(Clearwisdom.net)
An everyday person's thought is usually out of selfishness. It happens whenever there is contact with others, so conflicts and competition for personal interest appear one after another. When I clarified the truth in the past, I often argued and debated, especially with my coworkers and people that I am familiar with. Every time this happened, I looked into myself to see whether my thought was out of my selfishness; in the end, I concluded that I was not being selfish. I truly wanted them to learn the truth so they would have a good future. But why did conflicts always happen?
One day, I saw Master's words, "selflessness and altruism" when I was reading Essentials for Further Advancement. ("Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature") I realized all of sudden that although I was not selfish while clarifying the truth, I didn't meet the requirement of altruism. What I should do is only to clarify the truth. I should just do what I'm supposed to do, instead of being attached to or going after results. To believe or not is their choice and for them to position themselves. If I forcibly instill my thoughts into them with the excuse of doing it for their well-being and try to force them to believe what I said, it is equivalent to my making a choice for them and depriving them of their right to choose.
I should try my best to understand them and think about what is most important to them. I should care more about them rather than myself. I should not be attached to what I want them to be, what I want to do or what results I want to accomplish. So much "ego" will make my thoughts impure and cut them off from kindness. I was trying to persuade them and trying to force them to believe me.
I realize that there is a big gap between "selflessness" and "selflessness and altruism." In fact, my desires, understandings, opinions, perspective, ways of thinking, etc. were related to egotism and not detached from selfishness. If I think more about other's perspective, and level of understanding, the effect of clarifying the truth will be better. I should also pay attention not to hurt them or adversely affect them. Now when I look back, not only did I not meet the requirement of "selflessness and altruism", I always pursued the results. I always thought, "Why should I clarify the truth if there is no effect? Isn't that a waste of my time?" In fact, with pursuit, it seems that those thoughts are already not righteous. Master says, "Do but pursue not----- Often stay in the Dao." (Hong Yin: "In the Dao" ) It's not right for practitioners to pursue anything. Even when we practice with a heart of cultivation, we are obtaining gong without any pursuit. After tracking down my thoughts, I found that my sense of self was manifested in every aspect, for example, when coordinating with other practitioners. Afterwards, I still defended myself by saying that I was not selfish. I didn't realize that this "selflessness" corrupted with such a strong sense of self is actually a distorted form of selfishness. Even when studying the Fa, I let my egotism emerge, instead of assimilating myself to the Fa.
In the future, I will purify my thoughts while clarifying the truth. I will assimilate my thinking and words to the Fa, and manifest the power of the Fa. In doing so, it will lead to more people waking up to the truth; otherwise, they may well lose a precious opportunity.
May 10, 2003
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