(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Dafa when I was five years old. I once gave up practicing Dafa because of the persecution which started in 1999, but I picked up where I left off in 2003. After obtaining the Fa I knew Dafa would be the guiding light for my cultivation. I cried over and over when I read Teacher's articles, since I had never been so touched and awed by anything like that. I told myself that I must persevere in my cultivation.
Although I knew the Fa clearly in my heart, there were too many temptations and traps. Schools are no longer offering a pure learning environment and the degenerated standards of goodness and beauty constantly corrode us. Like other ordinary high school students, I like to have romantic dreams, listen to popular rock music, watch my favorite movie star's latest movies, and judge others by their looks and attractiveness. Even after I started practicing Dafa again, I still could not control my emotions. I knew I must not be "tarnished" by the dirty environment. It might be hard, but I must overcome this hardship.
I would like to share my own experiences after reading many articles on Clearwisdom.net, share my mistakes, the mistakes of a not-so-diligent young practitioner, and share the guidance provided by Teacher.
The "Hair Incident"
Because of my attachment to outward appearances, I was moved by my classmates' straight and long hair. I thought such a look was cool and pretty. My hair had always been curly and I thought it didn't look as good. During the holidays I had my hair straightened. Yet after a few days my hair curled up again. I thought that I did not maintain my hair well and felt regret. Not long after that, my school required all girl students to keep their hair short. Even though I was feeling a bit upset, I examined myself by studying the Fa. I noticed my attachment of longing to be pretty. After I realized my attachment, I heard that the school changed their minds and no longer required that our hair be kept short. So it was a test after all.
Attachment of Sentimentality
During the holidays, two of my cousins visited us. Cousin A was a tall and handsome boy and I felt secure walking together with him. During his visit I felt like I was falling in love with him and indulging in my dreamy thoughts, not knowing that I was falling in my cultivation at the same time.
After a while, cousin B came to my house. He was not a good student, yet while he was the same age as me, he was already an "old hand" at the dating game. During his stay, I constantly listened to him about his "dating experiences." I could not study the Fa at all and forgot to send forth righteous thoughts. As a result I was able to be influenced by his ideas and lifestyle. From time to time, even I was shocked by my own irresponsible comments. One evening we went to the park together. The sky was clear with stars twinkling down at us; it appeared very romantic. He sang for me and held my hands in his. I was excited while immersed in that atmosphere, without realizing that it was not good. After I got home, I found a cut in my hand that was bleeding and painful. At that moment I knew I was wrong in my behavior.
Two days later cousin B returned to school. I walked with him to the train station. As I rode the bus home, the bus driver asked me, "Please show me your student ID card." I was shocked by his request since I had never needed to show my student ID card (which got me the half price bus ticket). Why did he ask me this time? I did not look that old, yet the driver felt that I did not have the appearance of a student, causing him to ask for my ID card. I believe this was an incident that Teacher used to enlighten me. I realized right away that my conduct in front of others was not in keeping with that of a student, let alone a Dafa practitioner.
I know that I am a practitioner, so how could I get so tangled up in ordinary human sentiment? I feel regretful after reading the articles on Clearwisdom.net about fellow practitioners' diligent cultivation.
Teacher constantly and silently helped me so that I wouldn't become mixed up with ordinary people's attachments, so why couldn't I be more diligent in my cultivation? A new semester just began. I am facing a brand new environment and I will start anew. This time I must promise myself not to indulge in human sentiment, and be a real Dafa practitioner. I will follow the path arranged by Teacher, because I want to go home.
September 7 2005
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