Teacher and all present:
I started practicing Falun Dafa about 5 years ago when I obtained the Fa through the Internet. When I encountered the sacred work Zhuan Falun I felt deep down that it wasn't an ordinary book and I knew from the beginning how to appreciate it. However, my cultivation progressed very, very slowly in the early years because I had no fellow practitioners, and there were no practice sites in the southern most Province near the Antarctic where I come from. That's why I had to study alone before destiny guided me to my present locality, the northernmost city of Argentina, where a little practice group exists.
In the beginning I used to only read the book without understanding how to do the exercises. It was later that I found China Falun Gong and I could guide myself arduously with the help of photos in the book. But even after I learned them, I practiced them very irregularly because I didn't want to be seen by my parents, who were opposed to my practice from the beginning. I had to be very cautious, just reading the book. The first time they learned of the practice I only suffered reproaches. The second time, when they knew I persisted in practicing Falun Dafa, they scolded me severely. I left Falun Dafa for the first time, because I doubted the Fa. I thought that if Teacher were really protecting me, I would not have to suffer my parents' opposition to my cultivation. What a poor quality of understanding I had then! Fortunately, not long after I could see that the situation had been created precisely in order to test if I were really determined to cultivate Dafa. So I returned to my cultivation path.
In July 1999, when the terrible persecution started, I could see on TV some images I did not understand until years later. But from that time I kept treasured in my mind the testimony of a young practitioner who--despite being raped by the police --declared that she would continue practicing Falun Gong. I confess I also felt very happy to see for the first time other people practicing the movements I had only seen in photos. However, as I already mentioned, my cultivation did not progress quickly, because I was immersed in the dye vat of ordinary people, and at only 17, it was very difficult for me to act as a cultivator because of the fear of being left out of my circle of friends.
Later, I could not overcome the attachment of lust; I had obscene thoughts all the time and I let myself be controlled by them. Every time I fell in that aspect, I had more remorse, which led me to give up the path of cultivation for the second time. I neither felt myself worthy of being called a Dafa practitioner nor of being a disciple of such a great Master. The feeling I had during the two times I stopped my practice was like being in a total vacuum. I was depressed the whole time because I did not see the purpose of being an ordinary person, and I could not feel any motivation for getting up every day. The subconscious motivation when one practices Falun Dafa is very clear: one wakes up with the desire of being a better cultivator. Some time passed, and I was telling a friend that the path of cultivation is very profound, but how arduous it is and how much one has to sacrifice! At the same time I was saying those words, I enlightened that if the path was really difficult, it was also righteous. So, couldn't I sacrifice that attachment that made me give up, in order to continue the path to perfection? That's how I began the practice again. However, after this, my heart had doubts if Teacher would accept me again as a disciple after I behaved as I did. But, thanks to a practitioner from another place in Argentina with whom I talked over the Internet, I could understand that past mistakes do not matter, what counts is to get up and go on with one's cultivation. This practitioner is very righteous, and dispelled my doubts like this many times.
Time passed and I moved to the northern part of Argentina to attend a university. That was two years ago, and now I can see that for many reasons I had to find this place where I live today. But although there already existed a cultivation group who practiced regularly, it took me more than a year to find it. When I had the chance to find out about other people practicing Falun Dafa, I went immediately to join them. When I looked inside through the practice place's window, I saw 5 or 6 persons practicing the second exercise and I was deeply moved. It was the first time I saw so directly somebody doing the movements, and I went in and felt at home. I talked with them and I felt that my heart was relieved to find other hearts that understood the Fa. From then on I have not cultivated alone anymore. It was in this group where I found my wife and the mother of my future child. Since I could share understandings with other practitioners, my cultivation moved faster. Of course, not at the velocity I wanted. However, being with other cultivators strengthens one's heart and keeps one from losing oneself in the society of everyday people. I began to make efforts in every aspect, even in doing the exercises. With effort I could double-cross my legs, something that used to seem to me almost impossible.
