(Clearwisdom.net) In September 1997, I was fortunate to learn Falun Dafa. I was not only freed from the misery of neurasthenia, gastric and gynecological problems, kidney disease, etc. but also came to understand that the meaning of life is to return to one's original true self. I shared the benefits of Falun Gong with others, bought books with my own money to give to others, voluntarily helped out other people, and became valued by my colleagues, neighbors, relatives, and friends.
On July 20, 1999, Jiang's regime started a brutal persecution of Falun Gong. Initially the assistance center coordinators bore the brunt of the persecution. The police department, police station, residents' committee and workplace ceaselessly bullied, deceived, intimidated, followed, and monitored practitioners. Practitioners' family members who did not practice Falun Gong could not understand practitioners and sometimes implicated and persecuted them. My husband asked me to give up the practice, and my daughter cried to me and left home twice. Because of the high-pressured persecution, I wrote a statement in which I guaranteed not to practice Falun Gong, but it was against my will and I have since published a solemn declaration voiding the statement. I have experienced a great deal during the past five years. I could feel Teacher's merciful protection all the time, which enabled me to still believe in Dafa after enduring frustrations and fear, but no danger, on the rough path of validating the Fa.
I deeply realized what Teacher said about
"...the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Zhuan Falun)
Below is a brief report on my cultivation experiences during the five years of persecution, written to bring confidence and encouragement to fellow practitioners who have not stepped forward and so that others may offer their valuable ideas. In the final period of the Fa-rectification, let's strive forward together, do the three things well required by Teacher, and accomplish the great historical mission we are shouldering.
1. Studying the Fa well is the ultimate guarantee of cultivating oneself well and clarifying the truth well
When the persecution of Falun Gong first began, the mood outside my home was really tense. My family members also put a lot of pressure on me, but I tried to find a solution by reading Zhuan Falun and studying the Fa. With Teacher's merciful arrangements, although I had no Dafa books at home, I could always read, or I would recite the book when I could not read. In March 2001, I was taken to a brainwashing center. Although I negated the vicious slander, defamations, and fabrications from my heart, and although I recited the Fa every day and told people the truth, I was swayed by the brainwashing and pretended to be "transformed." After I returned home, I knew I had done wrong. My determination to keep practicing and reading the book was very firm. Although my husband told everyone I knew not to let me read Dafa books, Teacher took care of me, and I was able to read the book the second day after I returned home. I kept reading and forgot to sleep or eat. Two weeks later, I again joined the immense force of validating the Fa.
Now I regard Fa study as the first priority. No matter how busy I am, I must study the Fa. I even recite the Fa while I am walking, riding my bike, or catching a bus.
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Through Fa study, I can clearly distinguish my true self from my postnatal human concepts. I can be more steadfast in my righteous thoughts and righteously walk my own path of cultivation to the best of my abilities. Dafa is the wellspring to firm my righteous thoughts.
2. Reading the Minghui website to keep up with the process of Fa-rectification
For five years the evil has been severely persecuting Falun Gong practitioners in China. Every practitioner must not only eradicate and resist the persecution and harassment from police departments, police stations, communities, and workplaces, while telling them the truth, but also do housework, perform well at work, appropriately help non-practicing family members understand the situation, study the Fa even more conscientiously, clarify the truth, and send forth righteous thoughts to save sentient beings. This is truly difficult. During the persecution, some practitioners had no access to Teacher's new articles, could not read or did not want to read articles on the Minghui website (the Clearwisdom website is its English version), and were unable to catch up with the process of Fa-rectification. I would like to share my experiences of how reading Clearwisdom made it possible for me keep up with the pace of Fa-rectification.
Between 2001 and 2002, I also read the Clearwisdom website, but I could only read a little due to limited access and, more importantly, my own fear. As soon as I saw the words of the Clearwisdom website, fear and discomfort surfaced. Through studying the Fa, I realized that the attachment of fear is also a substance, it does not belong to the true self, and so I must get rid of it. When practitioners are severely persecuted, when information is blocked, and when the cultivation environment is damaged, the Clearwisdom website is a window on the Fa-rectification period. Its "Practitioners Exchange Experiences and Insights" is just like our Fa experience sharing conferences before July 20, 1999. The cultivation format Teacher left us is group practice and Fa conferences. Teacher also told us to read the position of Clearwisdom on important issues.
Even though I sent forth righteous thoughts to abandon the attachment of fear, initially I only read about the Fa-rectification situation overseas and "Practitioners Exchange Experiences and Insights." I was still too scared to read the facts about the practitioners that were tortured to death or illegally arrested. I looked inwards and realized that fear still existed in me, so I continued to send forth righteous thoughts to get rid of the fear. Now I read every article on the Clearwisdom website. When I read that practitioners are tortured to death, arrested or persecuted in other ways, I can't help but send out strong righteous thoughts. When I read that practitioners are persecuted by the evil because of their loopholes, besides negating the old forces' arrangements and sending forth righteous thoughts to eradicate the evil, I can also understand it from within the Fa, remind myself of the seriousness of treating cultivation with righteous thoughts, and rationally pay attention to issues affecting safety.
