teacher said: "Compliance is cultivation." ("Solid Cultivation" from "Hong Yin", a provisional translation subject to further improvement). Each of us is a product of continuously accumulated karma, ideas, and human thoughts and of influences and interferences from extraneous elements in the course of our numerous previous lives. Sometimes we don't realize this. Due to shallow Fa study or a weak main consciousness, it is sometimes hard to judge if something is done correctly or not. Sometimes, even when we do realize it, we do not completely understand its importance. This may be due to a lack of seriousness or self-control or to the enjoyment of comfort. Consequently, we do not continuously maintain righteous thoughts and beliefs, with the result that we encounter many problems and roadblocks. Whenever we study the Fa diligently and show a clear and strong main consciousness, we will find that the Old Forces' so-called test is really nothing. My experiences of being arrested and released again and again clearly indicate that it is extremely important to pay attention to each and every thought our mind generates.
- Before I went to Beijing to appeal in March 2000, while the People's Congress was in session, I thought to myself, "I could be arrested, and thrown into jail." Exactly as I had anticipated, I was arrested and jailed. (I attribute this to the fact that I was still pretty new and had not done much Fa study; I didn't know how to do things and how to cultivate.)
- In August of 2000, the local government had a photo exhibit defaming Falun Gong. When I went to the exhibit and explained the facts to visitors, I ended up getting arrested. I was confined in a police station for a day and a half. During the night, while I was fast asleep, the police started to escort me to a jail but then changed their mind and released me. (This was when I was very diligent in Fa study, and my heart was righteous.)
- In December of 2000, I went to Beijing again with the thought that "to clarify the truth is to suffocate the evil." After I was arrested, a policeman helped me find a way to get out of the place of detention. (This was when I was very diligent in Fa study, denied persecution all the time, and nullified the detention.)
- In the beginning of December 2001, during the so-called "strike hard" period, I was in and out of a train station that was teeming with police agents. One time when my attachment of zealotry and show-off mentality popped up, truth-clarifying materials fell out of my pocket onto the ground. The police agents, who thought I had lost something, rushed to help me. I ended up getting myself arrested and was detained in the train station for one night. I sent forth righteous thoughts the entire night and was released the next morning. (This was when I did not study the Fa diligently and became attached to doing things. I experienced lots of interference, but after what happened, I could look inside for the reason immediately.)
- At the end of December of 2001, when I was delivering truth-clarifying materials, I reasoned, "So many people are about, who could be suspicious of me if materials were left here?" Consequently, I was followed by a villain all the way to my work unit and got detained in a police station. Even though I was concentrating on sending righteous thoughts, I did not immediately look inside since, due to my lack of Fa study, I did not even know that I should look inside to get rid of my attachments. I ended up being detained illegally for one and a half months. (That December I had not been studying the Fa much, so I experienced lots of interference and could not maintain righteous thoughts. I did not realize this and became attached to doing things, was taken advantage of by the evil and consequently suffered severe persecution.)
When I was released after being illegally detained in 2002, I thought carefully about the mistakes I had made and decided that, no matter what I heard, the first thing to do was to look inside, examine myself, and then get rid of any attachments through righteous thoughts. During my daily life, I would pay attention to each and every thought. I would also diligently encourage myself to clarify the truth and distribute more flyers, never slacking off even a little bit. With all my experiences as proof, I knew that if I had righteous thoughts, I would be able to peacefully overcome even seemingly risky situations, perhaps frightening but with no real risk. (Note: When frightened, I would examine myself, or I would overcome the fear peacefully.) At this moment, I suddenly understand our right mental state when sending righteous thoughts: whether we are walking, eating, or working, we all can quietly recite the Fa-rectification verses. I realize that we should strengthen or accumulate our righteous thoughts and beliefs little by little through correcting each and every bad thought to fulfill our goal of gradual assimilation with and complete immersion into the Fa.
Please, my fellow practitioners, kindly point out any inappropriate points in my article.
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