(Clearwisdom.net) I had a conflict with a fellow practitioner that led me to do some deep reflecting, and allowed me to see that I had the shadow of the old forces imprinted on my body. I made the resolution to remove it and to break away from the old universe and the old forces thoroughly. When I realized that by doing this my life was totally renewed, I developed the desire to write about this process.
Master said as early as 1997,
"I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism." ("Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature," Essentials for Further Advancement)
Therefore, for a very long time, I thought that I had been cultivating based on "selflessness and altruism" and "always considering others first" whenever encountering a difficulty. However, just recently, I had a conflict with a fellow practitioner, which made me carefully examine my "always considering others first."
The situation went something like this: A fellow practitioner, who was forced to live in exile, had to work as a maid for a living. Afterwards, I heard that the employer was dissatisfied with her work. Therefore, I asked another fellow practitioner, who was regarded as a good person by everybody, to come for experience sharing and to help her to look inside.
After everyone expressed their opinions, I said to her while pointing at the fellow practitioner who was considered a good person, "Think about it, if Betsy [assumed name] worked as a maid in that house, would she make the employer dissatisfied?" In fact, our every word and action is a manifestation of the "truth." If we do well in all areas, isn't this the best way to validate the Fa? I assumed that this fellow practitioner must have thought it over, figured out her problem, and upgraded according to the principles of the Fa after such experience sharing plus our giving her financial help. When I saw her again, I was filled with hope and confidence, and asked her, "How is it going? You must have fixed everything by now." To my surprise, she was extremely upset and said to me, "Don't you know how much your words hurt me?"
"Hurt her?" Facing such an unexpected complaint, I was confused. Feeling extremely puzzled, I asked her, "Which words of mine hurt you?" She said, "It was that sentence about 'what would it be like if Betsy worked as a maid?'" I could not understand what her problem was. I did not say anything, so as to avoid intensifying the conflict further, but I felt extremely grieved since I thought that I had been truly helping her wholeheartedly, without even a slight thought of selfishness!
The fundamental difference between a Dafa practitioner and an ordinary person is that a Dafa practitioner searches inside when facing a conflict. After painstakingly looking inside, I found that my "always considering others first" had impure elements, such that I was expecting a result, and complicating the situation with my desires. I was imposing the ideas that I thought were good on others. I must relinquish such desires! At that moment, my thought was to keep the "good" and abandon the impure.
Consequently, I carefully tried to distinguish the impure from the "good," but could not go beyond my original thinking and get rid of my past ways no matter how hard I tried. After doing a lot of thinking, I still could not understand. Then, I suddenly realized that my way of thinking, and all the "me's" (either positive or negative ones) were formed in the old universe. Master said,
"If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation" ("Cautionary Advice," Essentials for Further Advancement).
Then, I realized that all that I have, my every thought and idea, and my every cell were formed in the old universe over a long period of time. However, I was still trying to distinguish the good from the bad, and was trying to keep this and to abandon that. "I don't want any of it!" I sent forth this thought from the bottom of my heart. My past, and all of what I had will have nothing to do with the "new me" from now on.
When I understood this, I discovered that I had been continuously and stubbornly defending my old me. I brought the old me along in whatever I did, and the image of the old me could be seen everywhere. Isn't that the same as the old forces when they stubbornly defend themselves and hold onto their attachments? I suddenly realized that the old forces had influenced me a lot and had a close connection with me (I am not saying that we ourselves are the old forces; we are not). "We don't want it!" When I had this thought, I suddenly felt that I was breaking away from the old universe and becoming a completely new life, a life that has chosen the new universe!
At that time, I became aware of the reason why the old evil forces still exist. It is because there is root, soil, and space that allow them to live among our cultivators. So we shouldn't take it lightly. Meanwhile, I also felt that I truly understood what Master once said,
"Any amount of money or any kind of help you give them won't be as good as informing them about the Fa, which is the best thing to do" (Falun Buddha Fa - Lecture at the First Conference in North America).
This is because the Fa is the only hope for sentient beings in the universe to prolong their lives! I feel that I had not understood the true significance of "clarifying the facts" until then. That is, clarifying the facts is to provide an opportunity for more sentient beings in the old universe to be saved.
I feel that I have finally begun to get in touch with the realm of the beings in the new universe; it is a realm of selflessness and pure benevolence! I know how I should treat all people (including both ordinary human beings and practitioners). I should show them the pure benevolence and goodness of Dafa. Furthermore, all of what I do is for others, without the slightest thought for myself, no "me" at all. All of "me" has originated from the Fa. It is the Fa that has forged "me." At that time, I felt that I was immersed in the Fa, and was together with the Fa!
These are a few of my experiences and understandings during my cultivation in the Fa-rectification. Please point out any inappropriate areas.
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