I am often moved to tears by the magnificent feats of the truly cultivating and diligent practitioners who completely let go of their attachments and save sentient beings. I often compare myself, find my attachments, and get rid of them over time. I urge myself to do my best to keep up with the process of Teacher's Fa-rectification.
3. The cultivation process of making a "solemn declaration"
As a result of official harassment, deception, intimidation, and high-pressure tactics, I was forced to write a "Guarantee Statement," something that I should not have done. I realized my mistake through studying the Fa and have been trying to make up for the damage I caused. I stepped forward to tell the truth in October 2000, and I have been doing the three things required by Teacher, but I did not yet dare to make the solemn declaration that would void my "Guarantee Statement." I even looked for excuses for myself to cover up my fear. However, I often recited Teacher's articles. I recited Teacher's articles published after July 20 and Hongyin at least once a week. Every time I recited these words:
"When they return to their senses, they will immediately start doing again what a Dafa student should do during this time, and, in the meantime, will declare as null and void everything that they said and wrote when they were not in their right minds due to intense persecution, and will declare that they are determined in cultivation." ("Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I felt I should make a solemn declaration, but I did not have the courage to do it.
After I read more and more of Teacher's new articles, I suddenly realized that if I didn't do what Teacher taught us, then I was walking on the path arranged by the old forces. There was no way I would follow the old forces' arrangements! I must do what Teacher told me! I must make my solemn declaration on the website: "I declare as null and void anything I said or did that does not comply with Dafa while I was not in my right mind due to the intense persecution. I forever follow my Teacher, I am determined in cultivation!" Although I was very firm, still the fear resurfaced while I was writing the declaration. I felt as if I were a child who had just learned to walk and talk, and that Teacher is always next to me, mercifully protecting me and teaching me how to walk and talk.
I collected thousands of fax numbers, telephone numbers, and email addresses, and wanted to provide them to the Clearwisdom editors, but I did not how to use the computer or to type. There was no one there to help me. I knew that nothing was accidental. Teacher had probably arranged for me to learn to use the computer and to type, and so I started to learn typing. When I typed the words "police department," "police station," resident's committee," etc., the nameless fear emerged again. I realized that the attachment of fear was hidden very deeply and was very strong. Although I frequently went out to distribute flyers, the fear still existed. I sent forth righteous thoughts to abandon the fear and continued typing the information. Three days later, by the time I had finished typing, I felt I had gotten rid of a lot of the fear.
Through a great deal of Fa study, clearing away the fear, and sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference in other dimensions, I finally wrote the solemn declaration in an open and honorable way and solemnly and discreetly gave it to some fellow practitioners to send to the Clearwisdom website. I felt I had abandoned many bad substances and felt more steadfast in my cultivation.
4. Take sending forth righteous thoughts seriously, eliminate one's negative thoughts and interference from the demons and rotten ghosts in other dimensions
Teacher said in the Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.,
"Let me tell you, all those who remain and that can persecute Dafa and Dafa disciples are due to our students themselves. Students who haven't taken sending forth righteous thoughts seriously: the evil in the dimensions that you are supposed to shoulder and be responsible for has not been eliminated. That's the cause. So you must take sending forth righteous thoughts seriously. No matter whether you think you have the ability or not, you should do it."
I took sending forth righteous thoughts very seriously. Between 2002 and 2003, I tried my best to remember sending forth righteous thoughts at the set times. There was a period of time that I went to sleep earlier, yet I miraculously always woke up at 11:55 at night. I sent forth righteous thoughts from 10 to 20 times a day. Especially when I went to other areas to distribute Falun Gong flyers or post flyers, I certainly cleared away my negative thoughts first. On the way there, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eradicate all the evil interference in other dimensions where I was going to save people and asked Teacher to give me strength. On the way home, I sent forth righteous thoughts to get rid of evil that prevented people from reading the flyers and to let whoever read the flyers truly understand the truth and spread it to others with a predestined relationship. If we do not take sending forth righteous thoughts seriously, there will be more interference.
For example, one afternoon I did not pay too much attention to sending forth righteous thoughts because I was short of time. I left home with 99 flyers. I arrived at a residential building and went to the top floor to begin distributing flyers to one household after the other. When I was on the fourth floor, a door was half open. I put a flyer under the door and noticed that it was very quiet inside. I continued to walk down the stairs. On the third floor, one door was 70% open. I still inserted a flyer underneath the door. Suddenly a man in his thirties came out of one apartment and looked at me, "What are you putting under the door? I want to see what you are distributing." He looked like he was going to open the door but did not. Because my workplace had asked me to rent a residence at that time, I answered him with a smile, "I want to rent a residence." At the same time, I sent out strong righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil behind him. I was going to say more to him, but I heard a voice telling me "Quickly go!" I suddenly remembered the more than 90 flyers in my bag! I ran downstairs with quick steps, got on my bike and left. I felt extremely bad: Had I behaved like a cultivator? Would a god do such a thing? I did not do well at that time, but I will start to do well from now on.
