(Clearwisdom.net) As Fa-rectification progresses forward, practitioners who truly cultivate Falun Dafa are continuously improving within Dafa. Many practitioners, however, are still troubled by the attachment of lust. There are even some practitioners who are thought to be very diligent by everyone, yet, they still have this predicament to different extents. When sharing experiences with a group, it's difficult to address this subject. Therefore, I wish to share my experience and understanding about this issue; how I have searched within and discovered the attachment, and how I had been troubled by it for a long time without being able to eliminate it.
First, I think we should be careful about every thought we have. Every thought exists in other dimensions as matter. The old evil forces are watching us closely and will grasp the opportunity to attack us whenever they see a loophole. If a cultivator is not diligent, they will find a way to completely destroy him. A person who used to cultivate Dafa told his wife before his death that he had visited prostitutes, an action that seriously violated the standard for a practitioner. The incident shocked us. Although the case is a very special one, it still alarmed us.
When I was detained in jail, the thought of lust used to appear in my mind, because the inmates around me talked about sex a lot and some discussions were really filthy. At that time, I did not realize the principle that the environment around me was related to my own state. Had my mind been very righteous, I would have restrained the other people around me with no effort. At that time, I held the belief that being in jail allowed me to maintain a "little bit" of such thoughts. I did not take the issue seriously. Therefore, the thought appeared a second and then a third time. Then, in my dream, I encountered the demon of lust, which appeared as my husband. Although I failed the test in the dream, I still did not take the issue seriously. The tests in my dream kept repeating themselves. I failed over and over again. The problem worsened. Eventually, the demon of lust took the form of a total stranger, and I completely failed the test. Only then did I start to worry about it. After some effort, I managed to control myself in my dreams most of the time. I came to understand that I should eliminate every bad thought immediately.
Another attachment that many practitioners easily ignore is the love between a man and woman. For example, feeling attracted to a person of the opposite sex, or, among practitioners, it starts out with feelings of respect toward a practitioner of the opposite sex, which then unwittingly changes to feelings of love between a man and a woman. At this time, we should be alarmed and examine our minds closely and clear away the bad thoughts. If we are still not clear, we should examine our thoughts and imagine how others would think about them. In doing this, we can easily recognize if there is any shameful thought or thoughts that could not be brought out into the public.
During the past two months, there were quite a few articles on Clearwisdom that talked about love affairs among practitioners who were forced to become homeless and go from place to place. The emotions grew from being reluctant to part with one another, to admiration and then to being inseparable. Furthermore, there were sexual relations and affairs outside marriages among practitioners. But, I won't address this subject at this time. I think most practitioners involved in the issue of emotions between a man and woman are very concerned, since they have cultivated themselves well in many aspects, and they have contributed much to the Fa-rectification. When these emotions first appeared in their minds, they failed to catch them and eliminate them. Indulgence is the opposite of cultivation, since eliminating the bad thoughts, including those sentiments, are what cultivation is all about. Cultivation is a serious matter: once the bad thoughts and attachments form as matter, it is hard to eliminate them.
I think every practitioner should look within about this issue and ask him or herself this question: If I was in that kind of environment, can I guarantee that I won't make similar mistakes? When I first read about these articles, a thought popped up in my mind: "Instead of merging into the Fa-rectification cultivation and saving sentient beings, these practitioners are still holding on to human behavior." It took me a while before I remembered to look within for my own attachments. When I did, I was shocked. I found that I also had feelings toward some male practitioners. Because there is such a big mental gap between practitioners and ordinary people, as a practitioner I would not be interested in an ordinary person. But, the impure "good feelings" toward some practitioners often appeared in my mind. The fact that I did not make any actual mistakes in that regard in action does not mean I did not have the attachment. Everyone's cultivation environment is different, yet we all have to meet the xinxing standard of a Dafa practitioner.
Once we discover the attachment, it needs to be eliminated. First, I think we need to be clear about the issue, based on the principles of the Fa. Teacher said,
"When your righteous thoughts are firm and when you can repel those things, I remove them for you bit by bit; however much you can do, that's how much I remove for you and diminish for you." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
When I truly try to repel the attachments, I felt very deep pain in the heart. The attachments would even create an illusion, making me feel that the more I repel them the stronger they get, making me feel that my effort was useless and would take forever. The attachments tried their best to make me give up my efforts to eliminate them. I feel now that I should have a strong main consciousness and be clear-headed. The karma was created because I failed to be strict with myself and lowered my guard, giving the attachment free reign. Therefore, eliminating the karma and attachment will be a painfully difficult process, for sure. In the beginning when I tried to eliminate the attachment, I felt weak and failed many times. Later on, I held righteous thoughts, "If I fail again in the battle with the attachment and karma, I would rather die in the battlefield." The more I suffered, the harder I tried to advance. Finally, I indeed succeeded.
Teacher said in Zhuan Falun (Lecture 6, "Demonic Interference in Cultivation"),
"If you cannot let the attachment go, you will not be able to discard anything. Therefore, the real purpose of cultivation is to cultivate your heart."
Some practitioners force themselves to stay away from those they are attracted to. In my opinion, that is not necessary. If we can focus on how to eliminate the attachment, and regard the situation as an environment for improving our xinxing, then we will for sure succeed. In Zhuan Falun, Teacher said,
"If you want to achieve tranquility through some techniques or methods, I would call this searching for external help. ... In genuine cultivation practice one must cultivate one's own heart and inner self." "The complex environment, in my view, is instead a good thing. The more complex it is, the greater the persons it will produce. If one can elevate oneself above and beyond it, one's cultivation will be the most solid." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 9, "A Clear and Clean Mind")
Moreover, while we are in the process of eliminating the attachment, I believe that we need to be responsible to Dafa. We must be careful on how we are looking at the situation. Do we evaluate the situation on the basis of self-cultivation or on the basis of being responsible to Dafa. Will the forceful separation cause a personnel shortage for Dafa work? If one can consider Dafa first, and let go of self, I think the attachment can be eliminated in no time.
I wish to further suggest that all practitioners who have not done well concerning the issue of lust, or who have been troubled by the attachment for a long time, to openly speak about the problem with fellow practitioners. Doing this will greatly help eliminate the attachment. The degenerated matter (attachments, karma, etc.) is most afraid of being exposed. By speaking about them, we have already started to expel and eliminate them.
The aforementioned is my personal view on the subject. I hope that all practitioners can share their views, truly cultivate and advance diligently on our cultivation paths.
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