By that time, the lawsuits against Jiang Zemin in Chicago, USA had begun, and that was the starting point of all the lawsuits all over the world. I started to be conscious of what the meaning of sending righteous thoughts was, and of how opportunistic the old forces could be. It was in July 2003 when they manipulated my parents, who still stood in opposition to my cultivation. They put in my path the biggest test up to that moment in my cultivation. I had the idea to let them know about the persecution, thinking that maybe they had already changed their way of thinking a long time ago. When they learned the most terrible things, such as the torture of practitioners in China, they were horrified and tried to force me to give up Falun Dafa because they feared I could also be a victim of the persecution.
In those days we had many long-distance arguments (because they still lived in the south) and they even gravely insulted Teacher. To make me give up, they told me that if I wanted to go on practicing, I had to leave my grandmother's house immediately, where I lived then, in order to not put my relatives at risk. The old forces wanted to use my sentiment for my parents to make me give up cultivation. But, with the support of my practitioner girlfriend, I made the decision to leave my home. Actually, that was the condition if I wanted to continue in Dafa.
A couple of days later, after leaving home, I had a phone call from my parents and I fell down again, promising them I would abandon the practice. Actually those were not my plans precisely; my plan was to continue practicing secretly. But later I realized that this was the same of signing a repentance declaration in a Chinese jail. It was my girlfriend again who, by reading me some passages from one of Teacher's lectures, made me reflect and take a firm stance. I again reaffirmed to my parents my aim to practice, a stance I still maintain today. They had no choice but to accept my decision and asked me to return to the home of my grandmother.
From that moment on, even though there were no such hard tests anymore, they still continued to discuss Falun Dafa at every opportunity. I think they are a clear example of the many people that have been deceived by the old forces' lies. They started to be contaminated by the Party's propaganda in June 1999. So, I say: how many people are we going to allow to be tricked by the lies the Party uses in order to turn them against Falun Gong? Those who have the chance to navigate the internet and type keywords such as "Falun Gong", "Falun Dafa" or the name of our Honorable Teacher into search engines, may know that the information media are infested with lies that incite hatred towards Dafa. I again use my parents as examples of people who are victims of that published information.
Due to all this, and the situation that exists in this time before the Fa-rectification, I think that Dafa disciples must not neglect either the sending of righteous thoughts or Fa study. Sometimes one might stop sending righteous thoughts because there is no necessary motivation at that moment or maybe one is busy with things. I've noticed it in me and I've noticed it in many other practitioners. So, I wonder, where is our Dafa-disciples' great mercy? The sending of righteous thoughts mustn't be considered the same as punching a time card at work, or be considered as an everyday person's obligation. I think many of us have verified that it is impossible to send any righteous thought if doing so is considered as an obligation. Instead, they are very strong when they are born from one's heart, from the benevolence of Zhen-Shan-Ren. Sometimes, although I have the intention, I begin to doubt if I really can change something with the sending forth of righteous thoughts. I suppose that many of you have already wondered, is my gong powerful enough to rectify the cosmos? I think that it doesn't matter if our gong is high or small. If having sacrificed 1, 5 or 10 years sending righteous thoughts, sitting cross-legged and with the palm erected was useful to rectify even just a corner of the Three Realms or to save just one life on the other side of the world, I must not regret doing it. However, I think that today we cannot yet realize the power of the thoughts because many of us cannot see other dimensions.
The same happens in the case of validating the Fa. Fellow disciples, let's appreciate the value of each word, of giving a flyer in the street or to our acquaintances.
Fellow practitioners, I don't have much to add. Let's study the Fa more, participate in Fa rectification, and validate the Fa. Let's talk about the Fa whenever we have the chance.
In conclusion, please accept some advice our Teacher once gave to measure xinxing, something that is very useful in our cultivation. Let's ask ourselves at every moment: how would an enlightened person manage this?
I want to thank Teacher for guiding us and giving us the chance of being Falun Dafa disciples in the Fa rectification period.
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Category: Experience Sharing Conferences