Then I sent out strong righteous thoughts: "Eliminate all interference from the evil demons and rotten ghosts in other dimensions. I must go to save the sentient beings. Reject evil persecution. Reject evil interference. Teacher, please give me strength!" In this way, I handed out the remaining 90 flyers to people. Here, I would like to remind my fellow practitioners to take sending forth righteous thoughts seriously: the materials handed out must be received by people with a predestined relationship!
5. Small stories of righteous thoughts and righteous acts under the merciful protection of Teacher
1) It was probably during the New Year of 2000 that some officers from the local police station and the chief of the resident's committee came to my home and tried to make me write a "Guarantee Statement." I told them of the benefits I had gained from practicing Falun Gong, but they did not want to listen. When they tried to force me to write the statement, I refused. The area policeman told me to wait for their director to arrive the following day, and then he angrily left. At that time, Teacher had not told us the Fa of sending forth righteous thoughts. I simply remembered that Teacher had said it is not an accident when one encountered a conflict. One must look inwards to see one's shortcomings. So where had I gone wrong? Suddenly Teacher's Fa appeared in my mind,
"While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person's heart, whereas commands never could!" ("Clearheadedness" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I saw that I was not kindhearted.
The next day, the area policeman actually brought four officers to my home, including the director and two police officers. I had no fear at all. I smiled at them and said, "You have been working hard. I will get a drink for you." I put away the exercise music tapes as I passed by. I got five glasses of water for them and then sat down to tell them my experiences of practicing Falun Gong with a smile on my face. I told them that after practicing Falun Gong, many of my illnesses had disappeared. Dafa teaches us to be a good person and to look for own shortcomings when encountering conflicts. I described what I did as a volunteer assistance center coordinator, that I served people voluntarily with my own savings, and about the benefits that my neighbor gained from Dafa. I talked a lot, and they actually listened to me. Two policemen walked around in my home several times, searching here and looking there. My heart was as tranquil as water, and I just wanted to try my best to tell them the wonderfulness of Dafa. The area policeman called my husband aside and whispered to him for a while, and then the director also went over and whispered to my husband. After that they all left.
After they left, my husband told me that the five of them were from the police station and the criminal police team. They worked together to arrest people, but they saw I was a good person, so they could not be so cruel as to take me away. I understood in my heart, however, that it was because of Teacher's merciful protection. Teacher is always next to me and protecting me.
2) One day in the autumn of 2003, about 5 p.m., I went to a residential building to hand out flyers. While I was going upstairs, I sent forth righteous thoughts: Do not let others see me. I walked up, and on the fourth floor a person came down who happened to know me very well. I was wondering how to greet her. However, she and I brushed past each other, but she did not see me and just walked down the stairs. I continued to distribute the flyers in the building. When I finished, I felt very happy and thought my righteous thought had been effective. I then went to another building, still keeping the thought of not letting others see me. Unexpectedly, on the fourth floor, I again met a person that I knew. I was not going to greet to her, but she spoke first, "Hi, how are you? I have not seen you for many years. Who are you looking for?" I wanted to dodge any negative response, so I stopped handing out the flyers and walked down the stairs with her. I looked inwards and straight away realized my mentality of showing off and the attachment of zealotry had been used by the demons. Although I sent out the same thoughts and did the same things, my mentality was not the same and the impact was clearly the opposite. I deeply enlightened to the seriousness of cultivation.
3) At 11 a.m. on a day in the summer of 2004, I went to work. I had a flyer in my bag and was going to post it. Because I was busy at work, I quickly went into an uninhabited courtyard. I saw the first block next to the reception room had an electronic door and thought it would be difficult for the residents to see Falun Gong materials there. I sent out a righteous thought of not letting others see me. I stuck the flyer onto the electronic door. Just as I turned around, a young lady walked towards me with a key in her hand. She was over a meter away from me and going to open the electronic door with the key. It looked like she did not even see me.
I have experienced many things during the past five years, and I deeply realized the importance of studying the Fa and the seriousness of cultivation. Especially since the winter of 2000, I have been clarifying the truth, distributing flyers, posting letters, sticking up posters, and so on. I often experienced shock but no danger. Especially when I encountered big tribulations, I could always feel Teacher was next to me and protecting me. Although I have experienced many big ordeals, I still firmly believe in Teacher and Falun Dafa and try my best to do the three things well. All of this comes from studying the Fa. Over almost four years now, I have handed out 4500 flyers, sent out 350 letters, stuck up 300 posters, distributed 100 truth-clarification VCD's, and clarified the truth to more than 200 people face to face. Except for life's necessities, I spend all my income and savings on materials for clarifying the truth.
While validating the Fa, although I have gotten rid of many human notions and have done what I should do as a Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period, I feel I am still far from the requirements of Fa at different levels and from other more diligent practitioners. In the remaining Fa-rectification period, I will be more diligent, get rid of all human attachments, strive forward to do the three things well, and save the sentient beings. I will try my best to closely keep up with the process of Teacher's Fa-rectification and accomplish the sacred mission that I shoulder!
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